I'm have a bit of a tough time today. It actually started last night when my husband thought; since we're doing so good not smoking that we should go away for a long weekend. He was ready to book a hotel room in South Lake Tahoe. I panicked, my stomach felt like it did the first time I thought of quitting smoking. Tight, crampy, and all of a suddenly very uncomfortable. We enjoy the penny slots, you know nothing big. But I went into full on freak out mode. I said very meanly, " I don't think we have any business being in a casino with all those smokers yet". He thought about it and agreed. I can tell I stressed him out, because he told me that he really want a ciggy, you know just to calm him down. I blew my top and tried explaining that you won't get the ahhhhhh feeling, that smoking just causes stress. ( He won't read Carr's book). We ended up going to bed, not mad, but their was tension there. Awoke this morning and all I can think about is puffing away. I even put off blogging earlier because I was just craving so hard. I texted my son (he's 29 with 7 months quit) and told him that we were smoke free for seven days. He texted me back all these crazy positive emojis with a super sweet message. I thought: now you can't smoke! I instead ate a bowl of cereal and while I was munching away I decided that I would turn off the TV and just think about all the reasons why I quit and then thinking about having to face all my supporters with the news that I once again blew it. Most of all letting my son down. So that's me right now. I'm on number 33 of things to do, I've been walking outside, keeping busy, but I still am having those nightmare cravings. I bit into a lemon - never again and put my head in the freezer. I think I need to leave the house for awhile.