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Give and get support around quitting

Jpuhich
Member

Help

Hey. I'm just reaching out to anyone that has any words of wisdom. I set and re-set my quit date several times. I haven't quit. I'm scared to fail. That's it. I only smoke between 5 and 7 cigarettes per day at this point, but I've been doing it for years. I know I need to stop. I want to stop, but I also don't want to. Help?

8 Replies
Summer-Rain
Member

Hello Spudich I'm glad you found this site because you can get some very helpful suggestions to help  you on your journey.  I'm sure some one will come along with some tips but until you decide you want to quit I don't  have any suggestions for you.

The journey continues

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

The quit water is FINE!  Jump right in (AFTER you do the reading and prep work I will recommend)!   You are only getting about the amount of nicotine in the smallest dose patch, so your physical withdrawal should not be that tough.  The mental part of this process is the more difficult of the two parts of this addiction.  The better you understand it, the easier this is going to be - so please get started!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. Here's a link to a video here on the site which describes nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
 
 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site.
 
 After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.
 
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:


 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
 
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

maryfreecig
Member

     Being scared to quit is not unusual. Not wanting to quit, also not unusual. Smobriety is something you build one day at a time. I'm not a fan of do or die, now or never, I must quit or else thinking. Many of us cower to our delusions with that kind of stressful thinking. Deciding to quit and doing it one day at a time is the best thing you can do for yourself (no one can quit forever in one day--but any of us can quit and stay smober just for today-- then let the days add up and speak for themselves over time). Just as good is seek and get support from Ex. Ex is here 365. 

DonnaMarie
Member

I used to be exactly the same way - I knew I needed to quit, but I didn't want to, and when I did, I got angry because it was unfair that I couldn't smoke. What that way of thinking got me was more smoking. It wasn't worth it. I could rationalize like a champ. Then on 12/27/18, I just stopped. I'm not even sure why, but it was my choice. No one else's. 

I'd love for you to join us in quitting and really, it is pretty hard for the first 10ish days, but the pay off is huge. I hope you choose to quit. We're all here and have been where you are. I'm still working on a baby quit, but I'm determined to not smoke, even 1 cigarette or 1 puff.

Bravo to you for coming here and posting! Looking forward to hearing more from you.

Donna

Day 62

elvan
Member

Jpuhich   You can do this and if you fail, you can try again and again and again.  I struggled like you and UNLIKE you, I hope, I waited until I got so sick that I did not expect to survive.  I did irreversible damage to my lungs and I did not smoke much the last few years but I kept that addiction alive and leading me around.  PLEASE read what YoungAtHeart‌ has recommended and please know that you do not have to do this alone.  We have all been where you are and we all remember, this quitting is not easy, it is a one step at a time journey.  Please read this blog by JonesCarpeDiem‌ that you might find helpful, My Welcome To New Members (12+ Years Of Watching) .  Smoking really does not HELP anything, it fools you into thinking that it does while it is stealing your very breath...take it from someone who really knows.

Welcome to EX...we want you to succeed, every one of us want that for you....make a plan, set a date, BELIEVE in yourself and in this site.  My quit would NEVER have survived without this site and these amazing people.  I used the mantra NOPE when I came here, Not One Puff Ever.  It was short and sweet and easy to remember and to say over and over again, as many times as I need to say it.  Stay close to the site, read blogs, read what is working for others and KNOW that it can work for you as well.

Best to you,

Ellen

Beck37
Member

Life would be dull if you fear failing506835B8-F598-4CE2-B139-AFBE7C04B3E5.jpegI personally believe that unless you want to quit you probably will fail. This is a life long decision and one that shouldn’t be made lightly. Quitting is not easy and if your heart isn’t into it and you don’t have the right attitude than maybe you aren’t ready.

On on the other hand you can so do this.  Most of us here smoked a whole lot more and we are surviving our quit. I wasn’t kidding though when I said it’s all about attitude. If you truly want to quit than you will. You don’t accidentally fail, you make the conscious decision to smoke. 

When you’re ready we are here for you...

Beck

sweetplt
Member

Hi and I am so sorry I wasn't around when you first posted this blog.  Please know the word you used "only" is dangerous.  It is nicodemon's way of wanting you to believe in his lies that "only a few cigarettes won't hurt"...but they do and will.  Did you work the "My Quit Plan" here at the site.  This Quitting takes work, knowledge and preparation like no other.  We are here to help you and in this journey together.  Please try and work the program...~ Gotcha in my thoughts ~ Colleen

millon03
Member

Jpuhich‌, so glad you are reaching out, it is so important! If you haven't done so yet read Allen Carr's "Easy Way To Stop Smoking". It is an easy read and for me, very enlightening! I realize now that when I read about how this stupid little weed (as Carr calls it) was controlling my life, it pissed me off! How could this little plant, chemically treated, control my every mood, my every thought, my every emotion? Why was I letting this insidious addiction take time off of my life? What was it really giving me in return, except sickness, pain, embarrassment, humiliation, low self-esteem, and fear, FEAR! I can tell you, not that long after giving up that last cigarette, I am losing those things and I feel wonderful! I wish I could give you this feeling right now! I wish I could give every newbie this feeling, even if just for a moment, to show you what you are cheating yourself of. Peace, come here often, ask for help, give yourself a break, join us!

Have a beautiful Sunday dear

M. 26 DOF