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I quit! April 23rd in my periodontist's office before 2 major LANAP surgeries. Eat or smoke - my choices approaching 50 years old.
I choose food. My quit sucks. I miss coffee and alcohol. I have no social life and I'm walking around pissed off all day - every day.
I go back to my dr end of August to check my healing and how to move forward with implants. If by some chance he can't fix me I'm going to smoke again.
Can anyone please advise how to feel normal for an hour???? I hate myself.
Hi gov... Welcome~
Dittoo what Jackie says about about "faking it til you making it" or something like that... Angry was a way of life for me the first three or four months I quit, and I made the choice to quit, not forced into the choice. So you're getting the double-whammy of "mad because you didn't really want to quit at that time" and "angry at the world because emotions are no longer masked by smoking". That's what I'm seeing anyway.
It is not too late to make the decision that you really DO want to quit, not for surgery, not at doctor's orders, but because it is what YOU want. It is all about mindset. Coming here, and reading reading reading everything available, and talking it out and getting pointers on how to change that mindset, can help you learn to LOVE your quit, cherish it like a newborn baby, coddle it and protect it with your life and really enjoy the benefits of no longer being a slave to addiction.
Mindset mindset mindset. That's the bottom line. Smokers don't GET to smoke, they HAVE to smoke. You no longer HAVE to smoke. But it is a process, not an event, and you still have time to learn to get comfortable in your new non-smoking skin before you decide it isn't worth the effort. You ARE worth the effort, and there are whole new reasons to love yourself once you've quit smoking. No more social pariah, no more stinky hands, clothes, hair, body, car...
You might sit down and really look at your life now as opposed to life as a smoker, and look for the benefits you are already realizing (write them down!). They may be small, but they're there!!
One of my unexpected benefits from quitting smoking has been a huge increase in my own self esteem. I love myself a lot more than I did, without knowing it was going to happen!
Best wishes. I'm sorry for all you're going through. Let this place be your guide to a happy quit!
Double whammy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome to our community!
60 days is HUGE! The nicotine is out of your system! The craves didn't kill you. Think about how much money you have saved! You are probably angry because you see this as something forced ON you. Try changing your thinking around to the fact that this truly is an excuse for you to get healthy, to quit hopefully BEFORE the effects of smoking start to take their toll. And they WILL - make no mistake about that. Change your thinking around so that you make not smoking a CHOICE you are making and see if you don't feel a tad better?
The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” It will help you to understand that all the benefits you THINK you get from smoking are all lies - they honestly are. You can search for it online or at your local library.
You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance.
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
Nancy
I can feel your anger coming off the page. I strongly suggest that you find ways to channel your anger...run, bike, beat up a pillow. This is a journey and recovery takes time. Your peridontal disease is not the only thing to worry about, take if from someone with COPD...NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is worth smoking over. Find a NEW way to socialize, surely drinking alcohol is not absolutely necessary and I KNOW smoking isn't. Is your "social life" worth dying over?
You need to have a plan and FOLLOW it and know that every single one of us had to start at the beginning...there are very few who will tell you that it was easy for them. I smoked for 47 years but I have been smoke free for 4 1/2 years now and I would not go back for ANYTHING. This is a journey...follow a NEW path. It gets easier but you HAVE to let go of the anger.
Welcome to EX,
Ellen
Hey there! Congrats on 60 days!! I know you're not excited but I am! It sounds like your were forced to quit. Why don't you tell us why you want to continue smoking? What do you like about your new smoke free life? Make a list of pros and cons. I guarantee you the list of pros will beat the cons!
A list.
I do not feel like me without a cigarette.
I actually got a physical from my dr because of how awful my quit symptoms were and are - the physical is getting better - the mental not so much.
I asked my dr to give me permission to smoke again as I saw no medical improvements 30 something days in. He laughed at me and said to cut myself a break. A 33 year coping mechanism for every emotion is hard to dissolve.
So at this time I do not have pros - the money I save is laterally moving to the payments I will be making on my dental work through 2019. : (
I am grateful for your words. Im just mad at the world
Ok. Here’s a pro. You are able to put the money you saved by not smoking towards your dental work. If you were smokin, you would be adding on debt.
60 days is something to be very proud of even if you aren't liking one bit of it! I can feel the anger in your post. Jackie is right with the fake it til you make it. Some say be it til you see it!
Here's the thing. Even if your doctor can't fix it, smoking will make it worse. At some point, you won't have a choice to eat because of the smoking.
Today, you have a choice. Today, you can try to make the choice to enjoy your freedom for one minute or one hour. Can you honestly say there is not 1 thing that is good about you or the fact you aren't smoking? I bet you can find one thing.
