Resetting the quit date and dealing with anxiety

[Kamella]

This may be a little on the negative side and I apologize but I feel like discussing it here, honestly with you all with be helpful...so here goes. I’m going to tell on myself and admit that I have reset my quit date several times. I really decided that I want to stop smoking a few weeks ago and, not that this is an accolade, I have made some small positive changes and have at least cut down. My problem is this- I didn’t realize just how much of my life I dedicated to smoking over the last year. I have been smoking for over 20 years and have always had a full life until this past year. It’s a yin and yang situation. I met the love of my life and moved in, he is very supportive of my quitting and did so himself five years ago. I am now unemployed though, for the first time in ages and am living in a relatively new area so not too many social connections. I spend a great deal of time just sitting in my yard with coffee and smoking- without that, it’s like my life is completely empty! I know it sounds rediculous and I have a great amount of guilt. I am in a good place and I do have things to do to keep myself busy, distractions, etc. I’ll also be back to work shortly but for now it’s overwhelming and at the very least, I’m getting this “secret” out and telling on myself.Thoughts? Again, I apologize for the gloom! Lol. 

[Chuck-2-20-2011]

What I find to be the most important part of your blog is that you said "resetting my quit date". That to me says you haven't given up on quitting. You're ready to fight the good fight and you want to win! I like that you're cutting down. I did the same. In fact, during my preparation, I used to go several hours and even an entire day when I was prepping. I called them "practice quits" and I used them to get an idea of what I was going to encounter when I finally DID quit.

 Have you studied addiction yet? There's a lot of knowledge out there about addiction that can help you to create a concrete plan for success. I know I changed my quit date several times before I finally decided it was time. I think you may be dealing with a fear of the unknown right now; wondering if you're primed for success. Fear of the unknown is a natural human reaction that I believe comes from our earliest days as humans. Kind of a defense mechanism, if you will.

The only was to really calm that fear is to understand yourself and how you relate to your addiction. What I did was learn my triggers (the things in life that makes you want to smoke) and my urges and how those urges communicated with me. Never be ashamed of not being quite ready so long as you don't lose sight of the original goal of freedom.

 Please keep us posted and study all you can! I know it's within you to win this fight!

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

Chuck

[Kamella]

That reply was incredibly uplifting, thank you. Yes, practice quits, baby steps. I was just reading Nicotine Addiction 101 on WhyQuit.com and learning about how nicotine hijacks or dopamine receptors, etc, etc. and it is helpful to know. Onward to more education for me. I’m incredibly hopeful that this will be my final “practice quit” and finally just do this. I never thought that quitting smoking would be such a journey! I’m so glad to have this community and support from folks such as you, thank you! 

[Cricket]

Kamella, I want you to think about your activities in life.  What makes you content?

You know, that warm fuzzy feeling of all is well, feeling smart or especially helpful in someway.

That cozy feeling is alot like dopamine, so it would help you to identify or create an activity

That makes you feel that way.  When you smoke a cigarette it is a shortcut to that feeling  (about 7 seconds to reach your brain)  but that route is short lived ,  Witch is why some people want another cigarette 15 or 30 minutes later.  

I quit smoking 28 days ago  so I understand what you are feeling.  But what I read is you have some time to spear!  That is a wonderful commodity....time!!  You can find something special just for you to fill it!!  Me? I make reborn dolls!  The painting keeps my mind and my hands busy!  It is quite a learning process so there is always something to study to improve!

Staying busy with something that makes you feel good about yourself will help ease your fears.  At some point you just....Do it.  You get rid of your cigarettes, lighters and ashtrays and just quit!  (Make sure you get ALL tobacco including butts! You REALLY don't want to come across any anytime soon!)  Your mind can be a horrible thing at times!   It has to be your Decision to quit. Once you quit you just take it one minute hour or day at a time.  Part of my fear was that I could not envision being a non-smoker.  Quit is such a strong word!  In the weeks before I quit I practiced going longer times without smoking.  (I got a few extra chores done because I would do the dishes before I went out for a smoke. )  Smoking is a form of instant gradafication, so I would try for deeper gradafication instead, if that makes any sense.  The little mini quits helped me to gain confidence and also learn not to lie to myself about how many cigarettes I had smoked that day....if I was lying to myself now, how would I ever be truthful to myself after i had quit?  Honesty to self comes down to the Decision to quit.  The decision has to to with the commitment to ride it out no matter how tough it gets.  That being said. The quit plan is a predetermined understanding  of HOW you can ride out certain cercumstances that you know you will come across.  I am a coffee drinker and my favorite spot is the swing on the front porch.

