Wait. What??

Blog Post created by BellaJay on Dec 12, 2017

My G-mail joyfully said, that tomorrow is THAT day. Wait. What?? Already? I didn't wait this to happen that fast.  I  am confused now. And I am not ready for that. Not tomorrow.  It is too soon. Yes, I know, I had enough time to think of that and about, but I wished, there were a bunch of e-mails reminding me "hey, it is 3 days till your Big day".  Or "Get strong, grumpiness 3 days ahead". I feel like I didn't do my home work and now it is time for a test. 


I didn't find any serious enough thing to replace the happiness, puff gives me. And that is a big deal. I know, what nicotine does, I just can't find something that would uplift me strong enough. No songs, no foods, no drinks, no activities, which doesn't end with cigarette. I like crocheting, but sitting in one pose for a long time drives me to "oh, it is time to stretch my legs and go for a cig". And that is positive side effect on smoking. If you do, you are pushed to get away from PC, TV  (unless you don't smoke inside the house, right in front of monitor) or at work. It is like natural Pomodoro technique! 


Sounds like "girl, you are talking bullshit". Well, this is my bullshit. And I mean that. If anyone that day will say/do something that bothers me...  I am able to rub ones eye with a fork, if he/she blinks too loud. Ask my husband, he has to deal with PMS. Which is straight around the corner. 


And I'm apologizing to newly nonsmokers, if you by accident came on my blog post. I think I can push you back, but you are stronger than me, right? 


Seems like "sink or swim", I feel like sinking already. not readyneedonemoreday,