i dont know I listened to these books a thousand times but I didn’t quit. Anyone else have the same problem?
What is wrong with me? I am still smoking and I hate myself.
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i dont know I listened to these books a thousand times but I didn’t quit. Anyone else have the same problem?
What is wrong with me? I am still smoking and I hate myself.
What do I do if my husband smokes. And I work from home. And I have 2
teenage girls that are 14 and 16 and so moody and miserable. ? How can I
quit despite this. ????
On Thu, Aug 29, 2019 at 10:13 AM JACKIE1-25-15 <
Fortunately, I lived alone when I first quit smoking but others here have lived with smokers andhave been successful. Here are a few reference blogs on the topic. Please read the blog and the comments they both may be helpful. Quitting when you live with smokers and Dealing with mate /friends that still smoke . If you would like to research the topic in more depth just click on the magnifying glass and do a keyword search, which is another way to educate yourself and have a distraction at the same time.
Hi and Welcome to Ex’s...gehen2018
Please no negative talk...Hate is a strong word...it’s not one thing that helps us quit...it is the preparation, knowledge and hard work that helps one quit...I strongly suggest you read and prepare for your quit at My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX
You need to start thinking about what you will do in place of smoking...we have a great list ... and I am sure you can add to it...100 Things to do instead of smoking! Also, keep at the support site to encourage others and to get support...it is not one thing that helps us quit...but using negative words will not help you...so turn it around to “I like me and I am worth the quit”...now get working...~ Colleen 269 DOF
Stop being so mean to Newbies. You want everyone to quit in your image - allow people to feel and make their comments. You already tried to shut me down - didn’t work - i’m Still here - still not smoking.
Please no harassment necessary 67oldbabe I am and was not mean to any Newbies...I have been here almost a year helping many at this site, if you don’t like it or me...leave me alone...Please donot bully me...
Great advise you got above. The thing is, everyones different. Although we all are addicts to Nicotine, we all have different 'stressors' and 'limits' we can personally manage with our quits. Thats how I see it anyway. That book was exactly what I needed....but its not for everyone. and thats okay. We just share what works for each of us.
I would also suggest a quit journal. Keeping track of your emotions and what's going on when the craves come and then list things you can do to replace the crave. I dis this also and it was helpful, along with walking alot, jumping on my mini tramp, drinking water and doing artwork or knitting...cleaning our every cupboards and drawer and closet in the house, kitchen cabs,,,,you name it. Anything to keep my hands busy and drinking water all day longs as I did all of this.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Hate the addiction....not you. Don't allow the 'addiction' to have the control anymore and keep you in a defeated mood. Your here now, and we will help support you if you let us, okay?
One day at a time. You can do this.
Welcome. I found some of the book helpful, but don't feel it led to my quit. I don't agree with his premise that it's easy. He has a whole slew of books that everything is easy. Do what's been suggested. Educating yourself about addiction and preparing are the key to success. Don't expect a book to do the work for you. As everyone has said, there is no reason to hate yourself. That's self-defeating and probably detrimental to your success. Stay close to the site and reach out if you need help. We're here for you.
Barb
Ok got the whole hate myself message. Geez. I thought I was able to talk
openly and honestly and I was a just a word used to state what I was
feeling at the time. And why I don’t reach out ever. Don’t need to be
lectured on a word. Which seems to be the focus here. It’s fine. I tried to
reach out. Will go elsewhere to find support.
Thank you for take the time to respond. But Focusing on a word and telling
me I shouldn’t feel a certain way and why isn’t helpful. It is what it is.
On Fri, Aug 30, 2019 at 8:29 AM Barbscloud <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>
Sorry if you felt that the focus was not in the right place and you were offended. Please do not leave. You know that saying everyone has an opinion. Around here we agree to disagree (most of the time)lol. Take what you find is useful and leave the rest because if you don't your focus can become misguided. I would like for you to give this site an opportunity to help you. It has been a way to quit that I never could achieve alone. That is what you came for right? My motto in life is don't sweat the small stuff. Make quitting your priority. All I ask is that you have an open mind and give the EX community a chance. Remember to keep the main thing the main thing. Gosh, I am doing a lot here. I just want you to stay give us a chance. You will be glad that you did.
Ok will do. It’s so hard.
