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Give and get support around quitting

MorgannaP
Member

How do you quit around roommates and fiance who smoke?

I am trying to quit smoking, but its been so difficult because my fiance and roommates both smoke, and they don't want to quit. So, naturally I am constantly around triggers. How did y'all get around this?

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6 Replies
JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Here is a link to what the experts on this site say.https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2017/06/21/quitting-when-you-live-wi...  Also if you click on the magnifying lens for the search and type what you are interested you will find topics. Welcome to EX

elvan
Member

Can you ASK them to support you in your journey?  They could do that through encouragement and by not smoking in the house or apartment.  You can talk about this site and how it is helping you...seriously, that is one of the things I did when I first came here.  Most smokers WANT to quit.  That's something to think about.  Read all that you can about nicotine addiction, make a PLAN for your quit..here is a link to a blog written by JonesCarpeDiem‌ /blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months  I read it and reread it at the beginning of my quit.  My mantra was NOPE, Not One Puff Ever, it was simple and I could say it over and over again silently AND out loud if need be.  Here is a link to planning...My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX  You can also go to Quit.com and read stories of others, just like you can here.  I came here every morning and every evening at the beginning of my quit and I try to do that after more than four years of freedom that I am CERTAIN would never have happened without the support and encouragement that I got from here.

Welcome to EX...remember that quitting is a journey, not an event and that it happens one day at a time, one experience at a time.  You CAN do this...no crave ever killed anyone but no one can say that about smoking.  Every person here had to start at a first day...we understand.

Ellen

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YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

There have been a fair number of successful quitters here who have lived with smokers. It CAN be done.  Asking them to smoke outside and keep their supplies out of your sight is the best idea.  They may balk because they will miss their smoking "buddy," but if you stand firm and show them how it's done, they might just join you in QUITTING!

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested in My Quit Plan http://www.becomeanex.org/my-quit-plan.php

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

bonniebee
Member

I had the same problem when trying to quit and lost a number of short attempts at quitting because of it .

I finally reached a point where I wanted to quit no matter what ! I decided to change my thinking and made up my mind that it was my choice and it was my quit and i Would no longer blame others for my failure. Smoking became not an option for me. Once I came to this decision my room mates smoking no longer had the same "power"  over me . 

Our thoughts are powerful ! Begin changing your thinking replace all negative thought with a positive one, it really works !

The more I came to Ex the stronger  I became because so many successful Ex'ers are positive thinkers and 

it rubbed off on me !

I was a 52 year smoker, if I did it I know you can too, you can have the freedom you long for, you have the God -given power within you to break those chains of addiction.

Praying for you , 

Love Bonnie Bee

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Giulia
Member

If you want to quit, seriously want to quit - NOTHING will stand in your way.  Roommates, fiance' - granted they all make it a bit harder, but if quitting is your goal, and you intend to achieve it - I repeat - NOTHING will stand in your way.

OK moving on from there - then - what do you need to do to accomplish your goal?  Given your housing circumstances.  Ask them all to smoke outside?  Unlikely that's gonna happen.  Although - they probably all wish THEY could stop.  So - maybe they'll do that for you because they "get it?"  

You know, in your case, I would think you'd really have to WANT to quit.  Sounds like you do.  Part of our homework here is figuring out how to make this work for ourselves under all circumstances.  No excuses are allowed when you agree to quit.  Roommates, fiance' ...  

We can't make it easier for you.  We can only steer your mind to the easier way of thinking about the quitting process. And point you to the blogs that we think will help.   https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2013/08/12/understanding-excuses 

freeneasy
Member

"I am trying to quit smoking" Replace that with "I'll show them it can be done" because you can quit. A smoke-free life is yours for the taking.

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