If you can't, come back to this post, @mention me and then I will give you a list....I don't need to know you personally to tell you 1 good thing about you or the fact you don't smoke. Hang on that 1 thing until you find another. Then another. I bet your list will grow. Read the list. Believe in the list. Smile. Yes...smile. It's contagious.
Make a choice to try to be calm instead of angry. Make a choice to like 1 thing.
Roller
(and feel free to tell me to **********...won't be the first time someone told me that! )
I feel you my friend. You have a life to be proud of. You are beautiful, and strong. you have overcome stages that have made others crumble. I to have quit before and felt the anger and people were all out to get me and they somehow knew I quit smoking and trying to make me smoke again. Truth be told How would they know what I have or have not done. They can not make me do anything I don't want to. You can smoke again if YOU and only YOU want to. Can I ask you why you want to. Are you sure it is not the addiction talking. Can I ask you something you know already after 60 of freedom, Why do you want to? What will you positively get into your life for that one Cigarette? I am on Day one and I would really like to know. I have all the moves now and it may seem as I am just a smarty pants today. But believe you me I am not. I am you. Life is hard and nothing good comes easy. I know you have people in your life that love you and know you are someone special. Never forget one day at a time and we are hear for you.
The one thing keeping me from smoking is another day 1, week 1 and month 1.
The actual physical cravings are sooooo much better.
This is my head. I was PROUD of myself up till a few weeks ago and this profound anger overcame me.
Keep going day 1 - good chance you won't be a pissed off ex.
OK. If you were taking nicotine lozenges and stopped, you are absolutely feeling the effects of withdrawal. Give yourself time. It takes 3 days to get most of the nicotine out of your system, but it can stay in your system up to 3 weeks.
Here's MY list for you! I said 1 thing.
List for not smoking:
1. Your breath smells better as do your clothes.
2. Your health IS better now that you don't smoke - the physical is better (you said so yourself)
3. You didn't die from quitting.
List for why you don't need to hate yourself:
1. You are reaching out to people asking for help. That takes courage which is an EXcellent quality to have and not something to hate.
2. You have 61 days or quit behind you and are stacking those days! That is certainly not something to hate either!
3. Being mad and angry at the world is better than smoking....again not something to hate about yourself.
I agree on cutting yourself a break. You will be learning to deal with stress, emotions, and life without cigarettes. It takes getting used to. What helped me was making new memories without smokes! Instead of I used to have a smoke when....it became I get to do this without needing or wanting a smoke. It takes a lot of practice and I can say it is still hard....but well worth it!
We are here as you can see. Keep reaching out. Something may resonate with you. Take what you like and leave the rest.
Roller
Thank you for the lists......
And pointing out the lozenge...
Start looking for the day you aren't angry.
Start looking for the day you realize you didn't think of smoking all day.
Expect more days after that.
(For many it happens a little before or after day 80.)
Wow everyone the support has been great.
I was "forced to quit". I could pay for band aid surgery that wouldn't take or last while smoking. Or I can move forward and fix a hereditary problem - that can be fixed if i put the cigarettes down.
I am fortunate enough to work and pay for health insurance and since feb (2 perio procedures) to present, I have been seeing an acupuncturist. Did it help with my quit? I think so. It helped with pain, detox symptoms, and cravings I still feel. BUT, and I can't pretend to understand why, my body is revolting according to the practitioner. I also had to use lozenge and I finally stopped this week. So maybe this is why I'm so off.
Thank you everyone
I once again woke up pissed off and want a cigarette!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did a 10 mile walk yesterday and I practiced 4 hours of yoga in group classes this week.
I supposedly look better than I have in years but I want to smoke.
Yes, it is because of the lozenges.
Deep breaths and know that we're all here to help you in any way we can, I remember being mad at the world and thought about relapsing many times but I wanted to live a better quality of living so I kept moving forward and stacking up my precious days of Freedom and my quit kept getting better and better life is without the crutch of cigarettes, you can and will be successful one precious Smokefree Day at a time or hour minute or even a second at a time but you must believe it and stick with N.O.P.E and vigilance because S.I.N.A.O Smoking Is Not An Option your health is worth so much more than going back to the slavery of the nicotine poison and congratulations on your precious 60 precious days WON hang on tight and don't let go of the best gift that you'll will ever give ourselves which is the gift of LIFE ....
Below are lists I made for myself early in my quit.
