Augustus44

THIS ROCKY JOURNEY TO FREEDOM

Blog Post created by Augustus44 on Nov 16, 2019

I'M NOT SURE WHAT A BLOG IS, BUT I'M STARTING ONE NOW AND HOPING THAT OTHERS WILL JOIN ME FOR A DAILY COMMENT OR FIVE! 

 

I'M AN OLD BUCK--75 BIG ONES--AND I HAVE TRIED TO QUIT SMOKING A NUMBER OF TIMES. LIKE MARK TWAIN, I BELIEVE THAT QUITTING SMOKING IS EASY--"I'VE DONE IT HUNDREDS OF TIMES."  I ONCE QUIT FOR ONE YEAR AND DECIDED THAT ON NEW YEAR'S DAY, WHICH WAS THE FIRST YEAR ANNIVERSARY, I'D SEE WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE A SMOKE--JUST FOR ONE NIGHT. MAJOR MISTAKE. I GRADUALLY RETURNED TO SMOKING. 

 

I AM APPROACHING MY FIRST MONTH OF BEING SMOKE FREE. I AM HALF WAY THROUGH THE RECOMMENDED BOOK ON QUITTING SMOKING WHICH MAKES ALL THE SENSE IN THE WORLD. THE EFFECTS OF NOT SMOKING HAVE BEEN REMARKABLE IN JUST A SHORT TIME. I CERTAINLY  HAVE MORE ENERGY, I DON'T HAVE TO PLAN MY DAY AROUND WHEN I'M GOING TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO "SNEAK" A CIGARETTE--I HAVE BEEN A CLOSET SMOKER FOR YEARS, AND I DON'T SMELL OF SMOKE. ( AVOIDING DETECTION IS ALMOST A FULL TIME JOB--WHEN SOMEONE IS COMING OVER, OR I AM GOING SOMEWHERE, I HAVE TO SHOWER, BRUSH MY NICOTINE TEETH, AND CHANGE MY CLOTHES. SOMETIMES, I ONLY HAVE A HALF HOUR TO DO THIS.) SO ALL OF THAT IS GOOD. THERE ARE OTHER GOOD THINGS AS WELL. 

 

NOW, THERE ARE OTHER THINGS THAT KEEP NAGGING AT ME. IT'S BITTER COLD HERE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE, AND NORMALLY, I WOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM SATISFYING A "NIC FIT," BY STEPPING OUT ON TO THE DECK, AND FREEZING AS I PUFFED AWAY. EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND HOPE THAT I HAVE THE STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH ANOTHER DAY. I AM BEGINNING TO SEE THAT NICOTINE ADDICTION IS THE DRIVING FORCE BEHIND ANY OF MY DESIRES TO "FALL OFF THE WAGON." THAT'S A NEW THOUGHT FOR ME. I, FOR MANY YEARS, CLUNG TO THE OTHER LIES THAT SMOKING PROVIDED ME--REWARD, RELAXATION, BETTER CONCENTRATION, AND ESPECIALLY A RESPITE BETWEEN ACTIVITIES. I MADE SURE THAT I ALWAYS HAD ENOUGH CIGARETTES TO GET ME THROUGH THE DAY AND EVENING. ALL THOSE TRIGGERS ARE STILL THERE. THE ONLY THING I DO FIND IS THAT THE "NIC FITS" DON'T LAST FOR VERY LONG. I HAVE TO JUST DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. SOME DAYS ARE FULL OF "NIC FITS." THIS IS WHY I AM RELYING ON THIS COMMUNITY TO OFFER ADVICE, HELP ME AND OTHERS OUT, AND BEAT THIS ADDICTION. 

 

I'M INVITING ANY AND ALL OF YOU TO WRITE BACK. THANKS IN ADVANCE, IF YOU DO. 

 

AUGUSTUS44

 

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