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Give and get support around quitting

Swanbird
Member
‎01-07-2020 07:30 PM

three weeks

It's been three weeks tomorrow and I am doing great except that I am no fun at all anymore.  I can't seem to even go out for a drink with my friends.  As soon as I have a drink I want to smoke.  I'm getting depressed about it.  I have done gone out and had several and not smoked but it is such a huge struggle!  When am I going to get over this feeling??!!

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7 Replies
marciem
Member
‎01-07-2020 09:06 PM

The "when" is up in the air, Swanbird‌ ... everyone is different.  Just know that it WILL get better!   Just because you joined the nonsmoking brigade does not mean you jumped off the fun-mobile forever.   .   

Three weeks is a TREMENDOUS accomplishment, it really is!! 

However, in the grand scheme of things it is a short time compared to the length of time you smoked, am I right?  You will not get over those smoking years in a day or three weeks.  But you WILL get over them and it won't take years.  Hang on, maybe forgo or severely limit drinking for the short term, and if you do drink, have an escape plan so that if you feel you're going to smoke, you can vacate the environs and do something else quickly without smoking.

One comment though... you've faced the demon with drink in hand, looked it in the eye and didn't smoke... so it will possibly get easier now.  Just always be prepared for it to NOT be easy.  As I said, have a plan, and stick with it so that drinking doesn't make you lose your mind AND your quit.  (drinking is probably the #1 quit-killer I've seen on quit-smoking sites)

Swanbird
Member
‎01-08-2020 10:24 PM
In response to marciem

Your comments helped me today too.  I thought about them all day.  Thank you.

Giulia
Member
‎01-08-2020 02:07 AM

This was my response to myself when I had questions like yours:  Does it matter?  Does it matter, ultimately how long it takes for me to feel comfortable, happy with my choice?  Does it matter how long it takes for me to get over this feeling of ...incompleteness...this never-ending hollow feeling in my gut?  And my answer to myself was:  "No."  BECAUSE I said to myself "I won't smoke, no matter what."  And "no matter what" means all the discomfort that I have to go through  because I've chosen to quit smoking - no matter what.  If you read the blogs of the Elders here you will read the same mindset.  Whether it's SINAO, or NOPE, or NADO or "keep them away from your face"... the question of whether to smoke or not is taken off the table.  Because the decision has been made, the option to not smoke chosen.  So the "when am I going to get over this feeling" becomes ultimately unimportant.  When you accept the choice to not smoke and when you have made up your mind https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/newbie-quitters/blog/2020/01/07/it-takes-a-made-up-mind  that constant "when am I going to get over this.." ceases to drive you crazy.

You're going to get over this when you get over it.  The question you need to ask and answer for yourself is:  are you willing to continue on the path for as long as it takes - or not?  If you say "no" - how successful do you think you'll be in this journey ahead?  

sweetplt
Member
‎01-08-2020 08:22 AM

I felt the same in the early part of my quit...for months I didn’t do much of anything except home and crafts....it changed when I felt stronger in my quit...believe me it happens, but it takes time...don’t lose yourself ... do things you can now especially taking care of YOU...and in time you will be back to the New Real YOU....3 weeks quit is super...~ Colleen 401 DOF 

Swanbird
Member
‎01-08-2020 10:21 PM
In response to Giulia

Your comments really helped me today.  I went to dinner had a drink and was okay!  Thank you, I just kept thinking what you said!

maryfreecig
Member
‎01-08-2020 04:28 PM

Keep your priorities straight. It's easy to romance the smoking life early on. Don't let your thinking walk you to a slip or a relapse, slap it away, remember your goal. You made a decision to quit for a good reason and now you are achieving it. That is AWESOME! Congrats. 

Give yourself a very good chunk of time to grow some deep roots into your smobriety. 

Reward yourself in other ways for now. Yes you can, one day at a time.

Great reads by Exers regarding staying on the quit path:

/blogs/Marilyn.H.July.14.14.-blog/2019/09/30/its-bound-to-take-time-to-relearn-life  by Marilyn

/blogs/oldbones-larry/2019/10/05/desolation-point  by Larry

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/newbie-quitters/blog/2019/01/27/one-of-the-greatest-tools-...  by Jackie