I don't know why I didn't reach out yesterday before I lit up but I didn't. Yesterday I tried pushing myself, I forgot The patch and then I got curious to see how long I could go on by myself. I held myself off for many hours and then I have In a's soon as there was a smoke nearby. That feeling I got though, of something missing, there's some kind of void that I've been seeking to fill. I started drinking and smoking young. And of course quitting smoking it helps to stop drinking as well, I've always noticed this void or niggling feeling something pretty big is missing from me but I got to observe it pretty well last night .