On Fri, Aug 30, 2019 at 11:59 AM JACKIE1-25-15 <
I understand. It is hard but it is also DOABLE. Remember that word. DOABLE Where do we start? Some say set a date. I say "educate". Here is another site that I suggest that you surf. www.whyquit.com There are several easy to read articles that puts Allen Carr the Easy Way to Quitting to Shame. (my opinion) I read both. Nicotine Addiction 101 and Freedom from Nicotine - The Journey Home: free PDF version Also watch a few videos while you are there if you haven't. This site does not agree with NRT's but has a wealth of other information How to quit smoking - Joel's Stop Smoking Videos . Let me know what you think. STAY CLOSE.
Hi - I am a Newbie to this quit thing too. Have just reached day 11 by the skin of my teeth - literally hanging on by a thread.
These X Babes tried to lecture me in the beginning too and I was really pissed. I was trying to “just make comments” and the shut me down real fast. Wasn’t fun - felt like I was 5 years old.
So, I backed off and made no more comments. But what I did do was read every blog and every “latest comment” and I learned and ultimately it kept me going.
when someone new comes on board the Xers always say the same stuff - it is redundant but all true.
eventually you will bypass the generic comments and take away the info that will help you.
i quit Cold Turkey and it is tough. Stick with this site - ignore the babes that treat you like you are 5 and just read everything that comes across this site daily and all the trending subjects.
you will get through this. By the skin of your teeth! I will help you.
Wow......you're pretty upset. Thats alot of anger you are projecting. You do realize that the 'Babes' do not have to spend time on this site reaching out to help others on their free time? Many have children-grandchildren-or even elderly they care for....many are working 'Babes', that have active busy NON SMOKING lives and are here to help others obtain the same. We ALL have different backgrounds and while not everyone relates to each of our stories, someone will. Name calling sickens me. It is immature and not necessary. Just agree to disagree or move on.
I am sorry you feel the 'X BABES' treated you like a baby, although I am certain it was not their intent. Yes, we happen to repeat ourselves often because we have successful quits and want others to achieve this freedom we have as well. Take what you need and leave the rest.
You should be thankful for these folks because they ARE the site and without them, there would not be the successful community we have all come to be a part of. You are out of line.
The reason it sounds like comments are repeated is because when someone is new, they've never heard before. Did that ever occur to you? Probably not, because you're too self-centered to think about anyone else. No one ever tried to shut you down. You came on this site being rude and insulting. You've got a real problem and actually act like a 5 year old. Other members can do what they want. Personally, I will not waste any more time being insulted by you.
Wishing you success on your quit.
Barb
Yes, it is hard. We we're trying to make it easier for you by not hating yourself. That's your choice.
Barb
gehen2018 wrote:
reach out. Will go elsewhere to find support.
Thank you for take the time to respond. But Focusing on a word and telling
me I shouldn’t feel a certain way and why isn’t helpful. it is what it is.
On Fri, Aug 30, 2019 at 8:29 AM Barbscloud <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>
I hope you will stay.
One of the things I've learned on my journey to being a nonsmoker is that... no it is not "it is what it is"... Instead, it is what you MAKE it. Our thoughts and words and self talk are very instrumental in our attitude. Attitude, especially an "I can do this" attitude, go a long way to a successful quit. I think that's what folks were trying to address. Using shorthand, not spelling things out. Hate the addiction not the addicted one (i.e. yourself). Love yourself. Be excited about the arduous journey you are undertaking.
Of course you are free, even encouraged, to speak out about your thoughts and feelings and some of them guaranteed will NOT be nice in the early part of quitting. Our responses are not to castigate you for expressing them, but to try to help you change your way of thinking to one that will pave the road to a healthier quit.
It does start out very difficult. It gets easier. It honestly does.
Henry Ford said : Whether you think you can, or think you can't... you're right.
Let your thinking be your stronghold not your downfall.
Good luck with your quit. If you consider support a lecture, your problem.
