Discussion created by jamieroden1 on Nov 21, 2019
Latest reply on Nov 23, 2019 by Youngatheart.7.4.12

This is sort of a rant, kind of confusing, so i apologize in advance. For me, it's not the withdrawals that get me. I get zero physical symptoms. I'm fine. It's my brain that is the problem. I like smoking. I enjoy my time alone outside. I figured out why it's so hard, the problem is figuring out a way to get out of that mindset. I miss it. I have read stories of people that are happy and dont ever want another, and then I've read stories of people who are years smoke free and still want one daily. What is the difference in these people? It makes me happy. I understand that it's the effect of the dopamine, but how do I avoid it? I dont really have anyone to talk to about it because most people I know who smoke dont really want me to quit because then it would effect them. They do for health reasons of course, but deep down, they dont want to be the only ones left. I understand that, but it just sucks bc they are capable of being only so supportive. I'm not sure they would even admit that because it sounds terrible. I'm not close to anyone that has quit. I guess I do want to but I'm wondering if I do deep deep down. Tonight was a slip. I knew it would be as soon as I got up this morning. But i dont want to give up. But i also dont want to be miserable. I just dont know how to get a handle on it. I know it's better on the other side. I wish I could make smoking a cigarette a miserable experience, but I dont know how! I know all the health facts, i have all the reasons, I've read the book and a million articles and stories. I've done my research and tried all the tricks. I have to find a way to get my brain on board. I need help, but i dont know what kind or where to get it. I dont want to spend my life torturing myself by quitting a million times. I just want to be done. I feel so confused and conflicted and guilty. Its all mental, I know. But I dont how to control it