HELP!!!!!

[Werdna]

I set my quit for Aug. 8th when my psychologist comes back into town.I had set my previous quit date during the time he would be away.  I have tried over 15 times quitting smoking. This summer I tried 3 times and failed. This last quit of 4 days sent me into such a tizzy. Feeling extremely sad and anxious. I am wheezing and coughing at night. I have quit so many times my husband will be of no help because I have failed so many times. I will really need help. That is why I am on this website. Thanks to all who have read this and if you have any insights or suggestions I would love to hear from you.  Marlene (werdna) 

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

I assume you didn't plan and prepare for your previous attempts?   This is a NEW one and I truly believe if you do the reading and prep work suggested here. you will be successful THIS time.  I'm glad you're here.  We can help.

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. Here's a link to a video here on the site which describes nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested in My Quit Plan http://www.becomeanex.org/my-quit-plan.php

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

[Werdna]

I have been through so many different programs...smokenders, hypnosis, a quit smoking program where they would do CO2 breath tests, ad nauseum! I will keep reading what everyone has to say and suggestions. I just get so damn depressed and sad. THAT I don't get.I know that in the beginning the cravings come fast and furious and the, if I wait 3 minutes the cravings pass. I know that that as time goes by the cravings become less but much more intense. Yes, I do let those little voices say "oh, you have done so well, go ahead and "reward" yourself with just one. My quit date is Aug, 8th. My biggest supporter is my psychologist who will be back in town Aug. 6th. I am hoping to rely on this website and people on here. thanks so much! Marlene

[YoungAtHeart]

Depression and sadness are quit smoking withdrawal symptoms.  If you always suffer from these, it is a good idea to talk to a doctor about medications that might help.  Otherwise, know that these feelings WILL end.  Brisk exercise of any kind can help alleviate these.  I hope you will spend some time doing the recommended reading.  It will help you understand that smoking was NEVER a reward and did nothing good FOR you, only bad TO you.  You have some time before your quit date.  I hope you will spend it educating yourself!

Nancy

[bacardigirl]

Welcome to Ex Marlene! I have found great success with this site. Like you, I had tried numerous times to quit in the past and I would get so far and find an excuse to go buy a pack and start all over again. The key word in that last statement is 'excuse'. If you are looking for one, you will find one. The truth is, there are no excuses that I have heard that justify throwing a quit away. That was a lesson I had to learn.

This site is full of support and advice. Follow the instructions, and mentally prepare yourself for success. I cannot stress enough how much of this habit is mental (at least it was for me). I had to think differently after meals, driving a car or having a drink. These were all triggers for me and I had to re-train my thought process and come up with a plan on how to deal with those triggers (all things that I can or will not give up).

You will find a lot of support from your fellow Ex'ers on this site and a lifetime of great advice. Stay close to this site, shout out if you need help, read the other blogs and at some point, someone will be along to give you all the links and info you need to aid in your success. This site has made the difference in my quit. 645 days since my quit date:)

[Werdna]

You are so lucky to be an ex. Thanks!!!!!

[elvan]

You can be JUST AS "LUCKY" although I really think luck has nothing to do with it.  I am ALREADY proud of you.

Ellen

[elvan]

PLEASE pay attention to what YoungAtHeart‌ has written...preparation and education are so important.  Honestly, I quit so many times that there is no way I could give you a count or even an estimate.  Like you, I was coughing and wheezing and I was experiencing chronic pain, I was certain that if I could get the pain under control that I could quit smoking.  There are some strong parallels between us...mine was and IS physical pain that will never leave me, yours is psychological and every bit as powerful.  The biggest thing I had to do was to evaluate HONESTLY...(key word), just exactly what did smoking do FOR me?  I made myself answer that question every time I lit yet another cigarette, smoking never did anything FOR me...I hated the taste and the smell and I hated the time it stole from me being with my family and I hated what I could FEEL that it was doing to me.  It did not make my pain better, it distracted me for a very, very short period of time.  It did not help with sadness or anger (my biggest trigger), it did not help with fear...it CAUSED the fear and the depression, it was how I was kept hooked to smoking.  The addiction is very powerful but there is no one who cannot beat it one day at a time...one step at a time.  Quitting is a journey and there will be good days and bad days...just like there are when we reach for a cigarette to stuff those feelings down.  You do not have to be on this journey alone.   Having a plan really helped me...I had quit twice in the months prior to this...my FOREVER quit but I was not active on this site.  I had come here and then I left both times.  I quit when it became obvious that it really was a matter of life and death...MINE.  I got so sick that I could not even cough...talking was nothing more than wheezing.  My doctor wanted to hospitalize me and put me in ICU, I knew he was right but I also knew the first thing they would do was to put me on a ventilator.  As a retired RN, I was terrified of having that machine control me...I had also seen many people never make it off the vent.  I used three inhalers, as prescribed and a nebulizer every 2-4 hours and ran a vaporizer in my room.  I was on two antibiotics, I drank GALLONS of liquids, and I did something called postural drainage by hanging myself off the side of the bed...my head was on pillows on the floor while my body was still on the bed and I pounded my chest with cupped hands to try to mimic coughing.  By some miracle, I made it through that, I KNEW I would never smoke again.  My son and husband kept coming into the room to check on me and the looks of fear and concern on their faces will never leave me.  I promised myself that I would not put them through that again if there was any way to avoid it.  There WAS and there IS...how?  I stopped smoking and starting taking care of myself. I eat healthier and I exercise regularly and I come to this site every day if I can.  I used to be here first thing in the morning and last thing at night and I still often do.  I smoked for 47 years, I have been quit for over 4 now thanks to this site and the education and support I have received here.  I have formed friendships here that I have no doubt I will have forever. If you do the reading, commit to being quit, and adopt the mantra NOPE, Not One Puff Ever...you will get stronger every day.  Come here every morning and every evening and read blogs and comments and ask questions...pay attention to any advice that is given and know that it is given out of caring and love.  Know that every person here had to start at the beginning...many of us over and over again.  You CAN do this if you commit to it.  My favorite saying is from OldBones-Larry‌ "One step and then another, will get you to where you want to be."  There are many others and they ALL have power.  Remember that no crave ever killed anyone but no one can say that about smoking.  NO ONE.

Welcome to EX.

Ellen

[Werdna]

Ellen, thanks for your reply.I WILL be on here everyday. 

[Giulia]

Welcome Marlene!  Most successful quitters here spent a lot of time educating themselves about this addiction and the means of overcoming it.  The more knowledge you have, the more prepared you are for the journey ahead.  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2018/03/01/quitting-is-a-skill-that-can-be-learned?sr=search&searchId=9e67cdd4-e1...‌  Support is what made THE difference in my quit.  Keep a sense of humor about you.  It'll help a great deal!  

Here are a couple of blogs on stress that might help:  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2017/02/15/stress-and-resilience , https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2016/02/24/reduce-stress-by-stopping... 

You can do this, Marlene.  Really you can!  Stick with us.