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Give and get support around quitting

Pookweencess
Member

BRUTAL

My addiction is sending me VERY brutal cravings today. I believe it is because it is the anniversary of my Moms death and the day I watched her take her last breath.  How much more must I freakin endure with these cravings?  Can I please have some relief after 5 months. I feel like I am about to lose my quit.  I know I sound like a broken record which makes me wonder did I ever really want to quit- I honestly am just beyond frustrated with this process and am moments away from driving to the store- I hate these damn demon sticks 

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19 Replies
Giulia
Member

Please don't drive to the store.  You've suffered a long time and worked so hard for this quit.  Replay the Relapse‌  Your mother's passing is a HUGE trigger.  But you don't have to act on that trigger.  Don't sit there and dwell in the well of smoking thoughts.  They'll drown you for sure.  

You don't have to want to quit to remain so.  I didn't want to quit.  But after I did, I didn't want another day one, more.  THAT's what I wanted.  I wanted to never have another Day One.  And I knew if I smoked I would just repeat and repeat and repeat.  You don't have to want to quit, you just have to accept your choice.  You have to keep agreeing to get through the tough times.  EACH time.  

Don't forget to BREATHE.  And do everything you can to get out of your head.  It's messing with you.  Stay true to that Best of you.  You will only regret it if you go to that store.  And tomorrow you'll awaken smiling less than you are now.

Beautiful Inner Self Pink.jpg

Pookweencess
Member

Oh my gosh I am in tears over here.  THANK YOU for this beautiful reminder and for reaching out to help me.  My heart is full of gratitude and I promise to you, myself and to my Mom not to get in that car.  I am just so exhausted from having to work so hard for this.  You are an Angel and I thank you from my heart

marciem
Member

Don't give up before the miracle, Pookwee... it WILL happen.  Let the waves carry you to shore, don't let the battle exhaust you.  Ease and grace will come if you let them in.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom, Mom's are so hard to lose and we never forget.  Celebrate having had her for a Mom on this anniversary, not the sadness of her passing.  Change your mind so you can change your life and feelings.

Barbara145
Member

Sounds like you are feeling better.  I never thought I would quit.  I did not want to quit.  I smoked for 52 years.  I sucked it up.  It has been 6 years since I quit.  I am still growing from all those years of smoking.  There is nothing that would make me want a cigarette.  You will get there.  You are doing great.

Pookweencess
Member

I smoked 46 years and I never want to smoke again but must admit this is the hardest thing I have ever done.  Thank you so much for the support

Giulia
Member

This is the hardest thing most of us have ever done. You're not alone.

Giulia
Member

Oh, phew, I'm SO GLAD you didn't go to that store!  I know it's exhausting fighting this monster.  I KNOW because I've been there.  It gets easier but it seems sometimes to take so darn long.  But if you don't hang in through the darn long times, you will never experience the joy of the freedom from this addiction.  That doesn't mean there aren't going to be days that are going to slap you in the gut with craving.  This is an addiction.  That's just "what so."  Ya know?  You have accept those days and those slaps upside the head.  Think if as part of this rite of passage to freedom.  But once you become more and more accustomed to the jolt, you say, "Ah, yes, I get it.  It's one of THOSE moments."  And you learn, through experience, that it's not going to kill you, you don't have to act on the impulse, and you become more and more adept at being able to surf the wave and move on to the next thought.  To TURN your mind somewhere (anywhere) else.  I've learned, through this journey, the skill of turning my mind away from dwelling in the wells of negative, nasty, depleting, sad thoughts.  I can't do it all time, every time, but I'm getting better and better at it with practice.  It just takes practice.

Keep practicing.  I want to be able to put you on our Elder's List!  

beazel
Member

It may seem like 5 months is a long time, but when we look at the time/years we smoked you are still in the beginning of your quit.

Yes it's hard, but it's possible. Hang in there. Please.

ClearColors
Member

I am so sorry about the loss of your Mom.

We get triggers and you did great to post.

You are working your quit.

You post as much as you need to. This is a nasty addiction.

I used to post a lot..

Breathe deeply from your diaphgram and slowwly release

AGAIN Breathe deeply

Putting on my steel toed combat boots and handing you yours

Let's stomp on those craves.

ewww I see it slithering away.

sip water

Toasting my water to you.

Again I am so sorry for your loss.

HUGS!!

Holidays can be very hard

Sending you extra good thoughts

I believe you have an angel with you.