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Give and get support around quitting

JuliePatricia
Member

Sadness about upcoming quit date.

My quit date is about 3 weeks away. It sounds crazy I'm sure. But the prospect of quitting makes me sad. I feel like I'm about to lose my biggest most reliable friend. The one who has always been there for me no matter what.   

14 Replies

It doesn’t sound crazy at all. Perfectly normal.

Cousin-Itt
Member

A lot of people feel that way.  Ask yourself how good of a friend do you have when all they do is take;

Read / Learn as much as you can and ask questions  Being prepared makes quitting a little easier

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

A lot of people here reported feeling grief as they gave up the one thing that was always there for them, whether they were sad, or happy, lonely or celebratory.  But - REALLY give this some thought!  Would you stay friends with someone who asked for your hard-earned money, to the point where you would rather give it to them than use it for other activities?  They gave you a hit of dopamine - yes - but also contributed to hardening of arteries, osteoporosis, COPD, heart attacks, strokes, tooth loss, alienation, loss of time with loved ones.  Cigarettes are NOT your friend.  You CAN learn to deal with your emotions and what life throws at your without them ----- and you will be FAR better off in the long run.  You CAN learn to live very happily without them.  Read the stories of the successful folks here and you will see!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.”    You can search for it online or at your local library.  Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

 

Let me know if you decide to use a quit aid and I will give you my thoughts on them.

 

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! .  Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. You might visit “Games”: https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/games. The active ones are at the top of the list going down the left side of the homepage.   Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...


The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.


Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

sweetplt
Member

JuliePatricia Nope it doesn’t sound crazy...our addiction is a very toxic relationship...and it is good to write a “goodbye letter”... we really aren’t losing anything, but in the beginning we do feel like we are losing ourselves by quitting smoking.  Before you quit in 3 weeks, start to plan for your quit day by reading at My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX  Also, read posts here and respond by becoming familiar with addiction and quitting.   We are here to help...it isn’t an easy road, but it is doable...I quit 2 years after 30 plus years of smoking...by planning, becoming knowledgable in addiction and the support of Ex’s...keep close to us...Colleen 747 DOF 

elvan
Member

Sounds normal to those of us who are addicted to nicotine.  There are so many blogs here that you can read, please take YoungAtHeart‌'s advice and do the reading she suggested.  You have three weeks to make a plan and to educate yourself about this addiction and the power it has over you.  Friends don't slowly kill you while you are counting on them...I quit many times before this time and I have over 6 1/2 years now...almost 7 because of this site and the support I got here.  It was absolutely a lifesaver for me.

Welcome to EX,

Ellen

Thesegoto11
Member

The negatives far outweigh the positives.

Sootie
Member

Take a moment to read Cousin-Itt‌ blog  post which appears right above yours talking about "bad" relationships (Would You Stay). Please don't be sad about leaving this horrible addiction behind. You CAN do this....we all did and we are no different from you. It is one of the best feelings in the world to be free from the pull of smoking. I want you to experience that so STAY STRONG!

Barbscloud
Member

Welcome to the Ex.  Congrats on your decision to quit.  It's understandable that we see quitting as losing our best friend.  Every activity and emotion is associated with smoking.  Try focusing on what you're gaining instead of what you're losing.  Educate yourself about nicotine addiction and create a quit plan.  These two steps will make quitting possible for you.   It takes work, but the quitters on this site are proof that it can be done.   We're here to support you, so just reach out anytime.  Looking forward to celebrating with you in 3 weeks.

It's the best decision you can make for yourself.

Barb

maryfreecig
Member

Many, many, many have successfully quit smoking no matter how sad or upset. I'm one of them. That was over 7 years ago. I can't tell you how glad I am that I did not give my feelings full reign over my quit. You can do this--one day at a time. And welcome to Ex!

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2020/12/02/have-a-game-plan 

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2020/11/12/the-willpower-paradox-usi... 

Getting Better 

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/newbie-quitters/blog/2019/01/27/one-of-the-greatest-tools-... 

https://quittinthesmokes.blogspot.com/  my own story--google blog since 2014