People Are Messy

Blog Post created by AnnetteMM on Apr 22, 2019

I spent most of my career in the Special Education system, and I learned a few things about being a human being from watching how kids learn.


  • Positive works better than negative. 
  • Meaningful rewards for the desired behavior are different for everyone.
  • Concrete directions are essential. 
  • Keep your hands to yourself and use your words.


What does it mean as an adult? Same, but different. Especially when the adults have addictions.


  • We cheer each other on as we succeed, as we work to succeed, and as we state our goals. We're POSITIVE.
  • Those cheers are everything to some people, and others need the points, or the badges, or to buy something for themselves. We all need MEANINGFUL REWARDS for our successes.
  • We educate ourselves on addiction and prepare for our quits. To that end, we need CONCRETE DIRECTIONS in the form of helpful tips and coping techniques. We share what works for us. We ignore what doesn't.
  • Not everyone has the same issues, but we all have some. Working through addiction means learning to help ourselves deal with our own issues. So if we're angry or resentful, we need to keep OUR HANDS TO OURSELVES. 


People are messy. As adults, we need to learn to clean up after ourselves. It's no one else's responsibility, and no one else is to blame for our mess. We need to learn to express our emotions without lashing out at others.


No one forced us to become addicts, and no one is forcing us to quit. No one is forcing me to be here or to blog or to read. It's all on me. "Take what you need and leave the rest" means IGNORE what doesn't work for you.