Logic dictated to me that I SHOULD quit. We can no longer smoke and pretend we are unaware of the potential consequences. Unless you never watch TV or read, you KNOW that smoking is harmful to your health. Even if you don't yet experience the negative health effects.
When I became connected to a support site, THAT is when things changed for me. I learned that smoking wasn't just a "bad habit." That it wasn't so much I "wanted" to smoke but that I HAD to, to stop the cravings. The desperate NEED to smoke, wasn't exactly the same thing as WANTING to smoke. If that makes any sense. When I became educated about it all, I was then able to separate them in my mind.
I never wanted to stop smoking. But I was able to because I finally made the necessary commitment. I agreed with myself to stop. I believed I would get to the point, at SOME point, where I would no longer crave cigarettes. That was the ultimate goal. I didn't know when that would happen, but everybody was telling me it would so I trusted them. And I accepted whatever was necessary along the journey. I said to myself "No matter what, I won't smoke."
Now I happened to quit for Lent, a very specific amount of days (and a pledge to a Higher Source). I knew I could quit for a limited amount of time. And I gave myself permission to start smoking again when Lent was over. BUT, I also know myself pretty well. I knew that if I quit for 40 days, there is no way I'd go back and revisit Day One. I'd been there enough times to understand that if I just hung in long enough, I'd never HAVE to revisit that day. Actually it's the day before that's the worst (to my mind.) That was 13 years ago.
Doesn't mean that I didn't have the same back-and-forth chatter in my head about it all. I did: /blogs/Giulia-blog/2014/07/08/a-quit-dialogue-in-iv-acts?sr=search&searchId=95149e5c-7869-4935-86b7-... But I don't believe you have to want to quit in order to do so. Though it does make it a whole lot easier and more pleasant!
I couldn't think in terms of "FOREVER." Forever was just too big, too much of a mountain to have to climb psychologically. But a day at a time? Yeah, I could do that. That made it much smaller, less overwhelming. I may not have "wanted" to quit so much as I really wanted to never have to go through the process of quitting again. THAT desire is still burning strongly. THAT is my motivation still.
I still want a cigarette now and again. Especially after a job accomplished (that 'reward' cigarette). But it's like wanting some popcorn when I smell it. Doesn't mean I have to act of that desire.
I'll tell you this about my journey - in the beginning years I would keep saying, "If I could smoke without penalty, I would." Kind of like your "I want it to be ok to smoke." But I've moved on past that now. The thing that I think we smokers/ex smokers need to keep in mind is that a cigarette really doesn't taste at all good. https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/conversations/blog/2019/05/28/mindful-quitting-techniqu...
Yes you can.
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