Brainwashing

[jamieroden1]

This is sort of a rant, kind of confusing, so i apologize in advance. For me, it's not the withdrawals that get me. I get zero physical symptoms. I'm fine. It's my brain that is the problem. I like smoking. I enjoy my time alone outside. I figured out why it's so hard, the problem is figuring out a way to get out of that mindset. I miss it. I have read stories of people that are happy and dont ever want another, and then I've read stories of people who are years smoke free and still want one daily. What is the difference in these people? It makes me happy. I understand that it's the effect of the dopamine, but how do I avoid it? I dont really have anyone to talk to about it because most people I know who smoke dont really want me to quit because then it would effect them. They do for health reasons of course, but deep down, they dont want to be the only ones left. I understand that, but it just sucks bc they are capable of being only so supportive. I'm not sure they would even admit that because it sounds terrible. I'm not close to anyone that has quit. I guess I do want to but I'm wondering if I do deep deep down. Tonight was a slip. I knew it would be as soon as I got up this morning. But i dont want to give up. But i also dont want to be miserable. I just dont know how to get a handle on it. I know it's better on the other side. I wish I could make smoking a cigarette a miserable experience, but I dont know how! I know all the health facts, i have all the reasons, I've read the book and a million articles and stories. I've done my research and tried all the tricks. I have to find a way to get my brain on board. I need help, but i dont know what kind or where to get it. I dont want to spend my life torturing myself by quitting a million times. I just want to be done. I feel so confused and conflicted and guilty. Its all mental, I know. But I dont how to control it

[Giulia]

Yes, posting in the right place!  If you're on the blog the person has written and  click on "add a comment", you will be responding to them on their blog.  If you click on Reply under a response, you're replying to the person who wrote the response.  I hope that makes sense.  I, for example, am responding to your response.  But it will still be seen on the blog itself.

[jamieroden1]

I think that's part of why I have had a hard time, I was expecting for the actual withdrawal to be the hard part, I was ready to fight the nicotine. Not myself.

[sweetplt]

Hi and Welcome to Ex’s...jamieroden1 

Please know you are not alone...many of us liked smoking or we wouldn’t have done it...infact, we smoked through so much of life...it’s learning we can face life without the smokes, but it takes time...infact, this journey is so much more than quitting smoking....it is learning to deal, celebrate, eat, enjoy, drink without smoking...etc., 

You received some great advice above me .. also, some good stuff to read...do the work...and make the decision....it really comes down to us....making a choice....keep close to the support site for help...I am so glad you wrote these post many feel the same way .... Happy Friday ~ Colleen 354 DOF 

[jamieroden1]

You are so right. It does come down to just making the choice and sticking with it no matter what. Relearning is hard, but I know it will be worth it in the end. Now to make my brain go along with it! Thank you!

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Write a goodbye letter to the cigarettes.  It may help on the mental level.  You have to let go mentally as well as physically.  It all takes time. /blogs/aztec-blog/2010/08/08/write-your-goodbye-letter-letssee-it?sr=search&searchId=e53d94c1-0216-4... 

[beazel]

Someone here recently said you have to be willing. All of the sudden it made sense.....

Honestly, I didn't want to quit and it was pretty miserable for a very long time. But the only way over it is to go through it.

But I was willing to do whatever it took to be free.

Yes, the mental stuff is hard. You will find more strength from within that you never knew was there.

Just be willing. 

Make your quit your #1 priority.

Don't smoke - No Matter What.

It's hard for most people, but we did it, trust me - so can you!!

[jamieroden1]

You are absolutely right. I think I figured out after reading everyone's posts, that I had geared up to fight the wrong battle. It sounds dumb to say you have to be willing, but I understand what you mean completely. It is a separate thing. Wanting to do it, knowing you need to, but also willing to go through whatever you have to to get there. I've come to a conclusion today that I should have a while ago. Am I willing to die for it? Because those are my only 2 options. Either smoke until it kills me and be broke and miserable in the process, or quit- and maybe feel miserable at times for a little while. It seems really really stupid to think that even needs to be answered. But every time I smoke im choosing to let it kill me. It's not worth it. I think I am finally getting to a good place mentally to do it. Thank you to all of you for talking with me about all of this. I know I'm kind of all over the place right now, but it is so helpful.

[indingrl]

Awe YOUR not alone - I stopped and started tons of times too - WELCOME - You've said YOU read ALL the info on YOUR NICOTINE ADDICTION - if YOU CHOOSE you can watch the videos at whyquit.com - just sharing they helped me - gentle hug

[jamieroden1]

I read a lot of stuff, but I'm finding out that i was not reading all of the correct information. So much stuff just covers the same exact same things! I got tired of reading the exact same stuff. Right now i need to learn more about addict thinking. I think that will help. Thank you!!

[Giulia]

" i was not reading all of the correct information."  I'd be interested in knowing what that incorrect information is to your mind.  We all need to know what that incorrect information is, so we can correct it, or at least become aware of it for ourselves.  I'd also really be interested in knowing of what the "exact same stuff" you got tired of reading.  If you can explain it.  I, for one, don't want to put up the exact same stuff that's boring the heck of new quitters.  Although, you do have to realize a lot of that "same stuff" is put up because it holds true across the board for most quitters.  So we tend to reiterate it.  But I really am interested in what you mean by both of those statements.  (And this is in no way meant to be a challenge or negative, or aggressive.  I'm a little gun shy at this point because I've been misinterpreted so many times.  So I just want you to know that I'm really just coming from a curious point of view.  I want to learn and keep learning.)