I survived a major trigger. . . a visit from my mother. I mean, she actually stayed in my house. For two days. And I didn't smoke.
I wish I could make you understand what a miracle this is. It's not water to wine or anything, but it's pretty darn big.
Now, to all the EX moms out there, please know that I love and value mothers. I'm one myself. I just happen to have a fraught relationship with mine.
This is interesting. She stayed a whole two days with me, and she never noticed or mentioned that I didn't smoke. She knows I smoked. Granted, I never smoked in front of her, just as I never smoked in front of anyone. But she always knew why I headed out to the garage "for a minute." And, of course, she could smell it when I came back in from the garage. I didn't tell her I had stopped smoking, but I thought for sure she'd notice.
My nephew came with my mom for the visit. He's 13, and he's a city boy who loves to be out in nature. So, I took him on a two-hour hike that leads up to the ridge of a small mountain. Lemme tell ya . . . the last time I hiked up that little mountain, I was a smoker. At the pinnacle of the steepest incline--a 20-minute incline--I was so out of breath, and coughed so much and so hard, that I thought I'd throw up. My son was with me, and even commented that it pretty much did me in. I was embarrassed.
I was still out of breath this time, but I could talk. I DID NOT COUGH ONCE. My son, my city-boy nephew, and another nephew were all with me. I was so darned proud. My calves, though. Ouch.
Yesterday, I took my mom, my teen daughter, and two of her teen friends to go prom dress shopping. This is my daughter's senior prom, so she really wants to get the dress right. I hate shopping. In fact, it's another major smoking trigger for me. And my mom, the BIG SMOKING TRIGGER INCARNATE, was there, too. So it was like a great big whopper of smoking triggers all right there together. My daughter tried on--and I am not exaggerating--40-ish dresses. We went to four shops. She's lovely, so they were all beautiful on her. She never found the RIGHT ONE. Sigh. We're back at it tomorrow. Bigger sigh.
Let me back up and say that, on Monday, I ended up with something I haven't has since the pre-teen years: a horrible inner-ear infection. I started a 10-day course of antibiotics. The great big hike was Thursday, and the prom dress / shopping extravaganza was Friday. Today is Saturday, and guess what time I woke up? Around 7 a.m., which is already pretty late for me (I'm a serious early bird). However, I ate cereal, took my meds, then went right back to bed. The next thing I know, my husband is there to wake me up, saying that it's NOON!!! Never, ever, in my life have I slept until noon. I think the combination of the infection, the hike, and the shopping laid me low.
So today was much calmer. I took my son and nephews to see the Black Panther. (Excellent film. I'm not an action film fan, and I loved it. It's incredible for so many reasons. Go see it!) Came home, ate soup, walked dogs, and then finally found my happy-horizontal-couch time
Patting myself on the back for making it through the mom visit and the prom shopping with no smoking. It's all good. I don't do that anymore.
Wishing everyone a wonderful rest of the weekend---Dawn