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Give and get support around quitting

mmurry414
Member

Has any quit smoking while living with a smoker?

I have been trying to quit smoking now for about 6 months now and I'm wondering if anyone has quit smoking while living with a smoker. Its felt almost impossible for me to quit since we smoke inside the home. 

20 Replies
desiree465
Member

I agree with everyone the first thing you have to do is keep the smoking outside of the house and car. You don't want to smell that smell after you quit anyway because you will think it's horrible. 

hotrod2332
Member

I am married to a smoker.  Right now, he has no desire to stop, but he's very encouraging to me in my endeavor to quit.  I did quit almost a month ago and living with a smoker has not hindered me.  As a matter of fact, a lot of times, the smell of his cigarettes makes me woozy!  It's only by the grace of God that I've been able to quit this time.  I ended up getting a bronchial infection the same week I set my quit date.  Therefore, I have been too sick to smoke and the thought of smoking makes me nauseous.  I am feeling better, but still do not want to smoke.  I will be praying for you, mmurray414.  God bless you!

bonniebee
Member

@Just lost my entire comment and the site did not save it !!!

so very frustrating especially with my carpal tunnel syndrome !  

I will just say welcome to Ex and Yes it is possible I now have 1155 Days of freedom and I still live with a smoker !

I have more to say but later !  

emilyt123078
Member

Welcome!!! I have one of those smokers, he's called, "my husband" How about setting them up nicely in their own private smoking area? Have you mentioned that to them? If they smoke in front of you, tell them that you'll be stepping away until they are done. You'll have to do the moving around until they get it in their head that you're no longer smoking. Maybe even tell them that it's giving you a horrible headache now and that you can't take the smell. Leave the room when they smoke and maybe they'll get the message that you can't take it. ♥

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xIndix
Member

I quit while my husband smoked. He still does in fact. It isn't unfair for you to ask your partner to no longer smoke in the house or to even not smoke around you anymore. The first 6 months are so important when protecting your quit. If would be great if he or she would join the journey with you, but everyone has to reach that point where they are just fed up. You should let your partner know that just because he or she is not ready to quit that doesn't mean they can't respect your desire, too. Just be aware, after you quit, if you bring up your partner quitting, he or she will get really defensive. Best of luck!

DLHaffner
Member

Hi mmurry414‌!  I quit and my husband still smokes.  38 DOF!!!  We live in California so we always went outside to smoke which I think has helped a lot.  We did, and he still does, smoked in our attached garage. I bought the Costco size Febreze if I have to go in the garage to do the laundry I Febreze the crap out of it.  Oddly he has been smoking less in there because I don't think he likes when I Febreze the crap our of it.  We're not really great communicators (joking but not joking) so I invade his airspace with Febreze if he invades mine with smoke.  You can do it.  We each have our own cars too so I don't smoke in mine, he doesn't smoke in his if I'm in there so that's nice.  I agree with what someone else said that it smells DISGUSTING now.  I am mortified that I smelled like that.  If you're still smoking you may sometimes get a wif of a real old dirty ashtray...well that's what smokers smell like to me now.  

A coworker of mine, Terry, who's in his early 60's quit and his wife still smokes in the house.  He said he used the patch for 12 weeks as directed.  He said it doesn't bother him that she still smokes because he hasn't given anything up.  I think someone else mentioned that too.

Good luck and welcome!   Just try not smoking...like an experiment see how long you can go.  That's how I started quitting and it was surprising I could go all day and still be alive.

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AllieAllerson
Member

I have been able to successfully quit vaping while living with a long-time cigarette smoker. I have asked him for a cigarette once during all this (I have been completely off nicotine going into three days now) and held it in my hand but did not light it. I truly think that if he were vaping a Juul like I was i would not be able to see him do that in front of me and resist the urge. It is hard to see him smoke but I have been able to hold myself back from smoking with him mainly because he has encouraged me to stop and refuses to share with me (other than the time I was begging!) 

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Congrats on 3 days of freedom from nicotine.  As you can see from the post several have quit living with a smoker. Here are a few other blogs that  I use for reference when this question arises.  As one of the elders use to say "keep them away from your face!

/blogs/Mandolinrain-blog/2018/09/21/dealing-with-mate-friends-that-still-smoke?sr=search&searchId=99... 

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2017/06/21/quitting-when-you-live-wi... 

Never give up, never give in, Protect your quit, it is your own. 

AllieAllerson
Member

Thank you Jackie. I hope that after seeing me quit (I am well into 3 days now) he will be encouraged to stop smoking! He has been doing it for a long time and he is now in his 40's. 

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JACKIE1-25-15
Member

I understand your concern living with a smoker, remember to keep the main thing the main thing.  Your own quit. Everyone has their own time.  Keep being that bright light that it can be done.  Come here often.  You can even pm me if you need to get my attention.  Never quit on your quit.