Well day 7 came and went. I don’t know why I expected things to start being easier. I at least thought I would physically start feeling better.
The drive home from moms went well. Beat the traffic and drove all the way thru as didn’t have to pull over for a smoke. No panic attacks so felt really good. Then my reality hit, my real life staring me in the face. It was like being back at day 1. Normally after a road trip (as I have never smoked in my car) I would immediately go to my back patio for a smoke... okay so can’t do that anymore. I wonder what will become of my back patio? So I unload my rental car, take it back. Come home put everything away and head to Walmart to pick up groceries. Things are going pretty well until I am waiting in line to check out and my heart just starts going crazy. It feels like it’s going to explode. I start getting hot and lightheaded. What the heck? The rest of the day I just felt miserable. My body ached and I couldn’t concentrate. Finally took a jetted bubble bath (with lit candle) and that did help.
I knew this would be hard, I really did, that’s why I put it off for so long. It would be nice to have someone around that was going thru the same thing (after all misery loves company). The people I will be around tomorrow at work have never smoked and I am going to show up looking all “normal” while the “crazies” are running amuck inside. All they are going to see is me not smoking and think how easy was that....
My new normal. I will be okay (fingers crossed) . I will make it thru this. I am tough. I am amazing!