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Give and get support around quitting

cat52
Member

Feeling Fragile-Help!!!

Today will be 20 DOF for me! I am proud of myself and do not want to turn back. However, I am feeling very weak and fragile this morning. As I mentioned before, my oldest daughter has mental issues which she refuses to get treatment for and she creates a lot of drama in my life. I can not just remove myself from her, because my 4 yr old grandson is involved. Well, she was having a bad weekend and instead of relaxing and doing things to help keep myself on track- I got wrapped up in the drama. I have not smoked, but I had dreams last night that I did and in my dream it tasted so good and made me so relaxed. I woke up feeling anxious about this and everything going on. I normally try to get busy and go somewhere when stressed and tempted, but it is icy and cold out and I am trapped inside with my thoughts, UGH!!! I need help to get me positive again.  Thanks, Cathy 

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9 Replies
anaussiemom
Member

You won't become relaxed from a sick stick.   They do not taste good!  Take a hot bath, run in place, do something with your hands to relax,   You got this.   Sick sticks , will cause more drama for you. 

cat52

I will pray for relaxing thoughts, and healing prayers for you all.

Take the wheel Jesus.
with love and light.

Amen.

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cat52
Member

Thanks for the prayers!!!

Mandolinrain
Member

Yes, prayers for you as soon as I finish typing this. Meanwhile, deep breaths. I found one of the hardest things to do was to deal with 'things' without smoking over it. This may be a good time to recognize you are handling a situation that you would normally smoke over and the smoke will not change the outcome of the situation. The only thing it will do will be to set you back to day one. Okay, gonna stop and pray now for you. You can do this!

Those smoking dreams can surely throw you for a loop.  Sometimes they pop up when we're stressed because that's the way the brain has been trained to calm itself.  I also have a drama queen daughter, so that part I can relate to.  She didn't live with me in my early part of my quit, but moved back home close to a year now.  What I have noticed in my case is that if I don't react and feed into the drama, it doesn't last as long as it used to.  She used to rant and rave for hours on end.  Sometimes it was like dealing with a two-year-old all over again.   I wrote this blog a while back, https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/thread/17041-ive-heard-this-song-before , it's got two links to some articles at the end that I found that made sense to me.  At that point, she was back living with me for 9 months and I was starting to struggle.  I knew I had to find for myself different ways of coping and dealing with the drama.  I hope those articles can provide you some help also.

cat52
Member

I just read the articles-very helpful!!! Thank you.

Morning Cathy,I'm sorry you're is such an Emotional Situation. Let Go and Let God....

Try closing your eyes and take deep breaths, in and out-try to Focus only on the deep breathing.

The anxiety will slowly disappear. 20 days is AWESOME! You can do this....

Maybe this sounds silly, but I have a small stone,actually petrified wood I found on our land.

I have carried that stone with me for about 25 yrs. I have it in my pocket or very close,all the time now.

Whenever feeling anxiety, I put it in my hand and just keep moving it.The stone is shiny from all the times 

I held it and kept rubbing on it...to keep myself from exploding.

Find an object: a rubber band,small ball,paper clip, pencil ad doodle paper...anything you can use to calm 

yourself as practice deep breathing. We are all re-learning natural breathing. Hang in there...

I know you can make it... I will lift you in prayer too. Keda

YoungAtHeart
Member

Find a quiet place, sit with your forearms on your thighs.  Close your eyes. As you breathe in, slowly count to  ten while raising your arms to shoulder height- keeping elbows bent.  Slowly exhale while counting to 10, and let your forearms gently lower back to your thighs.  Repeat, going slower and deeper with your breath.  If thoughts intrude acknowledge them and send them on their way.

Try to fit some brisk exercise into your day to keep your stress levels under control.  Even marching in place can work.

Life is always gong to happen.  How do you think people who never smoked deal with its stresses?

Hang in there!  Remember that there is never a good reason to smoke, there are only excuses.

Nancy

MichelleDiane
Member

I love mindfulness meditation Nancy.  It does really work.

-Michelle

(Hope you are doing well)

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MichelleDiane
Member

Hi Cathy.  It is hard when you have constant stress.  I have a special needs daughter and at times I need to take a step back.  My usual step back included going on my deck and smoking.  That didn't change her behaviors and most probably made them worse.  For today I am choosing to not smoke.  I don't think any further than that because I will become overwhelmed.  I found an app for my phone called Calm.  It has so many wonderful meditations I can do.  I usually do 10 minutes as I don't have too much time in the morning to do longer, but I am planning on doing a long one tonight to get me ready for the week.  I am finding that it does calm me and takes away the stress in a healthy way.  You're doing wonderfully.  Congratulations on 20 days WON.

-Michelle