I live in Florida, so I did not want to give up my swing!  Everyone said for me to drink my coffee in the house, but the morning birds are outside!

Soo What did I do?  I replaced my ashtray (on the table next to swing) with nicorett gum.  Sure enough, the next morning after I quit I found myself in my swing reaching.....I saw the gum there and said "Oh yah I don't smoke anymore!"

Learn what your triggers are and plan an alternative....and worst case senerio head for the tub, a hot bath and a round of singing kum ba ya!!  Great song with a great tune.  You can plug any emotion into it feel sorry for yourself encourage yourself or both... (I did both, but nobody was home!)  Good luck. God bless, You CAN do this!  I smoked for 37 years, I never thought I would make it this far, Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

Cricket

[YoungAtHeart]

I hope you will take advantage of the reading material I linked for you in your last blog.  I also hope you will do the tracking and separation exercises outlined on this site.  There is lots of work you can put in during this down time.  I also suggest you start an exercise routine.  Good for now - good for when you quit.

No problem with a not so sunny blog - we have all been there!

Nancy

[Kamella]

I read a few articles- Addiction 101 to start- and honestly, I’m now ending my day with out as much anxiety for tomorrow. Education is valuable to me, let me know if you have any other helpful links or tips? Giving you virtual hugs and gratitude! I will use the tracker and separation exercises as well. Baby steps and thanks again for holding my hand.  

[crazymama_Lori]

and you know what, that's completely normal.  Mylanta, look at how many years you've been smoking.  In my case I was a chain smoker and did that for 43 years.  I remember sitting thinking to myself, how in the world am I ever going to get through this?  I had so many thoughts just ping-ponging in my head.  What if, what if.  Quitting smoking is like the first day of school.  You anticipate it being really bad and once you do it, you realize it's not really so bad after all.  You really go through the stages of grief when you first quit or even before you quit.  you have the bargaining stage where you rationalize, I'll just have one after a meal every day and that will be fine.  That's only 3 cigarettes.  Or I'll just smoke 4 cigarettes a day.  I even went as far as wrapping them up in saran wrap and then I had to unwrap them every time when I wanted one.  I don't have to tell you how long that lasted. 

My biggest suggestion to you is once you've completed Smoking Trigger Tracker Tool | Guides & Tools | BecomeAnEX , please visit Newbie Quitters‌ and read some there and also Best of EX‌.  Therein contains some very useful and timeless knowledge saved to share with those that are serious about quitting smoking and also understanding how nicotine works inside our brains and bodies, How Nicotine Addiction takes over (and what to do about it!) .  Be sure to use the search feature on the right-hand side of your screen to find answers to questions you may have along the way.  I can guarantee you that at some point or another someone at sometime has or had the same feelings you are questioning.  We're just a bunch of former smokers helping other smokers quit and stay quit !!!

[Kamella]

That’s for sure what I’m going through now but I also for sure feel better about coping. Thanks for the advice, I will do the work. Thank you! 

[Sootie]

Well---not TOO gloomy-----you did say

I've met the love of my life

He's supportive

I'm in a good place

These are all PRETTY POSITIVE statements!!!

As YoungAtHeart‌ said....take some time to educate yourself about this terrible addiction. Your life sounds like it only has the potential to get better and better and quitting will only add to that. Try whyquit.com for great inspiration, set that quit date, stick to it, keep in touch on this site and let us help.

Stay Strong.

[Kamella]

You’re right, I do have it pretty darn good right now, thank you for helping me turn my perspective a bit, I needed that. I got this, I think.