There is nobody looking, tell me what would you do?

[BryantD]

Ok,,tell me what happens when you get the urge to smoke, only because it is a habit, and the triggers never really go away, you just learn to subdue them? Well here it is I am in a room and my best friend is smoking.  I usually smoke with him as we talk and about talking, about nothingnext to smomething that could be important.  The trigger was the entire situation. What do I do with my hands? What do I do about the stinky smell that is all too familiar, but none the less I want to join in. Do I tell my friend to put the cigarette out? Do I just walk away? Do I grab a cigarette and join in? In this case tell me what would you do.. there is no right or wrong answers so be brutally honest, what would you do? 

[crazymama_Lori]

First off, I have urges all the time.  I just don't act on them.  The urges are just a memory being triggered.  They don't bother me.  They only pop up once in a while.  No biggy.  Smoking was a big part of my life for 43 years.  It's only been not part of my life for a year and a half.  In my first six months, I'd be not joining my friend because it would bother me too much not to smoke.  In my first 30 days, yeah, I'd probably start smoking.  I steered clear of anyone who smoked then.  I didn't have enough knowledge yet.  At my nine month mark, the smell would get to me.  At my one year mark, it doesn't bother me one bit.  BUT big difference, I'd tell my friend that if they want to shoot the breeze that's fine, but they will have to go elsewhere to smoke.  I do not ever go anywhere in a confined space where smoking is, I have no reason to and don't think it's wise to subject myself to that

[maryfreecig]

I would ask myself, "what did I mean all those times when  I said I wanted to quit." I'd ask myself, "does addiction feel good?" Nicotine feels good for a second, but does the addiction feel good, day in and day out? I'd ask myself, "did hacking, coughing up junk, wheezing, getting pnuemonia like illness in winter feel good." I'd also ask myself, "when did I forget what it was like to be a nonsmoker--and not mind it at all."  

[Sootie]

I'm not sure how many days you are quit. Those of us with a lot of days (and years) have probably learned to cope with this situation....I know I have. After all, the world goes on smoking even if we have stopped. My sister smokes.....when I first quit (first weeks) I simply would not go near her when she was smoking......it wasn't hard. At her house, she goes to the garage to smoke. So, I would simply stay in the house. But now, if I am in a conversation with her, I can go in the garage with her. When do a do with my hands.....nothing. I learned a long time ago to live as a non smoker....and you will also. BUT----if being with this friend in this situation tempts you to lose your quit......you'll need to avoid him/her. NOTHING is more important than your quit.

Stay Strong

[Thomas3.20.2010]

First action, "Please don't smoke around me! I am quitting smoking and I can't handle this for now." Second action if that doesn't work. "I'm taking a break with our relationship for now so I can maintain my Quit. It isn't personal! I just need some space for now!" Third action - no matter what - walk away and stay away! 

Once you break your Addiction you will come to hearing that second hand smoke is very deadly. 41,000 people die in the USA each Year due to second hand smoke. That's an average of 820 people per state per Year! There is no reason in the world why you and I won't be one of them! Nobody who smokes is allowed to smoke anywhere under any circumstances near me - including strangers. I'm very vocal about that!

[gregp136]

Personally, I also never hung around people who smoked inside.  Hated it.  Also, smoking is not a habit, it is an addiction.  I believe that is why the triggers are still there 20 yrs later.  Trigger to habit go away quickly.  Nail biters are not triggered to start up again.

[Legend]

I will tell you what I do. I will not be around anyone that smokes. If someone comes over to my house they must smoke outside. I won’t stand next to someone smoking I don’t care who they are. I don’t put myself in a situation that I could get triggered. I know some people say it does not bother them but I am serious about my quit so no smoking around me I protect my quit 100% not 99.9%.  I also keep saline mist around just in case I pass by someone at the store that is smoking outside and that smell gets in my nose I don’t want the smell of a cigarette triggering me. There is nothing wrong with telling someone to smoke away from you or you walking away from your friend or family member to keep your quit 100% safe. When you have a 100% commitment towards your quit you will make it. Any reason to smoke is an excuse.

Here is the link to my quit kit I use and it has a lot of good blogs in it and great suggestions by everyone. https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Christine_Aka_Legend-blog/2014/08/22/quit-kit

Best wishes to you

[Diannnnn]

Bryant,

I have thought a lot about this question. I have been having a great deal of difficulty resisting my cravings over the last couple of days. My quit day is 7/2. Trying to cut back as much as possible beforehand.

I have felt as if I should hide, even from other smokers, each time I give in to the beast. Funny enough, it doesn't bother me to be around them when they are smoking. Just not a trigger for me, at least right now.

I did buy a fidget spinner to see if it belonged in my toolbox. Takes care of idle hands for sure. Maybe adding hard candy or gum and really focusing on the conversation instead of that nasty tasting, sinus clogging, lung tissue killing, money wasting cigarette.

I know one thing, coming here and talking about it is the right thing to do. It helps all of us learn and grow! Thanks for that!

Dian

[Yess]

You want an honest reply?  My best friend would already know that I am no longer smoking and would not dream of smoking in a room with me present!  That's a best friend  all the rest is rhetoric.

[prjimm01]

I do not smoke.  I used to but I made the decision that I no longer do.  I don't enjoy the smoke so I would stay far enough away to not have to breathe it.  I am not even slightly tempted anymore (845 days).  I would recommend to my friend that he quit and I would offer to help.

[pir8fan]

To thine own self be true!