Nothing positive to say

[Fraydenz]

I decided 30 years ago, after smoking for 5 years already, that if nothing else killed me, I would hope like hell smoking would. Well, 30 years later I kind of regret that, but it is coming true. I have a lump in my throat and every time I think I am going to quit smoking - which is every fucking day - I go and get a sugary alcoholic drink that acts like Dayquil so I can "enjoy" smoking another day. By which I mean I freak the F out and get booze and smokes instead of quitting.

Obviously this last few years has been hard on everyone. I thought about going to AA but I live in a Trump town. I know people in AA and they don't even believe the virus is a thing. So I huddle in my trailer waiting to die, while the treatment specialists consider anyone who wears a mask to be a 'tard'.

Anyway, as far as I know there is no help, because that would be socialist or something. I would pull myself up by my own bootstraps like I'm supposed to, but I can barely breathe.

It was said I should type my thoughts, so here they are. I don't generally speak to anyone because all I can offer is depression. 

Thanks.

[Maki]

Look for things to be grateful for ok . You have support here to quit . You have a home . You aren't alone with your depression , many are having a hard time , but there is hope and light . Take it day by day .. perhaps writing a gratitude list , continuing to post your thoughts , but always ending it with gratefullness might help . If you feel AA will help there is online Alcoholics anonymous . If you need help with your depression there must also be crisis or support lines in your area or speak with your doctor . Hang in there  . Reach out for help . Take the step . You won't regret it . 

[indingrl]

Thank YOU for sharing and YES quitting smoking SUCKS and YES quitting alcohol SUCKS and WANTING to quit BOTH SUCKS!!!!! 

EXcellent letting ALL YOUR TRUTH out it is FEARFUL facing the TRUTH a lump in YOUR throat using alcohol to EXcape - YET there is HOPE

Hearing

Other

Peoples

EXperience

H.O.P.E.

Quit smoking Quit-smoking basics - Mayo Clinic 

Dreams about smoking? 

SUGGESTIONS - is ONE day at a time - take it a MOMENT and a time throughout this DAY ONLY

blog BEFORE YOU take that first puff over YOU

Please know YOU are NOT alone and WE will support YOU as YOU gather YOUR personal QUIT TOOLS for STAYING a non smoker NO matter what NotOnePuffEver - n.o.p.e. - please take each MOMENT - ONE second at a time

https://www.theexprogram.com/ex-program/ 

Educate YOURself -  that was ONE of the SUGGESTIONS - given to ME in the beginning -  to read and read and read - to be equipped and being WILLING to get a -  NEW MINDSET and NEW ideas and NEW patterns and NEW heart thinking to learn - NEW ways of being responsible to learn -  NEW physical and emotional and mental and spiritual NEW WAYS to COPE with life on life's terms -  just for YOU and start living - YOUR NEW lifestyle as a NON SMOKER - Yahoooooo - and CONGRATS - I am SOOOOO glad for YOU learing how to give YOURSELF - a NEW body mind and spirit NEW life style - ONE day at a time - TOEGTHER WE WILL STAY NON SMOKER'S

Read and read just as MUCH as YOU did SUCKING ON DEATH STICKS - put as MUCH into YOUR NEW way of NON SMOKER living as YOU did into smoking and REMEMBER - educate YOURSELF just for YOU - no one can DO this for YOU - its all YOUR choice and YOUR decision and I believe YOU in you MY n.o.p.e. FAMILY friend

Coughing after quitting smoking: What's the deal? - Mayo Clinic 

Please blog and blog and blog - please give US time to respond - thank YOU

[sweetplt]

Hi and Welcome to Ex’s Fraydenz 

I am glad you found our site.  Yeah I think it is time to make some lifestyle changes.  Maki above me, made a good point...AA is online ... and here at Ex’s we are here to support and help you.  Nothing about addiction is good, but you can break the chains.  It takes hard work and telling yourself every morning, “Today I choose not to smoke because my life is more important than these addictions”...Might I suggest, you read at My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX and start to plan a quit date.  Honestly you need to plan for that day like no other...https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/RoseH/blog/2020/06/01/make-a-plan-to-quit?sr=search&search... You need to educate yourself on quitting and addiction.  You need to find other things to do other than smoking/drinking...You need to throw all your smoking paraphernalia out before your quit date.  You can do this...many of us, smoked over 30, 40 years so we know what you are going through on this journey.  Your life is depending on this quit...you sound angry...put that angry into your addictions and quitting them...it won’t be easy, but it will be doable....keep close to us...and yes write your feelings...now start with little things and be grateful for another day of Life...~ Colleen 784 DOF 

[JACKIE1-25-15]

The positive is that you found this site where you can have a voice and gain education about the addiction to nicotine.

The positive thing is that you had courage to talk about what is happening with you.

The positive thing is you can come here at anytime and we will support you.   

One day at a time is all you can do. 

Sometimes we have to take it by the minute.

Make the decision to save our own life.

You can do it.  Many of us here have. 

You can do it too. 

All things are possible if you change your mind and believe that you can. 

Never give up.

Welcome.

Hang around.

[MarilynH]

Welcome to the community please read everything you can because there's a wealth of information right here on this site to strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb permanently it's not easy by any stretch of the imagination BUT thankfully with commitment and perseverance you can do this quit believe it deep breaths and know that we're all here to help you in any way we can, I'm not very tech savvy so I'm going to mention YoungAtHeart and she'll do a welcome with links for you to read. Fraydenz

[Barbscloud]

Welcome to the Ex.  Glad you found us.  Do some reading and decide if this type of support will work for you.  We're here for you.

Barb

[anaussiemom]

Fraydenz Please seek out other resources as well.   A doctor would be a good start, in helping you with your path one small step at a time.

Many Blessings

Amen~ Kim

[Fraydenz]

I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought was that I have to delete my post immediately before anyone saw it. Toxic and all that. I see it's too late for that, and I was surprised to find all the helpful replies.

I had dismissed the idea of going to a doctor in my town because I figured that would be a great place to go get covid, which I am pretty sure would kill me. I think I have come to the point that I need to just risk it.

Anyway, sorry for the negative post, maybe some good will come of it.

I'm sitting in on AA online right now, which I had also given up on over the last year, along with everything else actually. Time to break out of that mentality.

[MarilynH]

Stay close Fraydenz post anytime you need to or just want to we're all here for you and we're rooting you on, don't apologize it's good to get your feelings out and we're sure living in some scary times right now I'm so glad that you didn't delete your post.....