Whoa gehen2018 take a deep breath and count backwards from 10...only reason we focused on the “word hate” ... was due to us seeing so many quitters and the more negative they are about themselves the less success...honestly, you can be very honest and if you want to hate yourself, you are welcome to do it...our whole focus is to help people quit...so please don’t go...if quitting is your focus, we will keep to that journey with you...if you feel you must go...I do hope you find the support so you do quit smoking....~ Colleen 270 DOF
It is just a word. Lol. That was my point. I was like whoa I don’t need to
be pounced on by so many people yikes!! Its all good. I don’t take it
personally from anyone and don’t really want to join a community that is
arguing with each other. And my email inbox blew up w so much craziness.
It’s all good. Thanks to the people who say stay here. Etc. you are so
sweet. To those who are nasty and mean you have a right to voice your
comments too. It’s fine. No one needs to be corrected is my point or
educated on how not to feel. It is what it is. Sending peace vibes your
way XXOO I am 47 ;).
On Fri, Aug 30, 2019 at 12:23 PM sweetplt <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>
Sometimes we have to listen.To what is said and what we are saying.
Come on.....it is not the end of the world.
You will have to love yourself first....sure you are. The body is yours, and you need to love it too. Your brain has wrong software sitting in due to many years nicotine dependability. Therefore you hate the wrong things. You need to hate your brains constant signalling for nicotine. That is doable by various methods ..some are in Alan Carr book.
Find most suitable way for your quit, stick to it, your way you have to find out......
you would get advises from this group, which are sensible and worth trying.
All the best!
Ex is here for you 365. In addition to that have you checked your local hospital for quit programs? Their may be other resources near where you live. Having contact with others who get how hard it is to quit can ease some of the feelings.
Nicotine addiction is something you get over one day at a time. It's not likely that your teens will understand this at all. So, bringing your frustration here might be of help to you at the start of your quit.
Once you quit---then gaining confidence in yourself comes day by day, one achievement at a time. You are stronger than you think. Stick with Ex, keep learning, keep sharing.
One of the greatest tools you can use
Quitting Cigarettes Journal My story
gehen2018 - I read his book twice and appreciated the point he was making, but his approach proved a little beyond what I could reach right now. Turning on cigarettes on a dime and going from smoking and desiring them (the addiction at it's worst) to hating them and everything they represent (Alan Carr's way of walking away "easy") is a great mind over matter trick.
I don't doubt he pulled it off. In the book he talks about smoking 100 cigarettes a day. If I had been smoking 100 a day I bet I could have mustered up a bit more hatred for them, but I wasn't.
Don't get me wrong - I think his approach is right. You have to get to a point where you hate smoking and the cigarettes but for me it isn't happening overnight. I still struggle and have to keep forcing myself to embrace the right way of thinking about quitting. It's work and it damn sure isn't easy. But that's ok.
The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to stop looking for ways to bash on yourself. I felt a little bad about not being able to embrace Alan's approach to quitting because I wanted it to be easy too. But I couldn't and that's ok. I'll do this the hard way. But what I won't do it turn on myself, heap on the guilt and doubt and drive myself back to buying a pack in despair and hopelessness. F that noise.
Alan had an easy way to quit smoking and I'm glad for him. My way is harder and that's ok. Yours will be different and that's cool as well. As long as you and I don't fire up again we win and whatever way we use to get there is right.
And then we can write a book.
Very good attitude. Love it. We all can learn from each other and what works for me may not work for someone else, but we all can remain approachable to let others in, to see what helped us. its the pieces of ALL of our quits can make a difference for one person and thats awesome.
Carrs book was very helpful for me, so I do share that....and if it helps another person, cool. If not.....we have plenty of others on this site it has helped and plenty it had not....bottom line still resinates with me is: take what you need ( what actually helps) and leave the rest. There are more ways than Carrs way to stop smoking.
I Can't quit smoking while I am smoking. At least that's is what I have learned.
Best of luck.
Welcome back and thanks for your question. There is no book, pill, NRT that can make you quit smoking. I believe the title of the book is misleading. My opinion, the title should be Easier instead of Easy. What may help one person may not help another? It helped me but quitting smoking comes from the inside with the determination and perseverance to never touch another cigarette ever and putting in the work required to do just that. The books, etc. are just tools to help assist and give a better insight into nicotine addiction. It takes HARD work and the commitment to never take another puff. Quitting is doable. Many of us have. You can also if you are willing to let go of the crutch and take the walk of faith and believe that you can. It is a wonderful journey if you just take the first step. NOPE. Start here My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX