Another day down. Thank God! I'm not sure why, but this is the day I was worried about. The last three days have been very busy, which has probably been the best thing possible for me. There have been stressful moments that would have had me smoking up a storm... but I have handled them.
Today I noticed that I am feeling alot more sadness and almost a little lost. Maybe more correctly, loss. Somehow I had looked at my "smoke breaks" as a time just for me, or a way to take care of myself. How crazy is that?!?!
I called my dentist to get more estimates for the work I need done and to get the ball rolling. (Also very stressful and frustrating) When I look at the cost and PAIN involved in fixing the damage smoking has done... I felt really pissed!
In the past I would have beat myself up. Today as silly as it may sound, I am so angry at cigarettes! Even though I know I'm the sucker behind them, it felt really good and healthy? to be angry at the cigarettes. If those feelings and silly thoughts keep me from smoking, I guess it doesn't really matter if they're silly.
I have been leaning on my support system alot too. Making phone calls, asking for what I need. My husband even went to pick up lots of veggies for me, so I would have something healthy to help me deal with the mouth issues. I'm that jerk that kept smoking off and on for 10 years after he quit. I'm really grateful that he is being so supportive for me. Wish I could go back and do that for him!
Each day I'm feeling a little stronger and confident. I think I can do this.
