As some of y’all saw, today was pretty difficult. Or at least the first part of today. I had finished up making up some time for work and just hit a wall basically. Tired, sad, allowing the dark thoughts to spiral, pulling me down with them. But after my last post, I collected myself and wiped the tears from my face, showered to get the emotions off of me and texted my friend. I told her flat out, “I’m struggling with my quit today. I need a distraction.” And she’s working on quitting too, so she gets it (I thought she had already quit but she’s not there yet. She doesn’t have NRT yet and didn’t want to just stop abruptly when I stopped. But she is reducing the amount she smokes and plans to be quit by the time we go camping on the 18th, which happens to be her birthday.) So we just ran errands and rode around in the sunshine and got some fun things for our camping trip. And I forgot my sadness. And I forgot the desire I had to smoke. I just had a really enjoyable afternoon and evening. Almost felt like a completely different day from this morning. And I’m actually feeling more confident now. If I made it through that mess and didn’t smoke, I know there’s really nothing that should convince me to going back to smoking. I know there are still going to be rough times, but I know I can handle it if I just give it time. And I also know I can come here and blog and read when things are hard. Thanks to everyone for the support today! I really appreciate it!
