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Give and get support around quitting

Havetoquitnow
Member

Starting Over

Well, I went 4 days and talked myself into buying a pack. I smoked almost the whole pack last night and this morning. I am starting over again right now. I am very disappointed in myself  I feel like a complete failure....again.  

14 Replies
Karen333
Member

You are not a failure. Dust yourself off and do it again. What happened that made you buy a pack? Please come to this site first if you feel helpless. We can help talk you down off that ledge!  Also, have a quit plan ready for when another strong urge happens , because it will. You have to be boss over the craving!  Deep SLOW breathes, and read as much as you want on this site!  It really does help. You said you smoked 1/2 a pack- if you threw them away, take them out of the trash and run them under the faucet, or put them in a jar of water and watch what happens to them day after day. It won't be pretty. Imagine what it's doing to your insides.  Mind over matter- you CAN do this!

marciem
Member

Hi Havetoquitnow‌ !  The failure would be not getting back on the quit right away, so no failure.  Just a nice trial run, now you're ready for the real thing, ok?

Firstly, there's a reason week one is called Hell Week.  It isn't easy.  Your addicted mind will argue with you constantly if you let it.  I personally found day four to be the worst.  That's when your body has rid itself of most of the nicotine and it starts SCREAMING, not nagging but SCREAMING for more.  In my experience, anyways.

The only way through is through, you can't get around it, period.  So take smoking off the table as an option.  Make a plan. Analyze what made you think it was a good idea to go buy a pack, and figure out what you will do next time when that happens.  Keep it simple.  Deep breathing is good, concentrate on the breathing not the craving.  Coming here and posting your troubles also is good, let us talk you down from smoking again.  Exercise is good.  If you can't get out for a walk, some jumping jacks or running in place can help.  Distract your mind if you can.

You can do this!!  Looking forward to watching you grow a strong healthy quit!  

Barbscloud
Member

Heck, but don't feel like a failure.   For most of us, it's part of the process.  Getting right back on track is so important.  Learn something from your quit to help you be successful.  Come here before you smoke, not after.  That's what we're here for.


Barb

maryfreecig
Member

Many, many successful quitters have been where you are. Addiction to nicotine is a powerful but not all powerful!!! You're here--bothering to start again--good for you!!!  Hope you  know that Ex is here for you. When urges come on know that they will pass. We really do learn to live smober--it doesn't come naturally in a few days. 

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2020/05/12/practice-makes-perfect 

sweetplt
Member

No no no...do not feel like a failure...in fact don’t beat yourself up...except for not coming here and posting us that you were going to buy a pack of smokes...always let us help talk you down first, then it can be your choice.  It is good you are getting back in the journey.  May I suggest, you read again My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX and here is a list of things to do instead of smoke.../blogs/Maggie_quit_8-1-2010-blog/2012/03/19/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoking?sr=search&searchId=6... Keep close to the support site...Happy Saturday ...~ Colleen 530 DOF 

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Learn from your mistakes.  Remember you can talk your self out of something just as well. https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/newbie-quitters/blog/2019/01/27/one-of-the-greatest-tools-... 

Here is a very short list of What to do

#1 Analyze what caused you to smoke. 

#2 Make a vow that you will not smoke if it happens again

#3  Get rid of all smoking materials it lessens the chances of being tempted. 

#4  Have a plan for what to do differently when you have the urge to smoke.

#5101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke

#6  Start over with a commitment that NOPE no matter whatQuit Date - How to Reset 

#7 "Keep it Simple"...

#8  Don't make EXcuses UNDERSTANDING EXCUSES

#9  Education is the key to a successful quit!

Maki
Member

You can't smoke what you don't have .. and if you have em you smoke em . 

So glad they are done with , you learned , now on we go . 

Please post before you smoke , or even before you go out so we have an opportunity to help each other or ..

Make a pact with a friend you won't smoke , until  you talk to them . I'm sure that would help too . 

I am so glad you are trying again . That's the spirit . 

You can do it . Proud of you . 

elvan
Member

You have gotten some great advice above.  Please don't beat yourself up, that's not going to help.  Try to figure out what went wrong and plan what you should do if you are faced with it again.  Stay close to the site and call out if you need help...give us a chance to talk you down.

You can do this, one day at a time.

Ellen

minihorses
Member

Oh, no. I'm sorry. Please don't tell yourself you can't. You've proven you can!

First, I'd make the word 'failure' off limits. 

Many times what we perceive as an error or failure is actually a gift. And eventually we find that lessons learned from that discouraging experience prove to be of great worth.     

Richelle E. Goodrich

An old adage but it is so true.  I think the majority of Ex-ers, including myself by far, have had failed quits. Every time we smoked again we felt angry, sorry and defeated.  We knew we would have to go through withdrawal again and this one slip gets misdirected to a 'I'll never be able to quit.  I failed too many times".  YOU didn't smoke for 4 days! YOU did it, not someone else. YOU were willing to put in the work and started doing so. YOU came back to Ex and blogged about it so you reached out to hundreds or thousands of people in varying in their quits. 

See, you did more right than you did wrong!  Put Mr. Nicodemon on a target board and let the arrows fly!  You can do it, you just have to work at it every single day.  Even now after over 600 days I've wanted a cigarette.  I still had to go through the work to giving in.  It gets better but ya gotta believe in yourself enough to quit again.