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Give and get support around quitting

MrsPoe
Member

Time for a cool change 🎶

Hello! I've decided to quit smoking and am going to need all the support I can get! Here's a little background...

I am an army wife and a new mother of 1 beautiful 7 month old daughter. My husband and I have been together for 7 years, both smoking years before we met. I personally have been smoking for around 10 years give or take, I'm 23, and have experienced an array of huge life changes in the past 7 months. 8/31 our daughter was born by emergency cesarean. 9/4 my husband left for basic training. We quit smoking last year on 2/20 because I found out I was pregnant. Since it was no longer just my body, I felt a strong need to quit. And he was my biggest supporter.

Fast forward to 11/16. Family day for my husband, I travelled from Oregon to Georgia to spend a couple of days with him. I had a cab driver that smoked in the cab, and immediately felt myself wanting to smoke. I curbed it because my husband was not smoking and it gave me inspiration (plus it was against the rules for him to use any tobacco during basic training). But once I got home, I began smoking again. Very slow at first, only 5 or 6 cigarettes a day. Once he got out of basic and stationed in Louisiana (where we live now) he began smoking again. I've never lived anywhere but my hometown and smoking seemed to curb the intensity of the culture shock, or so I thought. And having an infant who I'm basically alone with 24/7 with limited breaks, because the Army has my husband for weeks sometimes a month at a time, I feel the only real time I have to myself is the 10 minute maximum time I take to smoke a cigarette. I know I could be doing other, more productive activities with that 10 minutes. But the cigarette craving and convenience at the time is stronger than my want to do those other, more productive activities. I feel lazy at times, also like I'm throwing my life away because I could be focusing on a talent or hobby. I give literally all of my time making sure my daughter is taken care of and happy, and to my husband who works so hard to provide the life we deserve, the life we've always dreamed of having (since we were in the beginning of our relationship) and he deserves to come home to a happy, clean home. I need support, I have a killer support system don't get me wrong. But I need support when everyone else is busy with their own lives. I need to find inner strength and will power to just say no. I need to take care of myself without feeling that cigarettes are my only option for a bit of relaxation. I've gone through my triggers and ways to defeat them on this site, and I'm pretty positive I can make them work to my advantage. But as you all know, it's a lot easier said than done. If you've gotten all the way through this, I want to say thank you so much for taking the time to read it and really appreciate any advice, help, or even just positive words you may have to help get me through this. This is for me, my family, and our future. Have a blessed day, and keep up the great work!!

13 Replies
Mandolinrain
Member

Welcome with open arms to our community. We are much like a family here. This is an excellent place to gain support as well as educate yourself on this addiction. The more you understand it the better you will do quitting.

Stay near the site when you can. Read the suggested reading materials listed above and ESPECIALLY Alan Carss book. WOW, that book is a very short/fast read and it was the fuel that got my quit going and going strong now almost 5 years.

I had many failed attempts but understanding the addiction was key and Carrs book put that all into perspective for me. I wish you well and look forward to watching your amazing quit journey grow on you! What a wonderful service your husband does for our country as well as you supporting him. Your darling baby will have sweet smelling parents also to enjoy all the more when you quit!

Barbscloud
Member

Welcome to the Ex.  You've already gotten great advice.    There's great support here, so just reach out if you need help.  Look forward to sharing your journey.

Barb

elvan
Member

Welcome to EX, you really have gotten the best of the best advice already, so glad that you are here and that you are quitting while you and your daughter are so young.  I have been quit for over five years now and I credit this site and the support I got here along with the education and my own commitment to getting and keeping me smoke free.  Remember that quitting is a journey and not an event and it is one day at a time.  I used the mantra NOPE, Not One Puff Ever, when I came here and I said that word countless times a day.  I just absolutely refused to smoke.  I kept that commitment and I have never regretted it for one minute.  You CAN do this and this is a wonderful time for your quit to start.  

Do stay close to the site, I came here every morning and every evening and sometimes, in between when I needed to and I could.  Instead of smoking, I came to EX instead of smoking.  You can take breaks in many different ways...you can step outside and blow bubbles, it helps with controlling breathing and will give your daughter something to watch.

Again, welcome.

Ellen