What a great question: "What do you think about readiness and what makes one ready?"
I think I was "ready" to quit each time I attempted it in the past. Though I had no on-line support group prior to this last current quit, 11 years ago, I spent the time getting my head together for each. But I attribute - TOTALLY - my current long-term success to on-line support. I can't credit EX for the beginning of it, as I quit two years before I came here and was in two other groups prior to EX. But it is through continuing participation in support that I have maintained my quit.
I've never termed any quit my "forever quit" because - well, that's just a little too much bravado that can come back to bite you, in my mind. I've seen too many who have made that statement to eat it later in humble pie. Aside from which the idea of "I'm gonna quit FOREVER" was much too daunting for my fragile quit head to handle.
First quit lasted about a year, next couple lasted about 3 months each. What made this quit different was that I really never wanted to go through that "readiness" period again. I just couldn't. I mean - it's AWFUL - that gearing up to quit. Seriously, we can all talk to newbies and be gung ho and say "attitude is everything" (and it IS!), but the reality is - it ain't a whole lot of fun. Even WITH a gung ho attitude. The attitude just helps you get through it faster with less sturm und drang. But there's still the sturm und the drang. lol
As someone said, it's easier to remain quit then it is to start all over again. And that's the TRUTH for me anyway. So I was ready - in that sense - to have a final quit experience. No more Day One's for me. Just - not gonna go there. 'Cause there's a part of me that knows if I ever give up this quit, I'll smoke for the rest of my life, because I don't have it in me - even with all that I now know - to find the necessary motivation to go through it all again. That's MY reality.
I think each of us will get to that point when we're "ready." Certainly a great part of becoming "ready" is through educating ourselves about the addiction and our particular relationship with it - OUR specific triggers, our specific weakness. But readiness also has to do with accepting the willingness to go through, to DO, whatever it takes to get to our point of no return. I hope I've reached that point.
But because I am still susceptible to the thought of smoking, to the craving that comes out of the blue, to the fact that I still love the smell of a freshly lit cigarette - because I am still vulnerable to it, I can't say "this is my forever quit." And perhaps BECAUSE of that awareness it WILL be my "forever" quit. If that makes any sense.
Readiness to quit does not necessarily mean readiness to quit forever. It just means were ready to take on the journey NOW. It is the on-going readiness to protect one's quit at all costs that ensures the longevity of the smoke-free journey.
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