Tonight I am ending my 20th day. ( I know the site won't count it till tomorrow morning, but I do) This week I have hung back with posting. Just reading what others have to say.
I told a friend tonight that it was 20 days, and he said "already?" Isn't it amazing what feels like a long journey to us seems like nothing to the guy still smoking?! I'm sure there was a time not too long ago that I would have discounted the efforts of someone else, mostly to avoid my feelings of envy and guilt.
What amazes me the most is that it feels like so much longer to me. For the most part it seems like something I did in the distant past. Yet just last night I had my first smoking dream. ( I was so puzzled that it didn't taste terrible, and that when I said I would just have 1, I was screaming... NO YOU WON'T!! inside). Now when the thought of smoking comes in times of stress or just big feelings, I tell myself, "You don't do that anymore." I can't believe how well that works!
Tomorrow I start my third week, and my dental work. I would be lying if I said that I haven't been consumed with worry and fear of what I will be doing tomorrow. I am hoping that it will be like the days leading up to the first day of my quit...
by tomorrow morning I will be so tired of thinking (obsessing!) that no matter how bad it is, it will feel like a relief.
Please keep me in your prayers and send me strength.
Ann
