Though I've known for a little while now that I wanted to quit, I've been slow to tell people. I think I'm afraid that they'll judge me if I fail or they won't want to hang out with me anymore. I met two of my closest friends in training for our job. We all smoke. That's really what got us to know each other. One of those friends has been a fairly constant companion throughout the pandemic. We started doing Friday Night Brews back in April where we would just sit on the porch at my apartment and have a couple beers and chat and essentially chain smoke for several hours. When we were comfortable enough to re-enter society when things started opening back up, we would just drive around and go on random errands (some necessary and some not). And we smoke the whole time we are in the car. She and my husband and I went to Washington DC in August for my 30th birthday. We were there for other things, it just happened to fall on my birthday, but it was a phenomenal weekend. And except for when we were in areas where we couldn't smoke, we smoked an awful lot. My husband is a smoker too. Now that we are in a new house, Brews Night has been changed to Saturday and when the weather is decent, we spend the evening sitting on the deck and chain smoking. Luckily, the weather has been terrible for quite a while and we have had hockey to watch, so we haven't smoked quite as much as before. She introduced me to hockey. She offered me her tickets so I could take my husband to a game for his birthday back in 2016 only a couple weeks after we met. I fell in love with the game. I'm not sure how other arenas are, but PNC as 2 outdoor smoking areas. She and I, or my husband and I, or all of us when we all go, have a routine for the games. Get there when the doors open. Grab a beer. Go smoke a couple. Grab some food (BBQ nachos FTW, only in NC ). Head down to our seats and try to finish eating before the teams come out and they play the anthem. Then each intermission rush out to the smoking area and get in a couple before the next period starts.
I was pretty worried about telling her that I plan to quit. I was really concerned that all of our routines and rituals would be messed up because I am choosing not to be a smoker. In fact, I set my quit date when I did because this friend and I are going camping mid March, so I was hoping that if I quit March first then that would give me enough time to get these new routines established and make sure I have my craving busters ready so that when we do go camping she could still smoke and maybe I would feel less inclined to participate. But this past Friday, despite my nerves, I told her that I am quitting. She asked me when and about my plan and to my surprise she said she would quit with me. I was shocked. I was not expecting that response at all. I'm really excited that I'm going to have a quit buddy and that I'll have someone to go through this with, especially since my husband is not ready to quit, but that's a story for another time. I feel like I have in person support now and I feel like if she is going to support me in this that others will too. I'm starting to feel more comfortable with this decision to quit.
Quit date 1 week from today. I'm ready.
Ellen
Welcome!
Quitting takes more than willingness, but it's a GREAT start. I would also suggest you do some reading to educate yourself on this addiction, start changing up your routines, get a list together of things you can do when you have a rough patch, garner support (you seem to be way ahead on that point - and we can help, too) and commit to never smoking another cigarette NO MATTER WHAT. Perhaps you can involve your friend in these getting ready activities -they will help both of you be successful! You will need to ask your husband to smoke out of your sight, and to keep his cigarettes, ashtrays, out of your sight in the early days of your quit. You should also get rid of all of yours when your quit date arrives. Don't lasso your quit to your friend's. It is YOURS to succeed and her failure should not give you an out to do that, too.
The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” You can search for it online or at your local library. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
Let me know if you decide to use a quit aid and I will give you my thoughts on them.
It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! . Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. You might visit “Games”: https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/games. The active ones are at the top of the list going down the left side of the homepage. Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
Nancy