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Give and get support around quitting

MamaCanuck
Member

Psyching up to Quit

I have as many strategies in place as excuses for pushing back my quit date. I'm going to be 50 in a few months & I want to be on the better side of statistics. I really WANT to quit, problem is my partner smokes & isn't ready to. Nicotine withdrawal, I've got products for that, but the pyschological hurdle of stopping procrastinating and just doing it on my own seems so huge. If anyone can direct me to a discussion group and/or suggested reading, I'd greatly appreciate it.

15 Replies
JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Welcome to the RLS Conference Blog! | Ignite Your Passion ...

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/newbie-quitters/blog/2018/01/18/is-today-your-quit-date

 

Congratulations on making the decision to quit smoking.  It is one of the best things you can do to save you life. We all made EXcuses not to quit.  Many here have done just that and lived with a smoker.  Some partners joined them after their quit started.  The idea is to start at the beginning by making a commitment that no matter WHO what is happening  in your life you will not use it as an EXcuse to smoke. With that philosophy you will have success on this journey. 

No it is not easy but it is doable by using that principle and educating yourself about nicotine addiction.   If you hang around you will see that yes you can and will.   Look forward a new way of life that does not include smoking.  It is all up to you and what you are willing to do to be smoke free.  Quitting smoking requires hard work and determination not to give up.   It can be challenging at times but you will learn that it is doable if you adhere to NOPE not one puff ever no matter what. 

Start first, by educating yourself about nicotine addiction because

Education is the key to a successful quit.  

Read: Freedom from Nicotine My Journey Home and Nicotine Addiction 101 

Here are the links: http://whyquit.com/whyquit/LinksAAddiction.html   and http://whyquit.com/ffn/

I also encourage you to read. Allen Carr’s book, “Easy Easier Way to Quit Smoking”.       

 Go to http://www.becomeanex.org/how-to-quit-smoking.php#thl  and Start at the beginning.

Daniela2016
Member

Welcome, you are in the right place, Jackie already offered some things to read, please let me add to them.

Get yourself ready, build a tool box of things to help you during the first weeks, the first months.

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-...

Please come back, and blog about your first day, we'll be here to support you along the way!

YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

There are a fair number of people active here who quit while folks in their household continued to smoke.  I think the most important things are that they smoke outside, out of your sight, and that they keep their cigarettes, lighter and ashtray(s) also out of your sight.  I hope some who have been successful with smokers in the house will chime in!

You should set a quit date - just DO it.  Life is ALWAYS going to happen, and using it as an excuse not to quit is just that - an excuse.  There is NEVER a good reason not to quit.  I think you will understand this a  bit better after you have completed the recommended reading.

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I also recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. 

You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested in My Quit Plan http://www.becomeanex.org/my-quit-plan.php

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

MichelleDiane
Member

I don't know if this will help MamaCanuck, but this is my thought process and has been for several years.  Actually a fear.  My father died when he was 54.  He smoked and had multiple heart attacks.  I was three months pregnant with me second child.  I will never forget that call at 2:00am.  I screamed and fell to the floor.  I was so close to my Dad.  Well, I continued to smoke, but my 81 year old grandmother quit to make it easier for him after his third heart attack.  How amazing that my Mom couldn't quit (wouldn't) and my Dad didn't.  Since his passing, up to my quit, I feared my death to be like his.  I am 53 now and have had many quit attempts.  Each time I failed I felt fear along with despair.  I couldn't fathom dying and leaving my husband or children, yet I was not quitting.  I am near my 54th birthday and cannot shake this feeling about dying, but I know I have given myself a very needed gift.  I do believe my father is sighing up in heaven and is proud of me for doing something he was never able to do.  Although sad til this day, I am grateful for his message to me.  I miss him terribly.  I want to celebrate my adult children's achievements and one day their marriages along with having grandchildren.  My father did not get to meet two of his grandchildren and only had 2 years with my son.  Sorry for this long response.  I just wanted to see if something I could say would be helpful.  Please stay strong and know that you have made an awesome decision.  

