Weight Gain and Advice

[katherineu]

I have exercised all my life so when I quit smoking back in January I just trucked along with my regular routine at the gym.  Before I quit smoking I was always roughly ten pounds overweight because I never got back down to my real weight after having kids, give or take ten pounds I could stand to lose.  As of today I am 17 pounds fatter and life cannot suck anymore as a 40 year old fat woman.  This means I am about 30 pounds fat and entering the obesity stage!   I really thought I was fat back in January but this takes the cake, my clothes are tight, fat is sticking out everywhere, I cannot even look in a mirror without getting repulsed.  I never weighed this much during two of my pregnancies and maybe that is what is killing me is that I am fatter than I was pregnant, really?  Is this really happening?  I am considering my options, which is going back to smoking so I can go back to being 20 pounds lighter because I have DONE everything, drink water all day, eat real food, and exercise.  Is there any woman out here 40 and over struggling with weight, please give me advice because I cannot and I refuse to live my life as a fat person I cannot do it.  I have never been overweight and I am not even going to start at 40.

[Jennifer-Quit]

Please don't use that as an excuse to smoke.  Maybe step up your exercise program just a bit - keep up with the healthy eating and drinking lots of water.  Give your metabolism a chance to get back on track.  

[JustSharon]

The weight won't come off just because you start smoking again. You will still need to work on the weight. I agree with Jennifer, step up the exercise a bit. It's a pretty well known fact that once you reach the age of 40 your metabolism starts to slow down anyways and many a women put on a little extra at that time. Please don't blame smoking. Is a few extra pounds worth risking Cancer or some other smoking related disease?

[YoungAtHeart]

Weight gain is an EXCUSE, not a reason to smoke!  Exercise more - and keep your diet reasonable. If you seem to be snacking more, substitute healthy things in between the other stuff.   Actually dieting is not recommended during the early part of your quit journey.  Buy just a few temporary, attractive "fat clothes."  You will have extra energy AND money (maybe for a gym or a nutritionist) to come up with a weight loss plan when your quit is well in hand.  Your body is adjusting to life without the drugs, and it is normal for some weight gain from your metabolism slowing down.

40 pounds will probably not kill you; smoking definitely WILL!

Hang in there!

Nancy

[Jennifer-Quit]

Read this blog - I think it was written just for you!

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/xIndix-blog/2017/04/20/45-years

[elvan]

katherineu‌ I lost more than one quit because of weight gain...of course, I would go back to puffing away and then I would STILL have to bust my rear end because the weight did not magically melt away because I was smoking!  I have COPD now, I have had both of the upper lobes of my lungs removed, I am always short of breath.  I have severe degenerative disc disease, smoking is a risk factor for osteoporosis as are some of the inhalers I have to use every day.  I wear partial dentures, partly because my teeth broke off at the gum line or below from years and years of having to be on steroids AND SMOKING.  I did this to myself because I kept smoking...I certainly did not want to be fat...like carrying a little extra weight is worse than carrying an oxygen tank.  I don't THINK so.  I am repulsed when I look in the mirror too...my spine goes off at an angle and there is nothing that can be done to straighten it...sure was worth smoking over, wasn't it?  The money I had to spend on my partials was ridiculous and I still have severe dental issues that I cannot afford to address.  On the ten month anniversary of my quit, my house burned.  I lost all of my possessions, every photograph I had from when my kids were little, all of the things that were given to me by family members, most of all, I lost my three beloved cats to smoke inhalation.  Now, THAT might have been an excuse to smoke.  God knows I wanted that emotional pain to let up, it's been two years and 5 months since the fire...I am crying as I type this.  I will never get over it.  I will never get my fur babies back, I will never get the years I took off my life back, I will never get back the time I stole from my children so I could step outside to smoke.  Smoking will not do ANYTHING FOR you but I PROMISE you that it will insidiously do things TO you.  Your weight should be the least of your problems at this point.  Get some frozen fruit to snack on...eat less. move more.  I CAN'T work out like I used to because of the pain and the fragility of my body.  A friend of mine who was overweight overheard my daughter and I talking about how afraid we were that we would gain weight if we quit smoking.  We did not know she was there but she heard us agree that we would rather DIE from smoking related problems than be fat.  Wow, when I think of that now and I think of what it feels like to be gasping for breath because I kept smoking, I wish I could go back and smack myself in the head.  I am 67 now, my daughter is 46, neither one of us smoke any more and we both TRY to take care of ourselves by eating right and exercising.  Like me, she has rheumatoid arthritis and has already begun degenerative disc disease...don't be so shallow that you think that gaining a little weight is worth dying over.  I WAS and now I am paying the piper.  I will be paying until they cart my sorry butt away after I die.  Do you think your kids would rather have you smoking and killing yourself in front of them or would they rather see a strong woman getting her life together and being on a journey toward growing STRONGER?  Like YoungAtHeart‌ says, get some clothing that flatters your weight NOW, there are lots of things out there...they beat a shroud any day.  Don't let your addiction take control of you and convince you that a few pounds are worth taking how ever many years off your life. PLEASE value yourself enough NOT TO SMOKE!