You are in NML. Things get so much better for most of us after 130 days. I think you will be so much more positive. Read about NML, (No man's land.) You are doing great
NML sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We have a weekly check in so you can find others who may be in a similar position. Check it out NML & Inbetweener Weekly Check In - 6/18/2018 - Keeping your quit precious. You can also search for NML, NML weekly check in, NML_caravan. Go to OldBones-Larry's blog. He writes about NML as a journey through the desert. It is some good stuff!
It will get better. 60 days is something to proud of. I never met a Dr. who would give permission to smoke. I quit smoking because I had a setback after eye surgery. I was off work because I had 3 surgeries in a 3 month period. I probably would have never quit, If I didn't have that to motivate me and couldn't stay off work. I think I just read so much about quitting and how bad smoking is and seeing both of my parents suffer from COPD, I brainwashed myself into being happy without smoking. Give it time-you have a great quit going but it's not much time relative to how long you smoked. You miss it now but you won't always. I had a dental implant 2 years ago and my periodontist would not have done it had I still been a smoker I also had an eye surgery 3 months ago for a detached retina which has worked so far.
I go back to my perio in 3 months.
I asked him to promise me we will move forward with implants after my appt. He wouldn't.
He asked if I could promise him not to smoke.
A very helpful point made- I stopped my 2mg lozenge Monday.....this Im assuming is part of my final withdrawl.
Thanks community.
If your happy bout your quit - keep going
If your not- try to use the anger not to smoke. I use profanities "f**** you cigs - Im not starting over. Thats my mantra.
Peace out all
Congratulations!
Good mantra! Keep going.
my emotion for always returning back to smoking was frustration and anger. Sometimes I would work myself into a tizzy just for an excuse to go back to smoking. Go to Relapse Prevention and read some there and also read UNDERSTANDING EXCUSES. there some chemical rejuvenation going on in your brain right now and during the next 4 months (130 days approx), your brain is slowly going back to its presmoking stage. We talked ourselves into smoking. We weren't born with a cigarette in our mouths. We put it there. We can talk ourselves out of smoking
This is absolutely not an easy journey but it GETS easier and you really have come so far. I remember the anger...I think part of the reason that is is so intense is because we stuffed it along with all other uncomfortable feelings...into smoking. Once we allow ourselves to FEEL, it's pretty overwhelming. I got so angry a few times that I kind of scared myself...can't speak for how I might have scared others. I CAN tell you that I have grown in many ways since I quit smoking. I have learned to deal with anger and sadness and fear and all other emotions that did not ALLOW myself to feel. I have not smoked in over 4 1/2 years...on the ten month anniversary of my quit...my house burned down and my husband and I lost everything we owned...all of the photographs of our family, our kids' school papers, treasures we had gotten from family members and the worst of all...the overwhelmingly difficult loss was our beloved three cats who were trapped in the house. OMG did I cry and cry and cry...NEVER did I consider smoking...I knew it wouldn't help anything. It wouldn't bring back my beloved "babies" or any of the things we lost...it would only contribute to my already severe COPD. You are growing, my friend, growing pains are real and we did everything we could NOT to feel them as we should have when we were growing up...somehow I am not sure if it would have been easier or harder to do it when our friends were growing up at the same time. I can tell you that I am THRILLED to not smoke any more...I do not regret quitting...I DO regret starting and the damage that it did to my poor lungs...not to mention my skin, my teeth, my bones...this addiction is a killer, it is NOT worth it...please care enough about yourself to stay away from those killers...take care of yourself before any more damage is done.
Best,
Ellen
I don't think any of us was really happy while quitting or while on NML. But it wasn't easy, and all of us went through what you are going through. While in NML I probably cried my heart out, and I really felt I lost my best friend (yeah, right?). What helped me was the positive self talk. No one else could change my state of mind and the way I look at quitting, but myself. I starting laughing at the craves, for as long as it took for them to go away. Getting dental implants is the best, I got 2 about 15 years ago, and they are still my strongest teeth. Keep thinking NOPE, SINAO
, I don't do that anymore.
Read blogs, meditate, LET GO of Anxiety, Fear & Worries: A GUIDED MEDITATION ➤ Harmony, Inner Peace & Emotional Healing - YouTube
I hope you will slowly realize what a great thing you are working on and will not longer be upset at yourself!
Daniela 834 DOF
Sorry for your problems. You hate yourself. Now, this is a lot, but not the first time I have heard about someone's anger. It seems that you were forced to quit smoking. Unfortunately, there is little that I can say to make you feel better. Only you have the answer to what can make you happy. Can you think of a reason to love yourself? Try telling yourself some positive things. Think of the benefits of not smoking. If you can not think of any, fake it until you make it. At 50 years old it may be the time you had to make a choice smoke or not smoke. Happy or Sad. It is all up to you, a choice.