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Give and get support around quitting

Dedon
Member

Quitting Companion

Hi! I'm new here. I made my quitting day February 4th, the cosmic New Year. I have smoked for 41 years. Quit 5 times when I was pregnant, so I have quit only when everything else chemically was going on. I am extremely independent, creative and always very busy with big projects, small projects, you-name-it. I am my own energy ball. I can distract myself to every end, have great sources, reserves of pleasure, activities, etc. And yet, there is no space I cannot place smoking in between it all. So being this independent, and having smoking inter-woven into every transitioning space in my head, I feel like I need a sponsor. Fiercely independent me needs a quitting coach (text, email). Or, at least a quitting buddy. 24/7? This is about the only deterent I have not had. Is there anyone willing to do this? What words of wisdom do you have for me right now? Thank you for hearing me. Regards & hear you soon. Dedon

11 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

I did not have text alerts or messages - hope somebody who went that route will chime in with resources!  I know they exist.  All of us here, though, can be your quit buddies.  One of the elders is usually around, so just write a blog, ask a question or for encouragement/support and somebody will usually come "running!"

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. Here's a link to a video here on the site which describes nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
 
 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site.
 
 After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.
 
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:


 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
 
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

Dedon
Member

Hi Nancy!  I will certainly look into those resources. And try to squeeze in that reading. Problem for me is reading means sitting still. I will certainly jump on the communities. I will have to get over being selfish, since I like having my own -everything. Hahaha me. (I have to say, I did see those films on nicotine addictions, along with all the other drugs and social 'conditions in our bio/science classes in elementary school. Along with the black lung conditions and cancer films, plus,  in library class(?) when we were not learning the Dewey Decimal System.  I hated and then started smoking (when transitioned out of NYC) despite that education.) Additionally, the 'things' are fuel to my flame: I indulge (give empowerment) by studying a thing. After, 41 years, I need to give it as little thought as possible. Time and spontaneity being my kitch leaves me most likely to jump to the boards.  I am looking for a "buddy" because the best tool has been the conversation that goes elsewhere and appreciating someone's magics (the way they think, what they create, the things they explore,  etc.)... I know,  I am a bratty child.   I look forward  to everyone's input,  and I will be difficult. Tho,  Always with ~Much love~ Dedon

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Giulia
Member

If you have myriad things to do to distract yourself, if you're independent and creative then you'll have a blast during this quitting process.  My mind was never as fertiley on fire as it was in the first months of my quit.

You say you quit five times when you were pregnant.  I'm assuming by that you means you had five babies and quit for each, not that you quit five times in one pregnancy.  So you've obviously established that you CAN quit for 9 months.  Was it really just chemical, or was it perhaps also a psychological tool - that of protecting your as yet unborn child?  If that was a factor in your success then you can turn it to your advantage this time.  Just have to re-train the brain.  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2018/03/01/quitting-is-a-skill-that-can-be-learned?sr=search&searchId=b445f49d-ac...‌.  

You say that when you're not on EX you're "creating worlds."  Create your non-smoking world.  It's all between your ears.  My guess is it will be one of the most amazing creations you've ever made.

Welcome.

Dedon
Member

Hi Giulia! Yes. It is psychologically wound of course. Thinking that I can do this for my kids is not getting through to my thick skull now (the baby is 26 years old). I have quit for one year-ish each. I am beyond fertile in the head and that is kind of the point (I am an visual Artist, can design most things, cook,  construct,  yada,  yada).  The smoke has become the gear-shift tool,  between activities and creations, to keep me perpetually going, despite the honest satisfaction I have on the daily... I will be difficult..  Regards, Dedon

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Dedon
Member

There is plenty on and on about nicotine and dopamine but what about dealings with formaldehyde? That's what is doing it for me...TO me. I take responsibility but hey,  I use it to slow me down just enough to really accomplish the next 'task'... So fear is my Achilles here. Fear of not following through on my momentous moments.  Achieving my glories. ... Signed Doll Lost in the Daisies

0 Kudos
Giulia
Member

We can stop for somebody else only for a while.   It's ourselves that we ultimately have to stop for.  Is that your moon face creation?  How fab.  Check out this blog:  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/message/118579-share-your-art-with-us   There are some other talented people here.

Maybe the trick for you would be to concentrate on quitting, make that your focus for a while.  I've always wanted someone to draw what cravings feel like.  I'll bet you could.  You could actually document your quit journey through your art.  A passing thought here....

MarilynH
Member

Welcome to the community please read the links suggested above me and keep reading everything you can about quitting smoking and remaining quit because there's a wealth of information right here on this site to strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb permanently it's not easy by any stretch of the imagination BUT it's absolutely Doable and totally worth it to be Free and we're all here to help you in any way we can ,you can do this quit believe it.....

elvan
Member

WOW, you tired me out just reading your blog...just kidding but you certainly do seem to have an abundance of energy.  Education about nicotine addiction is vital, as is support from others who have been where you are, last, but perhaps most important is your own commitment.  I remember "needing" cigarettes between projects...sometimes as a "reward" and other times to help me focus.  The psychological addiction was significantly stronger for me than the physical.  Perhaps that is because I suffered so much physical damage.  Without this site, I could not have quit and stayed quit.  I suggest that whenever you want to smoke that you come here and read blogs or post a blog...we all support each other but few people can be dedicated sponsors.  No one can quit FOR you and no one can MAKE you smoke either.  Read everything that YoungAtHeart‌ suggested and read this blog by JonesCarpeDiem‌  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/thread/6040-my-welcome-to-new-members-12-years-of-watching I think you will find it helpful.

We are all here to offer you as much support as possible, please stay close to the site and READ and comment and keep blogging.

Welcome to EX,

Ellen

Giulia
Member

Have you seen this this video on it?