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Give and get support around quitting

Mdye
Member

Wasn't prepared for the Sex Trigger

My name is Marlo. I was 8 days smoke free. I felt as if I had overcome most of my daily triggers that could trip me up. I wasn't expecting to have sex after a very long time. (It was a pleasant surprise ) 

Unfortunately, the first thing I did was have a cigarette. And I've had a second one since.

 so, do restart my count like an alcoholic would? Or... Do I call this a speed bump and not do it again?

Today, I don't know if I can stay away from a cigarette. This is the first time I have truly felt like an addict. That scares the hell out of me.

26 Replies
desiree465
Member

Treat it as a relapse restart your count, but don't give up. Lots of us have had to redo our quit dates, but restarting a quit immediately is the way to go. And you CAN stay away from a cigarette it's a matter of wanting to. It seems like you really want to because you came on here to talk about it. Marlo, you went 8 days, over an entire week, without smoking so try to make it to 9 days this time, really try hard and maybe by the 9th day you'll feel strong enough to make it to 10. You can do this, fight!

Mdye
Member

Thank you for taking the time to reply and the words of encouragement. It does make sense to restart my count. But I am scared as hell, this time seems harder for some reason.

0 Kudos
desiree465
Member

I get that, you weren't successful the first time so now you're worried that it won't work the second time. But you made it 8 days that first time, be proud of that because you now know you can make it at least that far. The fear will slowly go away you just have to keep at it. Only time really takes it away. 

Jennifer-Quit
Member

Most people, including myself, believe in resetting your quit date.  I feel if there is no price to pay, it will be easier to do it again.  Where did you get the two cigarettes that you smoked?  I hope that if you have any, that you will get rid of them and start fresh.  Best wishes!

Mdye
Member

I live with a smoker 😞

Which has made this harder to quit, but still possible 

MarilynH
Member

I also believe in resetting your quit date and when your Day ONE arrives keep busy and at the end of the day you'll be able to say YAY for Day WON with many more to come you can do this quit believe it deep breaths and know that we're all here to help you in any way we can BUT you must believe it and stick with your quit journey it's definetly not easy in those early days and weeks of quitting smoking BUT it's absolutely Doable so pick your new quit date the sooner the better and please read everything you can about quitting smoking and remaining quit because there's a wealth of information right here on this site to strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb permanently. Mdye

gregp136
Member

" This is the first time I have truly felt like an addict."

That in itself a big step.  Now that you know you are truly addicted, you know that you need to fight it that much harder.

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

I agree with those before me - set your new quit date immediately - and get rid of ALL cigarettes in your environment.  You got eight days under your belt - of COURSE you can quit again.  I suggest you do a bit of reading, and make plans for ALL the triggers and associations with smoking in your life.  Have a plan and don't be surprised.  Think NOW what you might do in that same situation next time. 

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. Here's a link to a video here on the site which describes nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
 
 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance.
 
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:


 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
 
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy