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Give and get support around quitting

ryanngina
Member

Day 2

I'm doing chantex & nicoderm & still feel really crappy,my wife just through an unopened pack at me.....grrrr I hope I can frame that pack 

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7 Replies
Barbscloud
Member

Welcome to the Ex and congrats on your 2 days smoke free.  What  you're experiencing is so normal.  This is a major physical, psychological and emotional upheaval.   It will get better.  This is an excellent letter to share with a loved one to help them understand.   This is your quit, so don't give up!

Barb

Letter to a Loved One 

Giulia
Member

Throw it back at her!  I'm kidding, but gee, she's not exactly on your side it seems.  Nor is she helping!  Actually, here's a better idea:  fill the sink with water, rip open the pack and dump them in!  

Welcome to our crazy wonderful family.  You do understand that Chantix and Nicoderm are only aids.  They don't remove all craving.  But then I guess you've figured that out!  lol  Others will chime with with informative links.  The first three days, the first week is the pits.  Grin and bear it.  Do more grinning (pull up your sense of humor) and stay busy.  We need lots of things to help distract.  You might also take a gander at:  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/message/30736-craving-buster-techniques  and give it a try.  

A craving is not a command.  Stay the course.  You'll be ever so grateful you did.  Our sense of pride grows with each day we conquer this beast.  CHARGE!

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

Congratulations on your decision to smoke.  It isn't easy, but understanding what is going on and having a plan of what you can do when it gets tough will help make it easi(er). 

Here is a letter that explains what you are going through - it might help your wife to support your efforts:  Anacondahead's Letter to a Loved One.

My advice follows Giulia's on what to do with that pack (and any other packs) of cigarettes.  Keeping them around is just giving yourself permission to smoke them.  If they are your wife's, I would ask that she keep them, the ashtray and lighters out of your sight.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.


 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

maryfreecig
Member

Yeah, the addiction does make most quitters mad that it is not easy. But it is your goal to quit and that means that you can do it--one day at a time.

sweetplt
Member

Hi and Welcome to Ex’s...ryanngina 

You received some good advice above me...do the work and it will keep you busy...plus make you knowledgeable about addiction.  You can do this...hang in there...keep close to the site and help encourage others in their journey and get help...Please get rid of any and all smoking paraphernalia....Gotcha in my thoughts ~ Colleen 258 DOF 

elvan
Member

You have gotten some great advice from the people above, especially the Letter to a Loved One...where did your wife get the unopened pack?  Was it hers or one of yours?  I agree with Giulia‌ that you should open them and throw them in the sink...and tear them apart.  It is very cathartic.

Great job handling that situation, I am sorry that your wife is not more supportive.  Welcome to EX.

Ellen

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JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Congratulations on making the decision to quit smoking and being free for these 2 days.  I hope that you will continue on and not give up.  Our emotions can really explode when we quit smoking.  We have sucked in so much of our feelings with the smoke.  I suggest that you give her this letter.  Give me a moment to find it. Letter to a Loved One 

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