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Give and get support around quitting

Roller831
Member

NML & In-betweener Check In 4/23/18 – Calling Everyone for Input!!!

We have this discussion every Monday to offer encouragement and camaraderie to those in NML, basically months 2-3-4 of a quit and for those who have not yet reached the 6% Club (1 year quit). Regardless of how long you’ve been quit, anyone who likes the conversation and wants to offer support is welcome to participate!

 

We are happy if you just stop by to say hi and let us know you are still with us in NML.  Feel free to offer up ideas on topic question and I will include them in next week’s post!  Stop by daily or as often as you like!  Don’t forget to post to the Daily Pledge! 

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This week’s topic: Share your moment!  It’s your time to shine!


I have something to say that might surprise you – I enjoyed No Man’s Land.  Really!  We talk about the “dangers” of NML so much that some people think it’s a scary place, but the truth is, No Man’s Land is something to celebrate!


You’re getting back to your life. Putting the roller coaster behind you.
J  Your quit meter is really adding up, you’re feeling better and looking better. You’ll probably have your first encounter with a doctor or dentist, and you’ll get to tell them you quit – I promise you, their response will make your day! You’ll start to feel a sense of freedom that can actually leave you a bit giddy. You’ll do the math on how much money you’ve saved, how much time you’ve saved, and you’ll start to feel like that smoker you remember was a different person.


Of course those bumps in the road are still there – quitting isn’t over, but you know how to deal with them. Because you took the time to learn and prepare. Most of the other blogs in this NML weekly series are about the bumps – let’s not forget to enjoy the rest of it! NML is an important part of your journey, so celebrate it!


And one day, maybe in month 4, maybe in month 6, maybe even later, you’ll have an Ah-Ha Moment that will make you laugh out loud.
See some of those moments below.  I am hoping we can ADD to them!!!


Dale’s Moment:

No Man’s Land ends when you realize smoking doesn't matter anymore because you haven't thought about it or being a smoker hardly at all. My moment was when I was driving up the familiar route to a jobsite I was on before I quit. I reached for my pack on my truck seat out of habit because I had done so many many times going up that hill. I like to call it "the ghost pack" and, I laughed because right at that moment I knew I was through.


SarahP’s Moment:

Mine was at the Atlanta airport, one of the last airports in the US at which you can smoke. I had an hour between flights, and the gate I arrived at was right next to my departure gate. The only thing separating them was the smoking lounge. I thought “too bad I don’t smoke anymore”. That random old junkie thought startled me so much that I laughed out loud. That was when I knew, truly knew, that smoking was behind me.

 

My Moment:

I went back to read some of my old blogs because I knew I had a moment but couldn’t quite remember when in NML it happened.  It was 39 days into my quit.  I took this from my old blog post (https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/rollercoaster831/blog/2017/07/31/now-i-get-itnml?sr=search...😞

 

I actually had a split second moment of panic followed by laughter!

 

I had just finished prepping food and getting a lot of things ready for the week.  It was almost 1PM and I was hungry for lunch, but wanted to get all the prep work done first.  After the prep was done, I paused...it hit me...I was getting ready to reward myself and "relax" by having a cigarette before heating up my lunch.  Of course, I did not.  This honestly was a quick moment of thought, but my husband noticed the pause and asked me what was wrong.  

 

I told him I was having a thought of a cigarette and smiled at him and said there is no way that will happen!  Then I laughed.  After weeks, I had a thought.  This was not a craving at all.  Just a thought.  An old habit because I would do this in the past.  I was going to "reward" myself with a smoke because I got a ton of stuff done.  I was going to "relax".  

 

NML.  Yep.  I get it now.  I am protecting this quit.  I can laugh at the thought.  I am aware it can happen.  I am grateful it didn't.  I am hopeful and determined it won't.


Whether you are in or out of NML, please share your Moment with us in the comments. If you’re in NML right now, never fear! You will have this moment! You will laugh out loud! You will smile as you say “whoa, I’m out and didn’t even realize it!”


ENJOY the journey! 

                                

                                                                                                       

(Taken from an old NML Blog Weekly post by SarahP)

 

Click here to read Dale’s helpful blog about No Man’s Land:https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-days-30-to130-appr...

Click here to read what to expect in the first four months: /blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months?sr=search...

