I have been a smoker off and on my whole adult life. Each time I have quit in the past, I swore I would never start again. I didn't ever want to go through this again. And yet here I am.
About two months ago I was at the dentist... I need some implants and periodontal work. I know so much of that is the result of smoking. She told me that if I didn't quit there was no point in doing the work. It would fail. During the exam, the tears started to roll. She asked if it hurt... I said no, I'm just so sad that I did this to myself.
I made an appointment with a doctor to get wellbutron and the patch. I've been taking the wellbutron for about 2 weeks. I have the patches ready. I'm asking my support system for encouragement.... And I'm scared!
I'm sitting here tonight, asking myself what will be different this time. I don't know honestly.
Maybe it's that this time the reason I'm quiting is for Me. Sure it will make some people in my life very happy. And probably some not so much. But I want to make me happy. To fight for a longer, stronger and healthier life.
I know my brain will try to set me up, to get me to go back not forward.
So I will ask anyone out there, if you think of me tomorrow... send me your encouragement. I know I will need it.
