BRUTAL

[Pookweencess]

My addiction is sending me VERY brutal cravings today. I believe it is because it is the anniversary of my Moms death and the day I watched her take her last breath.  How much more must I freakin endure with these cravings?  Can I please have some relief after 5 months. I feel like I am about to lose my quit.  I know I sound like a broken record which makes me wonder did I ever really want to quit- I honestly am just beyond frustrated with this process and am moments away from driving to the store- I hate these damn demon sticks 

[Legend]

I hope you are feeling better today. Keep hanging in there please don’t smoke you can get through this.

Here is a great blog to read by Jackie.

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/newbie-quitters/blog/2019/10/21/wait

[Barbscloud]

Good morning.  Sorry, I'm just reading this. I hope you're feeling better today.  I thought in your last post you were starting to feel better.  Sorry it's taking you so long.  I'm repeating myself I know, but the emotional part of quitting lasted along time for me.  The passing of loved one is not a reason to smoke--if it were at my age, I'd have many  dates to end my quit.   Honor the day by continuing your quit.  Always check in when you're feeling this way.  Sending caring thoughts your way.

Barb

[maryfreecig]

The link below is to a 53 minute video made by a hospice worker. Though it is titled good grief--the title does not do the talk justice-- it is really about all grief-- including incompletion, what we hoped to get and did not, and loss of all kinds. I hope you take the time to watch it. 

As quitters, many of us cling to the idea, for a while, that the smoking life that was, is what we are meant to have. I know I had to learn how to care about how I feel rather than run to something to change it. That was tough, because I'd never really done that before. Relearning life, so Ex calls it. And that's the cure--so keep up the good work, keep moving forward.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxSd8f2Utpk&list=WL&index=108&t=0s

[indingrl]

 I watched this video like YOU SUGGESTED for dealing with losses of ALL of life's losses was too much for ME ALL at once and from a PROFESSIONAL who deals with CANCERS at a hospice - grieving from CANCERS in children to adult cancers and all losses of life was TOO much for ME - when I am just TRYING to LEARN how to COPE with ME not SUCKING on death sticks- ONE day at a time - YIKES  - It was so overwhelming for ME - please not talking about ANYONE else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - thank you - for ME - just dealing with MY emotionalism and mentalism and learning how to live one day at a time without my crutch NICOTINE is grief enough for ME -  any other issues that are shared by NICOTINE ADDICTS - I SUGGEST -  what was said to ME - to seek a PROFESSIONAL therapist for other issues - just SUGGESTING - that WE stick to NICOTINE solution videos -since WE are RECOVERING NICOTINE ADDICTS site and maybe just SUGGESTING-  NICOTINE solutions I understand it HELPED YOU - yet for a newbie - or NML - don't YOU think it maybe too much INFO all at once coming from a HOSPICE center- just asking please don't be offended - thanks for letting ME SHARE -

[maryfreecig]

Thanks for speaking up. But I will keep posting the video when I think it would be helpful. From my perspective if grief is making someone feel like smoking, then addressing the grief is addressing an addiction issue. I'm not offended. If we can't talk to one another, something would be missing. Sorry it rattled your emotions--would a hug help? Because I'm sending one.

[Giulia]

I love that video and have passed it on.  It's very helpful to some of us.  Others, not so much.  Each to their own.  Take what you like and leave the rest.  I gobbled it up.

[Gwenivere]

Thank you so much maryfreecig for posting the grief link.  Having barely survived the holidays without my husband this was most helpful.  

[Margaretd]

How about trying something different.  Instead of fighting with these cravings, start a relationship with them.  You know they are going to come every 20 minutes (if newly quit) and (out of the blue) for a longer quit.  The crave gets power from us when we react in anger, fear or startle.  How about for the next few craves, look at them differently.

When they come, embrace them.  Tell yourself, this crave simply means your addiction is getting scared.  It wants to be fed and you are not doing that.  How about, when the crave comes, experience it, every bit of it. Lean into it instead of running from it.

Just try it - a crave is nothing more than a physical sign you are successful in your quit today. 

[Legend]

I hope you are doing ok today. I’m putting some music here to distract you from thinking about smoking. This is one thing that I do to get my mind on something else I go over to youtube and listen to music. I hope you like it. 

Chicago - Saturday In The Park (Live on SoundStage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHPz-OcjH8s

[Christine13]

I hope you are doing better today.  Loosing a Mom is so tough I'm sure.  I don't know about that loss yet, but I lost my husband almost 2 years ago over the holidays and it's darn tough.  So glad you didn't go out for cigarettes to numb your pain.  I'm just trying to feel my emotions and grief is one powerful emotion.  You are 5 months quit, and your mom would be so very proud of you.

xo