I did great yesterday until 2:00. I'm realizing now I didn't spend enough time preparing; but, yesterday was still a big success for me. Only 4 compared to the usual 12-15. What happened? A friend of mind insisted we go out to lunch together and I tried hard to beg her off; but, she was insistent. Once we were in my car, she asked if I had any cigarettes. I said no and she said, "Are you kidding me??". It turned out she was on Day 6 of her quit, so I probably really helped her out by not helping her feed the nicotine monster; but, she definitely didn't help me. Anyway, now she knows that I am also quitting and I hope that she will be more supportive in the future. It's hard enough to do this. I really need the supportive of my friends who either continue to smoke or are considering a quit themselves. That dynamic alone is an interesting one and something I might blog about later. Everyone wants to quit; but, when you decide to, it's as if you're abandoning THEM! Ugh...so unfair...
I have a big interview this afternoon. This is for a position that I want more than any other job I've ever applied for. It's also a position for which, if hired, I would never want them to know that I smoke and I want my mind and body free and clear of this poison for several months before the job would begin in July. I'm sick and tired of constantly wondering when I can get my next fix and am finally realizing that this is truly an addiction that I'll need to work hard to eliminate.
Another positive from yesterday's experience: each one that I did give into, I turned off the TV and sat mindfully with that cigarette and guess what? I realized it does not taste good at all and I really don't enjoy it. There's nothing good about it. In fact, it's pretty gross. This is also a big step for me.
