60 full days in and I'm the most angry person on the planet

[gov62]

I quit! April 23rd in my periodontist's office before 2 major LANAP surgeries. Eat or smoke - my choices approaching 50 years old. 

 I choose food. My quit sucks. I miss coffee and alcohol. I have no social life and I'm walking around pissed off all day - every day.

I go back to my dr end of August to check my healing and how to move forward with implants. If by some chance he can't fix me I'm going to smoke again.

Can anyone please advise how to feel normal for an hour???? I hate myself.

[Barbara145]

You are in NML.  Things get so much better for most of us after 130 days.  I think you will be so much more positive.  Read about NML, (No man's land.)  You are doing great 

[gov62]

NML sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Roller831]

We have a weekly check in so you can find others who may be in a similar position.  Check it out NML & Inbetweener Weekly Check In - 6/18/2018 - Keeping your quit precious‌.  You can also search for NML, NML weekly check in, NML_caravan.  Go to OldBones-Larry‌'s blog.  He writes about NML as a journey through the desert.  It is some good stuff!

[freeneasy]

It will get better. 60 days is something to proud of. I never met a Dr. who would give permission to smoke.  I quit smoking because I had a setback after eye surgery. I was off work because I had 3 surgeries in a 3 month period. I probably would have never quit, If I didn't have that to motivate me and couldn't stay off work. I think I just read so much about quitting and how bad smoking is and seeing both of my parents suffer from COPD, I brainwashed myself into being happy without smoking. Give it time-you have a great quit going but it's not much time relative to how long you smoked. You miss it now but you won't always. I had a dental implant 2 years ago and my periodontist would not have done it had I still been a smoker  I also had an eye surgery 3 months ago for a detached retina which has worked so far.

[gov62]

I go back to my perio in 3 months. 

I asked him to promise me we will move forward with implants after my appt.  He wouldn't.

He asked if I could promise him not to smoke. 

A very helpful point made- I stopped my 2mg lozenge Monday.....this Im assuming is part of my final withdrawl.

Thanks community.

If your happy bout your quit - keep going

If your not- try to use the anger not to smoke. I use profanities "f**** you cigs - Im not starting over. Thats my mantra.

Peace out all

[elvan]

Congratulations!

[SaraPeach]

Good mantra! Keep going.

[crazymama_Lori]

my emotion for always returning back to smoking was frustration and anger.  Sometimes I would work myself into a tizzy just for an excuse to go back to smoking.  Go to Relapse Prevention‌ and read some there and also read https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2013/08/12/understanding-excuses?sr=search...‌.  there some chemical  rejuvenation going on in your brain right now and during the next 4 months (130 days approx), your brain is slowly going back to its presmoking stage.  We talked ourselves into smoking.  We weren't  born with a cigarette in our mouths.  We put it there.  We can talk ourselves out of smoking

[elvan]

This is absolutely not an easy journey but it GETS easier and you really have come so far.  I remember the anger...I think part of the reason that is is so intense is because we stuffed it along with all other uncomfortable feelings...into smoking.  Once we allow ourselves to FEEL, it's pretty overwhelming.  I got so angry a few times that I kind of scared myself...can't speak for how I might have scared others.  I CAN tell you that I have grown in many ways since I quit smoking.  I have learned to deal with anger and sadness and fear and all other emotions that did not ALLOW myself to feel.  I have not smoked in over 4 1/2 years...on the ten month anniversary of my quit...my house burned down and my husband and I lost everything we owned...all of the photographs of our family, our kids' school papers, treasures we had gotten from family members and the worst  of all...the overwhelmingly difficult loss was our beloved three cats who were trapped in the house.  OMG did I cry and cry and cry...NEVER did I consider smoking...I knew it wouldn't help anything.  It wouldn't bring back my beloved "babies" or any of the things we lost...it would only contribute to my already severe COPD.  You are growing, my friend, growing pains are real and we did everything we could NOT to feel them as we should have when we were growing up...somehow I am not sure if it would have been easier or harder to do it when our friends were growing up at the same time.  I can tell you that I am THRILLED to not smoke any more...I do not regret quitting...I DO regret starting and the damage that it did to my poor lungs...not to mention my skin, my teeth, my bones...this addiction is a killer, it is NOT worth it...please care enough about yourself to stay away from those killers...take care of yourself before any more damage is done.

Best,

Ellen

[Daniela2016]

I don't think any of us was really happy while quitting or while on NML.  But it wasn't easy, and all of us went through what you are going through.  While in NML I probably cried my heart out, and I really felt I lost my best friend (yeah, right?).  What helped me was the positive self talk.  No one else could change my state of mind and the way I look at quitting, but myself.  I starting laughing at the craves, for as long as it took for them to go away.  Getting dental implants is the best, I got 2 about 15 years ago, and they are still my strongest teeth.  Keep thinking NOPE, SINAO
, I don't do that anymore.

Read blogs, meditate, LET GO of Anxiety, Fear & Worries: A GUIDED MEDITATION ➤ Harmony, Inner Peace & Emotional Healing - ... 

I hope you will slowly realize what a great thing you are working on and will not longer be upset at yourself!

Daniela 834 DOF