yum!
thnx.
i wouldn't know where to readily find juniper berries anyway.
ha. 
I had this same kind of day yesterday, and I am eight+ years quit! I think this pandemic and its isolation are taking a toll on us all - and you are also QUITTING SMOKING! I admire the heck out of you for that!!!
I reminded myself today that this pandemic, too, is a one day at a time project. I was already sad about Christmas being ruined - and needed to remind myself that I should not be worrying about that yet!
Hang in there - this WILL get easier; this WILL get better and your angst WILL end - I promise.
And, just think, when that happens, you will have the added bonus of not being a smoker anymore!!!!
Hey Barbscloud.
Simply put, I think for me it boils down to self-love. When I begin to be mean to myself, talk ugly to myself, berate myself about this or that weight gain, too much sleep, too little sleep, not walking dog, not performing (in life) to my full capacity, not doing this or that or whatever...when I talk hurtfully to me, pretty soon thereafter I want to smoke.
Smoking stopped me from feeling on many levels. Ya'll know. It was more than a Band-aid. It was a cover, a lead vest, a shield. It worked to keep me away from me. And now, here I am. And I have a long way to go until I like what's here.
I can't say it more simply or pleasantly than that. So I'm learning, as ya'll have, to deal with me. To listen to me. To embrace me. To comfort me. To care for me...RATHER THAN SMOKE.
Thank you for asking. Really, really appreciate you. ((((((O))))))
If l talked to anyone else the way l talk to myself, l would probably be dead. A lot us struggle with how we treat ourselves.
You are so open, that is a very good thing!
Ellen
