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Give and get support around quitting

Pookweencess
Member

I am miserable and about to give up

61 days of not smoking and I am miserable every day.  Either I don’t really want to quit or something is wrong with me.  I can’t take it anymore- cranky, weight gain etc and I never get a break from it

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40 Replies
JACKIE1-25-15
Member

never give up.jpg You are on the brink of a breakthrough.  If you give up now you will not EXperience it.  Never give up, Never give in. No point in turning around now.  You have come too far.  You have really gone through the worst. part.  /blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke?sr=search&searchId=23de...‌.  Take smoking as an option off the table and do something different.  Stay close.  Breathe Deep Breaths

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Remember you liked this From one of the Elders Giulia    When you're supposed to start feeling better is really all about an attitude adjustment.  To my mind anyway.  For me, until I was willing to go through whatever it took for however long it took, I suffered.  Until I closed that door on the possibility of smoking, I left the choice open.  And it's allowing the choice that makes the journey all that more difficult.  I can't really explain that attitude adjustment, but for those who have made it, they have achieved the long-term freedom they so desired.  

 

You're clinging to your old smoking self.  We all did.  As long as you cling to it, you won't experience the benefits of the changes that have taken place.  I didn't notice many myself. (And I did gain weight too, that's normal.)   But one I DID notice was that I could smell things I hadn't smelled in years.  Rather than dwelling on the lack of improvement, spend time dwelling on the opposite.  Whatever little bit it may be.

 

"I used to be a happy, fun type of person."  What you're saying is in essence because you've stopped smoking you are not longer that person.  Which means the only reason you WERE that happy fun person is because you had a cigarette with you all the time.  Think about that.  Did puffing on a chemically addictive cigarette make you a happy, fun person?  No.  You're just passing those attributes onto a cigarette.  You can be a happy, fun person without a stupid cigarette.  You've simply made a false connection in your brain.  That's what we addicts do.  

 

How do you solve the problem?  Focus on something other than the negative aspects your going through.  Dig for the positives if need be.  Discover what you're supposed to learn from this experience.  Take it as a growth experiment.  And really examine why you chose to stop smoking in the first place.  We can forget that along the way.   Revisit it.  And if the impetus has lost some of it's excitement, find a way to revive it.  That's part of our on-going homework.  I've always found that supporting others is a great incentive.  When we offer advice to others, it echoes back in our own brains and reinforces our own commitment.  Expectations, Timelines and the Reality YOU Create

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WhispersQSMB
Member

Dont give up. Smoking does nothing for us, what youre feeling is No Mans Land https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-days-30-to130-appr... 

Giulia
Member

Beautiful Inner Self Beautiful.jpg

DO NOT GIVE UP!  As Jackie said, "You are on the brink of a breakthrough.  If you give up now you will not EXperience it."

You've put in so much hard work.  What?  You really want to throw all that away?  REPLAY THE RELAPSE   Ask yourself this question:  "If I got to the other side of this addiction, where I didn't feel miserable all the time, would it be worth it?"  If you answer "yes," then you have to keep on.  Another question:  "If I give up and go back to puffing, will I be satisfied with that decision in the long run?"  If you answer "no," then you have to keep on.  I think you're still fighting your choice to quit.  Or that addicted brain part is, anyway.  You have to agree to remain steadfast as long as it takes.  'Cause that's what it takes.  You can do this.  Say it:  I CAN DO THIS!  Say it again, louder:  I CAN DO THIS!

Once we've spent hard-fought-for time smoke-free, we can never be totally relaxed and satisfied smoking again.  Because there will always be that thought "I really should quit" nagging us.  You put up this blog because you really don't want to relapse.  We're here to tell you you don't have to.  You never have to have another day one.  All you have to do it get through a day won.  Please believe us when we say the misery won't last forever.

And please go to Relapse Prevention‌ and read the material in there.

Find something to do that's fun and makes you laugh.  Humor really helps.

Pookweencess
Member

I do t feel very humorous right now just angry and irritated- I can’t stand myself 

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sweetplt
Member

Hi and Welcome to Ex’s

You have received some great information above me...please to the readings...sometimes we need to change out entire thinking in life...and perhaps you need to start listing your gratefulness everyday...and top of the list ~ Your wonderful quit...keep the quit and start changing the things you can...and to accept those things you can’t...Keep close to here for any and all support...~ Gotcha in my thoughts ~ Colleen 292 DOF 

MarilynH
Member

I hope you are still here at Ex Pookweencess we're all here rooting you on.....

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Pookweencess
Member

I am still here but am not sure how I am going to get past this

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Breathe your way through it. Smell the great outdoors.  Look around at nature. Count from one hundred backward.  One breath at a time. Ice cold water always gave me a bounce.  Take a walk, EXercise if you can.  You have to believe that you can.  Tell yourself that you can do this stead of doubting. Never give up.  Keep telling yourself you just don't do that anymore.  It is no longer part of your lifestyle.  Stay close. 

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