Enlightened

[CathyC1332]

Here I am at 3 in the morning. I tripped over cigarettes.  Do I start a new quit date or just continue from where I was at and doing so well not smoking?  I want to pretend this never happened. But in a way I am glad it did happen now.  I stop and think how out of control I was and thinking a cigarette would help.  I think at that meltdown moment the only thing that would have helped me is a baseball bat to my head.  New years eve and I was crying because I hurt so bad. I went to bed and rested thinking sleep would help me focus. 2 hours later i get up determined i was going to go through the whole house to find one cigarette.  Well i did find some really old ones. Six to be exact and I smoked them all. Oh i felt like a new person. New years day i bought 2 packs. I think i can keep them just in case. Kinda like having a drink now and then.  A friend and i talked. Really a dumb idea.  So i am formulating a plan. I have to know to talk to myself when i get wild. I didn't come on here because my excuse no one can help talk me out of this. I should have read, read, and read some more in the conversations.   I bought the nicotine gum what are your thoughts on using it? Or the patches?  Or should I maybe talk to my doctor about getting an anxiety medication? Trade one addiction for another. I am not one who likes to take pills.  I just want to think these 2 days never happened and get back doing what I need to do. I have exercises. I think I am kind nuts because my surgery is in a few weeks. I am supposed to stop smoking. Oh my. Thank you all for being here.  I am just spilling my thoughts to you all.  I best go now. Until next time. Stay safe.

[meWisconsin]

Keeping cigarettes in the house "just in case" is a bad idea. Your brain knows they are available and it will fight you for them.

Make you quit plan and stick to it. You can do this. You know you can. Looking forward to hearing your success story.

Terry

Keep up the good quit

[YoungAtHeart]

You have learned an important lesson from this bad decision.  Now - just move forward.  My personal opinion is that you should reset your quit date.  If not, will the original date always have an asterisk by it in your mind?  Additionally, if there is no consequence, might it make it easier to do again?  Your brain sensors know that you gave them the drug, so it will take another three days for it to be out of your system, too

You should  run those two packs you bought under running water and squish them into the trash.  Keeping any around is just giving yourself permission to fail.

I think a talk with your doctor might be in order to explore options for either anti-anxiety medication or NRTs.   If you decide to use an NRT, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them.. For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time.

Glad you are ready to begin again!

[sweetplt]

CathyC1332 Don’t beat yourself up...learn from it...get rid of all smoking paraphernalia...do the work by reading the information we all provided to you...especially the parts about NRT’s...anyways, then start your journey over...there are two choices either you quit or you smoke...Choose to Quit...plan like your life depends upon it...because it does...You can do this...we are here for you...~ Colleen 761 DOF 

[Barbscloud]

Cathy, begin your journey again.  That fact that you're still here means you're committed to quitting.  Leaning how to do it may need refreshing.   This isn't  easy, so review your quit plan to see what you could have done different.  There is nothing wrong with using an aid to quit.  There are many successful quitters on this site that used NRT or medications.  I used Welbutrin and nicotrol inhalers and quit after 50 years of smoking.  If you choose an aid, follow the directions and you'll be fine.  We're here for you, so just reach out.  Having support can really make a difference, especially in the early days of quitting.

Barb

Here's some information I compiled on NRT.  

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/Barbscloud/blog/2020/02/01/nicotine-replacement-wrong-or-r... 

[maryfreecig]

I quit cold turkey and don't recommend it (smart turkey is another way to do it). I quit without support, but I did have a plan. You are so right to want to nail down an alternative plan to when you become "wild."  Having cravings doesn't just go away and most of us had to resort to our plans--what to do. I know I did. Didn't like it, but it worked.

For some nicotine replacement works perfectly well--for others the tie must be cut all at once. 

No matter what you use or not, quitting still requires behavioral change--especially at first. That's why NOPE is offered up here as a way to talk to yourself while you unlearn your addiction, relearn life.

You can do this, your quit, one day at a time.

[AnnetteMM]

If you hadn't found those cigarettes in the house you wouldn't be in this predicament now.

So don't make the same mistake again. Get rid of them!!!

[Giulia]

Regarding whether to start a new quit date  or not here are a couple of blogs on that very topic:  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2015/04/09/it-s-not-the-puff-it-s-the-permission   So if I “slip”, and have a cigarette, do I change my quit date?   /blogs/Storm.3.1.14-blog/2015/08/03/the-question-to-reset-or-not-to-reset   But then you've been here since 2015, right?  So perhaps you've already read them. 

The advice from those above me is spot on.  

"I didn't come on here because my excuse no one can help talk me out of this. I should have read, read, and read some more in the conversations."  I'm in total agreement with you.  No one CAN talk anyone else out of smoking if they are bound and determined to do so.  You're no dummy.  You know what your excuses are and you know what you need to do to secure a lasting quit through education and staying connected here.  You just need to figure out if you really want to pay attention to all that and really dedicate yourself to it.  Quitting takes a LOT of dedication.  Half-assed commitments produce half-assed quits that don't last long.  When I quit,  my "every day" was consumed with the struggle of it, of course, but also the unrelenting desire to figure out how to accomplish it.   And so I listened to everyone and absorbed everything and kept an open mind and experimented on techniques to help get me through cravings...but underlying all of that was a solid commitment with no excuses allowed.  Once we get rid of the excuses, we've got our forever quit.  I mean think about it.  If there is nothing in our minds that justify putting a cigarette in our mouth  - we won't.  Find that place within you and you will never have to go through another Day One.  Keep working at it.  Success comes to those who never give up.  

[CathyC1332]

 (But then you've been here since 2015, right?) .Being here is not the same as being here. I posted in 2015 and then went away and then came back and went away and now I am back  

(Half-assed commitments produce half-assed quits that don't last long.)  You are so right. I guess my commitments are half assed. I in all honesty don't want to quit smoking. In all honesty I do want to quit smoking.  I am struggling. And I hope the quit part wins.  I realize it is a day to day, hour to minute dedication.  I am willing to give it that. I am working on attitude change. This is really important to me to quit.  I know all the excuses, etc. etc. but I am going to stay here and work at what I need to work at. And hopefully it will click. I have a strong personality fighting me and it's a matter of who is going to win the battle. Lots of self talk.  I appreciate your comment.  It really helps me to look deeper inside me. Until later, new quit date, Stay safe.

[YoungAtHeart]

CathyC1332      I STRONGLY recommend the book,  "The Easy Way To Stop Smoking" by Allen Carr.  Never thought it was easy, even after reading the book, but he DOES give you a new perspective on the addiction.  I credit this change in mindset as one of the reasons I was successful in quitting on my first and only attempt at it.

It made a HUGE impact on how I thought about it.

Highly recommend it!

Nancy