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Give and get support around quitting

Mckenna
Member

Newbie. I want to be a Quitter!

Hello everybody I'm new here. Please excuse any typos as I'm talking into my phone. I'm soon to be 60 years old I'm a female former bodybuilder up to my 30s, service-connected disabled military vet, married to a non smoker, came from a non-smoking upbringing. So why am I here. The reason is simple and yet it is complicated. We all have our stories and I'm sure mine might vary from some and be parallel to others we're all here to live. I smoked casually in high school stopped completely when I was 17 began bodybuilding and became an amateur bodybuilder up until 9:30 which included a military stent of which I suffer PTSD and in that respect and 50% disabled plus retired. I began smoking again when I was in my mid-thirties after I stopped bodybuilding and still smoke some what casually but I think with the loss of my parents the loss of my grown nephew in Osaka Japan killed in a motorcycle accident I fear those were my biggest triggers. I never drank I never did drugs. I'm pretty much a clean slate except for this one demon smoking. All my lab work at the hospitals always came out good and miraculously chest x-rays were actually clear. In 2011 I was a victim of an assault and was punched severely in the back of my head which caused the thalamus brain hemorrhage. Funny when I think of it now I worked really hard and regained all my falculty by myself Physical Therapy was booked up 4 months. I taught myself to walk to read speak I gave my sight back in my right eye and to look at me today you would never think anything was wrong with me. But that brain bleed ended up turning into cavernous brain malformations which are the thinning of the arteries in the brain. In that the brain sent mixed signals have a large cyst in my left kidney I have liver disease just like somebody who drank and a couple of other issues where the brain keeps sending mixed signals to other body parts. But once again to look at me I am the picture of Health and nobody can even fathom what I've been through by looking at me. So again why am I here. Began smoking with the major triggers stopped for a year after the brain bleeds and gradually start smoking again. My stop date was July 19th of this year. Cold turkey. I've had a couple of slip-ups but I la myself that and get back on the horse because I know this is a challenge a life-saving challenge. July 19th we return from a road trip from Southern California to Oregon and had a beautiful time right on the Rogue River breathtaking. We wrapped it on the White Waters we ate well we took in the scenery is a slice of Heaven there's no doubt. On the way home we were in a hurry so we failed to stop for two nights and instead made a one night stay in Sacramento when I got home I was in full-blown altitude sickness. I was rushed to the hospital by paramedics 4 days later with difficulty breathing no pain no cough dizziness. They ran every test possible in the hospital and they found what they thought and may still think it's a blood clot somewhere in my body they can't find it all my other blood levels were good and then the doctor came in and said I had a blocked artery somewhere just the kind of news I wanted to hear. They would then went on to say my EKG was normal with the exception of two little blips which they called bunny ears which is an indication of some sort of lung disease what kind they don't know. So that's enough to make me stop quit walk away and it no more smoking done while I'm waiting for results. I'm waiting for those lab results to come in from the doctor to see where we stand but in the meantime I've gone completely vegan as of July 19th all plant-based. I threw out the cigarettes. I'm walking 2 miles every morning and every evening working my way up to five miles every morning and every evening non-strenuous casual but it's getting the job done. So why am I here. I haven't tempted fate over all these years smoking but I do know it's been a vice a very bad Vice a very unhealthy Vice. I'm all grown up and know all the implications from smoking with her it's one cigarette five cigarettes or 5 packs a day I don't need to watch a commercial on TV or have a doctor tell me all the negatives I do know what they are. So why am I here. I need people like me. I need people fighting for their lives like me. I need people understand the addictions of smoking. I have nobody I can talk to because everybody is a non-smoker they all tell me I'll get past it it's no big deal and the worst comment I received was from someone close to me that said it's your own fault. Yes it is. Yes it is. But I need people that can motivate me and I need people that can tell me to get back on the horse and and what a good job I'm doing I need the support. I need these chemicals out of my body I need the Damage Done reversed I need to be smoke-free and I'm a fighter believe me I'm a fighter and I won't give up but what I need most of all is you. So why am I here I'm here because of you and because of me and because of us. We're going to be moving from Southern California and relocating to Coeur d'Alene Idaho I want to be able to live and enjoy the beauty I want to be able to take a deep breath and not worry I want to know I can go get lab work done and it comes in clean and that somehow somehow by the grace of God this clot is dissolved my lung disease is minor and that I can live my life to my fullest. So why am I here I want to be a quitter 150% Mckenna

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18 Replies
elvan
Member

Mckenna‌ Your hemoglobin would be high because you smoke, mine was always high because my body had to produce more red blood cells to carry oxygen.  Try to stay calm and be grateful that you are getting the testing done and will have a baseline to compare with later. It is always better to know what is happening.  Thomas3.20.2010‌ recommended a low dose CT Scan so I ASKED for one...it is a good idea since it shows lung cancer much earlier than x rays.  I was terrified but then so relieved when I got the result that there was nothing that looked like cancer.  You need to know your enemy...the damage from the nicotine.  You are a smart person who knows how to take care of herself, let me also thank you for your service.  