Ellen

[llehrer222]

Wonderfully written. I think ours live story, past and present, could make us twin sisters. I relate 100%.

[katherineu]

Thank you for sharing your story and I am sorry to hear about everything you have gone through. I never struggled with the weight gain until today.  I was happily ignoring the weight gain until today.   I was going through all my clothes and can barely fit in them and I had a pity party melt down and nervous breakdown.  The only clothes that fit are my gym clothes.  Not one piece of regular clothing fits me and I have never been fat until now.  I need to get over my pity party, I'm sure it will before the day is over.

I don't have the urge to smoke but I thought well if it helps me lose this weight then get me a pack of cigarettes because the struggle real.  My doctor told me last week to not worry about and I should lose the weight I gained over time because I have an active lifestyle.  Easier said than done and all my blood work came back normal and my physical was fine.

I hope when I get past this dark mood I can encourage other people to ignore the weight gain, it just sucks because as I sit here in my too tight pants with flab hanging out everywhere is a reminder that this is the trade off, this is what I get for being a former smoker.   My mother has emphysema and still smokes, she is a daily reminder of why I quit.   She is in poor health and doesn't make an effort to quit, she might quit for a day or two but gets stressed and smokes again, I don't say anything because I'm still in shock she smokes and is on an inhaler, before too long its going to be the oxygen tank.  

I know I sound like an immature fool in the original post but I'm keeping it real and owning it.

[elvan]

katherineu‌ I have been struggling with how harsh I may have come across, I just really don't want you to lose your quit. It isn't easy, it is a slow and deliberate journey.  I have "fat" days, I am not overweight but I am short and I really have to watch my weight because of the added stress it puts on my joints and on my poor back.  There are pants I cannot wear because of my back, I started wearing stretch pull on pants to work because I can get them on and off without struggling.  I never expected to wear stretchy pants to work...to work out, yes,. but out in PUBLIC, NEVER.  My back has changed the way clothing fits and I have a muffin top on one side because of my twisted spine...I am a LOT older than you are, I get that, but body issues are body issues.  My doc told me that I would have to gain 200 lbs to do anywhere NEAR the damage to my body that I was doing by smoking.  Thomas3.20.2010‌ always has his statistics available and they are always right, he is the professor of EX, he does the research for the rest of us.  Oh, COPD can make you very thin as well.  I KNOW it's hard and I also know that sometimes we do not see ourselves the way we really are...sometimes I SEE fat that really is not there, I just get so obsessed with my weight, always have and I handed that down to two of my kids.  You are so much more important than a number on a scale.  I did not mean to dump on you but I can tell you are struggling and you need to not struggle about weight.  One of our members TerrieQuit‌ is currently on a hiatus but she told me something that has stayed with me...her therapist told her that everyone is allowed to feel sorry for themselves...for FIFTEEN MINUTES A DAY.  I can never make it to the full 15 minutes without laughing.  When you have a timer set for how long your pity party can last...it puts things into perspective.  I am so sorry that your mother doesn't get it, I hope she does before it is too late,  I have to sleep with oxygen on and I HATE it.  I am really, really glad that you came here and vented, really glad that you put those struggles out there because now you can move on.  I am proud of you, I hope that you will forgive my rather harsh response.

Ellen

[Sootie]

elvan‌ I thought your blog was fantastic. And I think you are so generous to share your story to help others. God bless you Ellen for your selflessness! It was real.....not harsh. Love you and hope today was a good day.