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Give and get support around quitting

Quitting is Such a Slippery Slope

I had vaped for around 6 years.  I loved it and was vaping openly until three years ago, my wife told me I needed to quit.  I threw all my devices, batteries, and juice in the trash and decided I was done. That lasted about 4 months with one slip up and then it all started again.  I vaped in secret for about 10 months until I was caught by my wife and she forced me to throw the stuff away.  I immediately went out and bought another device and used it until I decided to quit on my own.  I went cold turkey again for another 4 months and started back again. (Relapse number 2) Another 10 months later, my wife got pregnant and I decided to research support groups and found the Ex Community and it has helped tremendously.  I set my quit date and quit for what I thought was “for good”.  I am now about 9 months after my quit date, I had been quit for exactly 275 days.  During that time, we’ve had a baby, been socially distanced, and have feared The effects of COVID-19.  Also, I quit when EVALI first became big news because this “safe” alternative that I had been using for 5 years was no longer safe.  I recently saw a few triggers on TV but was able to put those out of my mind or I had thought.  I then had a dream.  In the dream, I went out and bought a new device and started vaping again.  I felt horrible about it until I woke up and realized it was just a dream.  That dream stuck with me and two days ago, I faced a moment of weakness.  I went out and bought another device with reward points I had stored up at my vape shop. I took that device and vaped on the way home.  After I got home, I felt horrible and decided to throw the device down a storm drain.  Then the cravings got worse. Yesterday I went out and bought another device and used it a few times yesterday.  I came back on here and decided that giving myself permission to vape is a terrible decision.  This morning, I woke up and threw my device into a pond behind my house.  My fear now and that I’ll find a way to go back out and buy another device tomorrow or the next day or the next. How do I keep from wasting money and time on this stuff?  Also, I can’t believe I slipped.  I have so much anger and guilt wrapped up into this now and part of me wants to vape to get rid of the guilt (an addict’s brain is so logical sometimes). 

16 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

 

You keep going back because you are listening to the addict within!  Those brain sensors LIKE the hit they get from nicotine, and will make you uncomfortable and anxious until you provide it.  You are an addict and so must make up your mind that you are not going to vape again NO MATTER WHAT.  Make the decision and then honor it each and every day for the rest of your life!!!!

Although primarily a smoking cessation site, I have seen a huge increase in the number of people coming for help to break free from vaping. You will need to substitute “vape” or “device” as you do the reading I will recommend. Research suggests nicotine may be as addictive as heroin and cocaine. Because vaping is available to you most anywhere, anytime, I believe it might be more difficult from which to break free than regular tobacco products - but it CAN be done!

 

Considering vaping to be “safe” is far from a given - there is much research to be done. What we know is that vaping raises your blood pressure and spikes your adrenaline, which increases your heart rate and the likelihood of having a heart attack. There are many unknowns about vaping, including what chemicals make up the vapor and how they affect physical health over the long term. Recently vaping has been in the headlines because of the possibility of it causing severe lung damage in young people. An August, 2019 study at the University of Pennsylvania showed that a single instance of vaping immediately lead to reduced vascular function: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/08/190820101601.htm I am glad you have decided to seek our help to break free! It isn't easy – but it IS doable!

Nicotine addiction is nicotine addiction - no matter the delivery device - and how to beat any of them is about the same. Every time you read :"cigarette" in the information I will give you, just sub "Juul" or “vape,” or “device.”   The one thing different I would recommend is that you first start to reduce the nicotine content of the pods.  Start with a lesser amount in, like, one in every four, then three, etc. until you are only using the smallest amount, or reduce the amount of nicotine in the pods over time. That way the physical withdrawal should be more manageable. You might find useful information, as well, here: https://truthinitiative.org/research-resources/quitting-smoking-vaping/quitting-e-cigarettes.

 

I recommend that you educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind To that end, I suggest Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” . Vaping was not a concern when this was written, so you will need to sub “vape”as necessary. This is an easy and entertaining read which can be found online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

 

 After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time.

 

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each device use, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each use off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a puff just because you think you do

 

The idea is to change up your routines so the vaping associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from where you vaped. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first puff with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to vape so the view is different. Take a different route when you are out and about so you aren't driving by your vaping supply shop. Take a quick walk at break time instead of vaping.


You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that vaping thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of vape if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...


