Anyone here have smoking relapse are 90 days in?

[Bstar888]

Hi y'all! I'm new here and have not ever shared my attempts at quitting with anyone before, but I've come to realize that no man is an island, and being independent is fine until you come to terms with actual dependency upon a substance. 

That being said, I've been around this "mountain" several times before, and every time I come to the 3 month mark... I crack!  I start smoking! The desire is so incredibly strong that it even supercedes the first week of quitting. It's beyond my understanding as to why. 

Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation, and how did you defeat it? Why does this happen at this point of quitting? Any insight would be very, very appreciated! Thanks in advance, and congrats on making the decision to live, and to live without cigarettes! ⭐ 

[sweetplt]

This is my third quit (hmm? third ~ could be a charm) and I can't say I started smoking on my third month quit, but have because of drinking alcohol.  That being said, I have learned through quitting that the 3's are hard.  I am not sure why? The third day, the third week, the third month, the third year, etc., I have seen this in many quit smoking sites.  I guess the best thing we can do is prepare for the "three's" in quitting.  Every time that comes up or close...have a plan...and/or go through all reasons why you want this quit.  I know ... easier said than done...but hey we have to eventually Quit...so call out to us when a three arises and let us talk you out of the smoke.  You can get back on this horse and know you are so worth this quit...Gotcha in my thoughts...

Colleen aka sweetp

[Bstar888]

This is good to know! I had no idea it was so common with others. Have had a tough time finding real applicable advice. Thank you so much!!

[Gwenivere]

I’m new to this, 3 weeks.  Are you using any NRT's?  I don’t want to go thru this ever again so I’m very interested in the replies here.  I had my fears soothed about No Mans Land and now I am concerned again.  

[YoungAtHeart]

Don't be concerned.  These folks were not educated on what to expect and what to do.  You have been.  Don't be surprised, be prepared...just in case...and you will weather this just like you have the rest of your quit journey!

Nancy

[Bstar888]

Well, to be completely honest, I just began using nicotine gum. I have been having daily bought of crying and depression that seems so real that I considered getting meds. So despite my stubornness, I went and got the nicotine gum and I can tell you that my mood is DEFINITELY improving and the cravings and mood swings and crying spells are WAY more manageable and short lived. All I can really say at this point is that there is no shame in messing up (when I do, I just keep on the quitting track and I'm learning to not beat myself up but also to NOT give up on myself just because of a slip up) and that there is no shame in asking people for advice- it's okay that I (or you) need help getting free from cigarettes.

I'm still really early in on my journey and WAS embarrassed that I asked for help- but here I am weeks later and I am so surprised at the love and support and that others really DO get it, they actually can relate and can help us be successful! I hope this helps. Be kind to yourself and don't hold yourself back by hiding whether because of slipping up, fear, embarrassment, stubbornness, pride (I'm all of the above) or any other reason. I'm so glad you are on your way, and for me, the gum seems to really be helpful. I can't wait to see that you are a success story!! I wish you all the best!

[Gwenivere]

I’m using the patches and lozenges.  I just dropped from 14mg to 7.  Doing this in no Mans Land is a bit insane, but the 14’s were making me feel overdosed.  Nothing.really makes sense during this phase.  I, too, have thought about bagging it.  It’s hard to stay focused when you are doing something so good for yourself but feel so miserable.  I’m tired of alll the withdrawl symptoms.  I’m at 60 days and it makes the first 30 look like a cake walk.  People are divided on nic replacements, but I know for me, I couldn’t have gotten this far without them.  It’s your quit, so whatever it takes.  My docs don’t even care about the nicotine , just the smoke and all the toxins in it.  I don’t know if I will ever become nicotine free.  I do know it won’t kill me, but cigarettes can.  Wishing you success in this attempt.

nnn

[Giulia]

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/relapse-prevention/blog/2019/01/27/just-pick-yourself-up-a...   You might head to Relapse Prevention‌ and do some homework in there.  Keep goin!

[Bstar888]

"Serial Quitter"... Am I ever familiar with that person. It's been me for years until I decided to get serious and enroll in this program. Seems I need to find a new term for not giving up if you relapse as opposed to the cliche phrase. Thanks for the redirect and helpful article!

[Giulia]

I think that word is known as "persevere!"  It's when we really get "serious" about this that the greatest strides toward success are made.

[elvan]

Welcome to EX or should I say welcome BACK?  I lost at least ONE quit at three months but it was because I spent the entire three months fighting my craves instead of trying to understand them and find something to do other than smoke.  I think the emotional roller coaster has gotten many of us.  The entire time we smoked, we stuffed our feelings down, we did not learn how to deal with things like our non addicted peers did...a little at a time as they were maturing.  We stuffed sadness and anger and stress and loneliness and physical as well as psychological pain.  We allowed our addiction to convince us that we could not deal with any feelings without using. I have chronic pain and I was actually convinced that if I could get the pain under control, I could stop smoking.  What on EARTH did smoking ever do for chronic pain?  I have been quit now for over five years, I have COPD, I am on oxygen at night, I am pretty much always short of breath with any exertion.  When we quit and our emotions and feelings start to emerge, they seem much larger than they OUGHT to, hence the crying.  I lost more than one quit to anger, I am not sure what I thought I would do if I didn't smoke.  We have growing pains after we quit, they are part of the journey of our quits.  It is the best thing I have ever done for myself.

You CAN do this and the support from this site is amazing.  I came here every morning and every evening and after over five years, I am still coming.  It's not that I want to smoke, I want to help other people quit.

Ellen