 

Checking in here will help you get through NML and on your way to the first year where you can celebrate being in the 6% Club and graduate to eventually become an Elder!

 

Please let me know if you are interested in posting the NML Weekly Check In.  I am happy to continue it, share it, or pass it to the nEXt EXer in NML who is ready, willing, and able.

12 Replies
elvan
Member

Beautiful roller831‌, it is a great feeling when craves turn into memories...and they DO.  

Sandi4
Member

Hello All...Checking in with 121 Days.

I honestly can't say when I had "my moment." I believe it was sometime between 30 and 50 days.  During that time my daily internal battle subsided and I began to recognize that what I'd previously called cravings were actually memories as elvan‌ mentioned above. 

AnnetteMM
Member

Oh roller831, did you type the title before you had your coffee this morning LOL?

I am coming up on 120 days, which I didn't even realize means I'm almost through the desert!  The story I told this morning about picking up and throwing out yesterday's butts from the porch ashtray seems like a "moment."  Or maybe the day before when I said, " No, I'm okay, it's been long enough and you won't bother me," when asking about smoking near me.

0 Kudos
Roller831
Member

LOL!  Thanks, AnnetteMM‌!  It was before enough coffee!  I have corrected that!  Oops!  That is absolutely a moment!  I encourage you to blog it and note it FOREVER!  You will look back one day and be glad you did!

EXcellent job!

Roller

emilyt123078
Member

Hello! Day 53, almost 2 months!  My moment was today. I woke up early, went outside with my cup of tea to sit on the back porch. Running on autopilot, I saw a pack of cigarettes my husband left there overnight. Took a cigarette out, lit it and realized what I had just done. I didn't laugh. I was disgusted that it was that easy to forget what I was doing and empowering to know that I had a choice. I squished it in the dirt until there was nothing left of it and was thankful I made the choice to continue on with the day.

Roller831
Member

It is easy to forget, but know you made a great choice!  It is VERY empowering!  Remember the moment and glad you side stepped that landmine!

DLHaffner
Member

Good afternoon all, I've just entered NML.  Day 49 here.  I honestly don't care for the NML title because it implies no man can make it.  But I think a woman can.   Is that what NML implies?  This is a joke, calm down.   I feel a bit inadequate because I don't think I've had "a moment" as described above.   I mean I feel weird and foggy, and then sharp and crisp, and crazy a lot and laugh at my weird thoughts lately so it'd be a challenge to pin it to one.  My days are sort of like, busy, busy, I half finish a lot of things and if a thought of smoking comes up I look at this site or play "My Horse" on my phone, or watch a show, or do really anything until I forgot why I started doing that thing and then repeat. 

I'm convinced I'm not going to be able to stay stopped.  I know I can't not smoke forever. But it seems like I can handle WON day.  A lot of the days I just aim to complete the morning.  Then I'll reevaluate.  I procrastinate, God knows I'm good at that.  I am seriously underperforming at life but that's okay if I can be a non-smoker for right now.  

Next Monday's topic suggestion....gratitude...what differences have you noticed since you became a non-smoker.  What are you grateful for?

Thank you roller831

Roller831
Member

Make sure you are not setting yourself up for failure.  If you are convinced you won't be able to stay stopped, you won't and just gave yourself "permission" not to stay stopped.  Be sure to read https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-days-30-to130-appr...‌ by Dale JonesCarpeDiem‌.  You may find that helpful.

It is very reasonable to take this one day or moment at a time.  I choose not to think about forever.  I think about staying quit today...no matter what and why I pledge just that.  It is also ok that you haven't had a moment yet.  It will come....the timing is different for everyone!

I like your topic for next week and appreciate the suggestion!  I will get to work on that!  We call it Quititude!!! 

Roller

Jennifer-Quit
Member

My moment was day 80ish.  Two people that I truly admired both relapsed.  Others were relapsing what seemed like almost daily.  My nicodemon kept saying to me "If they cannot do this, why do you think that you can?".  I saw the same thing over and over - people who had smoked after they quit struggling with resetting the clock, struggling with taking the blame, and struggling with getting started again.  That week-end was my make it or break it time.  I did make it through that week-end and on Monday morning I knew that I would not smoke again.  I am not saying that I didn't have struggles past that time because unfortunately I did - but I knew that I could get thru it.