The conversation in your head in response to the "I want to vape" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

 

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

maryfreecig
Member

Thanks for telling your quit story--what has gone well for you, what hasn't. One of the hardest ideas to appreciate about quitting is that it is done one day at a time. You deal with yourself/and vaping thoughts (nicotine dependency) just for today. By doing this, the days add up and you learn to cope with the ups and downs of life without associating vaping (drug use). You already know how not to vape by being strict...that works...and by adding to that strategy another layer--learning to cope without vaping--you get mentally and emotionally stronger one day at a time. 

You made such a wise choice to get help. There are loads of quitters here who understand exactly what you are talking about. You definitely do not have to be alone with what might seem like crazy thinking. Everything you said made perfect sense to me and will to plenty of Exers. Stick around--read, learn, blog, comment. Welcome to Ex.

/blogs/oldbones-larry/2020/05/08/two-sides 

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/AnnetteMM/blog/2019/09/08/how-to-quit-juul-or-vaping-in-ge... 

/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2019/08/05/give-this-the-time-it-takes 

AnnetteMM
Member

I love that you came here. I vaped and quit too. And you did it right, by throwing out all the stuff. But man you sure are spending a lot of money, aren't you? You really need a plan for those triggers. I get them whenever I see smoking on TV or a movie. It's tough. How about a go-to thing for those times? Tootsie Pop, Twizzlers, straws, anything you can chew on for a minute. Or keep your hands busy with something. During this Covid-19 stay at home time I've been crocheting up a storm. Must be something you like to do besides vape!

Barbscloud
Member

Welcome to the Ex and congrats on your decision to quit.   Most of us have had numerous attempts, so guilt and anger won't really help.  I'm glad you found the Ex, but stay close this time and reach out if you need support or want to share you're journey.  That's what we're here for. Did you create a quit plan?   A part of that plan are the tools you'll use when you have a craving and the new associations you've created instead of vaping.   It is a stressful time, but there will always be stressors in our lives.  You can do this one day at a time.

Barb

I need to update my quit plan but overall, it’s what helped me with my last quit.  These past two days almost seem like someone took over my body.  Thinking back now, I feel like that wasn’t even me buying and vaping that stuff.  

Barbscloud
Member

mattchapman586   Yea, that's the addiction talking.  We're able to block out what we know we should do.  That's the time to reach out to the Ex and get support from the community.  It's just enough time to distract you from the craving.  I also would just walk out the door and go for a few blocks-it helped me to refocus my thoughts.

Keep moving forward.

Bar

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maryfreecig
Member

Addiction and dependency can lead anyone of us to drift if we deal with everything all alone. In my opinion, this is why staying close to a quit crowd like Ex is so important.  

CommunityAdmin
Community Manager
Community Manager

mattchapman586‌ Thanks for coming here and sharing your story.  I appreciate how raw it was.

When you're ready to quit again. please ensure that you update your quit date by clicking on My Quit Plan and then log out of the community and back in to re-sync it.

Lastly, please ensure that you properly dispose of vaping devices in the future. Throwing them in the storm sewer or a pond isn't good for wildlife. Think about the beautiful new baby you have as well.  Please be responsible. A hammer, with safety glasses might be a good way to destroy it and then properly dispose in e-waste.  Here is some other inspiration and some more.

Mark
EX Community Manager

EX Community Admin Team
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Giulia
Member

Welcome, Matt.  Until you once and for all close the door on the option to vape that pesky voice is going to be your bug-a-boo.  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2020/03/02/the-option   You might stick your nose in the Relapse Prevention‌ group.  Some material in there might hit you in just the right way.  

"an addict’s brain is so logical sometimes"  You're absolutely right.  An addict can ALWAYS come up with a reason to justify engaging in their drug of choice.  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2013/08/12/understanding-excuses?sr=search...‌  

I can't say I ever wanted to quit.  I just knew I should.  I had to find the key.  That emotional  'thing' that I wanted more than smoking.  When I finally got tired of going through another Day One, that was the key that unlocked my forever quit.  I want more than anything to never go back to the beginning of this journey.  It's a lot more fun a ways down the trail.  

You obviously want to rid yourself of vaping.  It has to become a priority in your life and you have to stick with it.  All your focus has to be attuned to it.  It takes that much energy and attention because it's THAT strong of an addiction.  You can conquer it.  Think of it as a magnificent challenge.