Well, today marks the beginning of the rest of my life. I am still incredulous that I set my quit date in the middle of a worldwide crisis, but the thing that keeps running through my mind is: "Maybe I'm quitting just in time." I feel like today is the right day, even though I'm anxious and stressed.
I broke all my cigarettes except 1.5 and I have about 2/3 of my last cigarette.... I'm savoring it because it's my last cigarette. I'm counting the day I finish my last cigarette as my quit date because THE LAST CIGARETTE seems so momentous.
I'm worried about handling cravings when husband stresses me out. I have to remember to rise above, but the stress in my marriage is the reason I started smoking again. It provided me with a reset.... I went outside stressed out and came back in with self control. I need to find something else that works.
But I'm grateful above all.... grateful for my support system, grateful for God's grace, and grateful for my desire to quit. At this time last year, I was terribly depressed and could barely function. Now I'm eating right, quitting smoking, and have the desire to exercise again. I'm grateful I managed to stay alive and rise above.
So, here we go.... day by day, minute by minute, until NOT smoking is my habit. Yay.