You are going to do this and be leading everyone else along the way.  Stay close to the site, it is a HUGE factor in the success of a quit.

Ellen

coreinstincts
Member

Mckenna You and I quit on the same day and I hope that you have your quit safe. I am sorry I am just finding you now and I want to invite you to a small group I am starting for people who have quit in July. While we all will be depending on the Elders we want to depend on each other first to get us through the hard times and while each person owns their own quit we stand to help each other through their fight because we are family in our own right of passage. 

0 Kudos

Hi Mckenna‌! Welcome!

First, May I Thank You for your service to our Country? 

Second, you absolutely are in the correct place! I'm very sorry that you are having these multiple scary health issues! In that you are not alone! Sadly, Nicotine Addiction is so powerful that it often takes a scare to get us to the Quit Journey!

Congratulations on your Quit! You may not see it yet but you have made the Best Decision of your Life!

You have been fighting like the warrior you are! Perhaps you could think of your Quit Journey in a different way and stop fighting so hard - relax into your Quit. https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2013/12/10/why-willpower-can-never-work?sr...‌ I already know you have determination and incredible focus. Now turn that focus on embracing the New Smoke FREE Mckenna and you won't have to fight so hard so much! You have enough in your Life that you're fighting!

You can Become an EX! Imagine what you want to become, do what it takes on a daily basis to get there and become this NEW Better-than-ever YOU!

SkyGirl
Member

Welcome to EX, McKenna.  This site provides so much support and information.  And while you may feel overwhelmed by the welcoming you are getting, you will soon start to put names with personalities and start to recognize avatars.  Each person here is in a different stage of their Quit.  Many are just finding us now, like you.  The people here range from those who still smoke and are gathering their arsenal of information (with plans to quit soon) all the way across the spectrum to people who quit 10 years ago!  The thing we all have in common is a desire to be free from nicotine addiction.  You will find much information, lots of advice, suggestions galore here.  Remember this: Your Quit is Your Own.  There is no magic formula to a successful Quit.  Each person must read, listen, interact with others and then do what is RIGHT for YOU to maintain your Quit.  Some things will resonate with you and some things will not.  We like to say, "Take what you need and leave the rest".  The most important thing that we EXers offer each other is unconditional support.  This is a safe place.  You can blog about anything you want to, how you are feeling, questions you have, moments of joy and pride, other moments of sadness/panic/fear/frustration.  Bring it all on, McKenna!  Because for every single blog or comment that one of us posts here, there is someone, maybe many someones, who will connect with what you wrote and will come to support, congratulate and encourage you.  

I would encourage you to spend a lot of your first few days here just reading blogs and exploring this site.  It may seem daunting at first to navigate through this site, but once you start playing around, it does become more clear.  You don't have to use the entire site.  You can go to "Groups", scroll down and pick a group to join that interests you.  You can just click on the little pencil in the top right corner and pick something to write; a blog, a question, or anything else.  The important thing is that, in order to reap the benefits of the way we all support each other, you need to get involved here on the site.  Some people spend a little time here every day.  Some people spend hours here every day.  Some people drop by every few days to check in.  The more you involve yourself with the other Quitters here will balance out with the benefits you will reap on EX.  

So know that we are so glad that you have found us!  We love getting new members with fresh perspectives!  And remember this important fact:  YOUR addiction to nicotine is no stronger nor harder to beat than any of OUR addictions to nicotine was.  And if WE can Quit forever, so can YOU.

love, Sky

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BrianE
Member

I am new to this site and find it very helpful with information and a good plan to quit.  I quit on Aug 5th a couple of days away. I am ready. I did all  the prep work that was recommended by people on this site. Stay with us and you will overcome.  Brian.

Diannnnn
Member

Hi Mckenna‌, welcome. Sorry I missed yours and BrianE‌ 's arrival. I was kind of wrapped up in my own head. 

This place is great and I hope you take full advantage of the wisdom of the Elders. They are pretty darn smart!

Good luck to you both and keep your quit a priority!

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KMC56
Member

Welcome!  This is an awesome site that will embrace and empower you to a successful lifetime quit! 

~Kathy 676 DOF

josnyder72
Member

McKenna - First and foremost, Thank you for your service and sacrifice to serve our great country! You definitely came to the right place. As a newbie myself 26 days (my quit date was July 17th This place has been very helpful and the folks are extremely gracious and supportive, I find myself on this site multiple times every day. I also find it helpful to take the daily pledge - I think making myself accountable, makes saying NOPE a whole lot easier. It sounds like you have been through so much in your life and here you are sharing your story with us. You are a warrior and a survivor and I know you will and can successfully survive your quit. My thoughts and prayers are with you while you await results and answers. Please keep us posted, we are all friends here and we won't let you go through this alone.

Jo