Augustus44

THIS ROCKY ROAD TO FREEDOM

Blog Post created by Augustus44 on Nov 22, 2019

Greetings all: Well, i am in my 34th day without smoking. I can't tell you that I am out of the woods by any stretch, but I am finding that the "pangs" are a bit fewer. That being said, some of them are pretty big when they hit. what I try to do, is change the "subject." I stop doing what I am doing and do something else. My best move is to take a walk--even though it's cold in New Hampshire, I can still hang in there. 

 

I have been reading Carr's book and it has helped, although I have had some serious dreams at night--I've also had some trouble sleeping. I'm afraid that "never again" has not quite sunken in yet--I have to use this as a mantra and chant it over and over--and I'm not one of those types.

 

On the positive side, I have saved the money I would have spent on cigarettes, and I do feel better--no smoker's cough, no real "bent over, eye drooping feelings" after that first one in the morning. That's a big plus. I think every smoker must think as they puff away, this might be the last one--I think I came close to a stroke one morning after a first one, but it didn't happen. 

 

I quit because of a scare: i don't want to grow you out but looking down at the bowl of bleed, scared the bejesus out of me.  The doctor in the Emergency Room asked me: "  Do you smoke." When I answered "Yes," she said "Hmmmm." The diagnosis was perhaps bladder polyps, or cancer, or prostate problems or cancer. ( By the way, the Emergency Room is no picnic--the poor people I saw in there-whew). Ultimately, after my doctor said drink lots of water, the bleeding immediately disappeared. Following that there was a Kodak moment on my bladder ( that was "fun,") and a conclusion that something happened but it went away. I have to go back for another "camera shot," but i promised myself, after I'd smoked at least 5 cigarettes when I returned from the Emergency Room, that if i could get clear of this, I'd quit. i quit and though I'm not a praying man, went to church to ask for some Grace. 

What sits in my mind is something the doctor said: "Smoking effects everything in a negative way." Carr calls it poison. To think I've been addicted to poison for most of my life is not a happy thought. I'm feeling guilty about the whole thing. So, I think it's time for a walk--a long one. I hope that you'll write back of you'd like--I need all the help anyone has to offer. And by the way---Happy Thanksgiving.

 

 

 

 

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