Today I said goodbye to you once and for all. You have been my partner in crime for 33 years now and you have always seemed to be there for me. Although we've had several fights and break-ups before; this time I'm just simply tired of you and your weaseling ways. You never let me go to a walk-in movie EVER. You steal my money and leave my car dirty and stinky. I am embarrassed by you and never introduce you to any of my clients. I can't even enjoy one single dinner with my family and friends without you rushing me out the door so we can be "alone." I've spent so much time trying to cover up the fact that I even know you; I'm always applying scented lotions to my hands and eating breath mints to cover up your stinky smell. Remember last Christmas when we made the whole family wait to open presents until we went outside to "talk." Well, I'm tired of all this so consider this our final goodbye. We once were so close but now I'm moving on with different friends. Friends that like going to the indoor movies, that won't rush me outside after where done eating. You know what? They never ask me for money and when I'm with them I'm no longer out of breath. Like I used to get when we would hang out. Please stay away from me and I will stay away from you. I know I will see you around but this time I'm gonna stay my distance. Goodbye my old friend. This time you we not be missed.