-Michelle

Giulia
Member

Quitting while living with someone who smokes is a subject that has been brought up quit a bit.  You can do a search in the community search box, but here are a couple of items that may give you some insight:

Quitting when you live with smokers 

/blogs/Michwoman-blog/2013/05/29/quitting-when-you-live-with-a-smoker 

Some of the responses on the following blog may help too:  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/message/106979-re-my-partner-smokes?commentID=106979#comment-1069... 

I think part of the psychological difficulty people have living with smokers while they're in the throes of quitting is that sometimes they  think "I wish I could smoke like them."  There a feeling of jealousy.  Believe me, however, when you educate yourself enough about this addiction you'll discover the complete opposite.  The more you get to know the people on here who are living with the very immediate negative affects of cigarettes, the more you'll begin to think "thank God I don't do that any more."  

It's really just about commitment.  If you are 100% committed to achieving your smoke-free goal NO MATTER WHAT, nothing will deter you.  That and understanding excuses (which you seem to already).  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2013/08/12/understanding-excuses?sr=search...   

You can do this.  Say YES to it.

indingrl
Member

Welcome Mamacanuck  and thank you for helping ME remembering what was SUGGESTED to ME make up your OWN MIND and CHOOSE for your OWN self then MAKE the DECISION to QUIT using NICOTINE to escape MY OWN PAIN ISSUES and trying to NOT be responsible for MY OWN SELF to deal with life and I used nicotine in MY sick mind to smoke ar life and people and NOW I TRY take it ONE day at a time and NOT TAKE ONE PUFF OVER ME no matter what! I personally tried to quit many times with researching nicotine meetings going to hear people talk about how they quit and share HOW they STAY quit and I tried the nicotine gum the nicotine patches and I tried on MY OWN smoking different brands trying filter non filter rolling MY own I just kept failing because I NEVER made the decision to admit to MY inner most SELF I am a nicotine addict... Joel at whyquit.com helped ME face MY denial with the videos at whyquit.com I watched Byron's early death video and his video saved MY life by bringing ME out of MY DENIAL i thought others would die NOT ME from lung cancer ....it happens to OTHERS NOT ME i I had to face the truth in ME. I came here read the blogs and I was using 2-3 cigs a day and exercising. Please take what helps and leave the rest to be helpful is MY only aim thank you. I used nicotine for 38 years and at the end I was smoking 50 cigs a day and weighed 275 pounds and I was born again November 6, 1986... one night I hit MY bottom using nicotine I was defeated and  I dropped  to MY knees and prayed to Jesus... Dear Jesus if you dont take this cigarettes from

ME I will smoke them until I drop dead in Jesus name amen.  The next day I received a Cold Turkey quit. I have been coming back here TRYING to help all who suffer from nicotine. They SUGGESTED here for ME to educate MYSELF about MY nicotine addiction for ME not anyone else just ME so I read the blogs here by people who were STAYING QUIT and I took ALL their suggestions  and I stayed on this site for FIRST 90 days for ME reading blogs writing blogs about anything and everything and thats MY RECOVERY from nicotine story and only by Gods grace I weigh 200 pounds and just celebrated staying quit for SEVEN YEARS on January 6, 2011 MY COLD TURKEY QUIT DATE and God willing WE can stay quit Together!  I hope you keep on keeping on and decide for You Mamacanuck CONGRATS on loving YOU to blog with such courage and helpfulness to help ME REMAIN quit this evening thank you for saving MY life! 

MarilynH
Member

Welcome to the community, please do the recommended reading above me because it'll help strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb and start living a life of Freedom....

singletary13
Member

Hi I'm a beginner in quoting and for me I think its going to be really tough because my husband,my friends, and family all smoke so I was hoping for so helpful tip I'm doing this all by myself !?

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Giulia
Member

singletary13‌  You are most definitely NOT doing this all by yourself.  There is a whole universe of us who are in all stages of the journey here.  And we will take this walk with you.  Have no fear.  Come to the The Daily Pledge January 2018  the day you've quit and grab a hand.  You will find others on the same path.  Write a blog and tell us about your journey.  Simply click on the 1)  Pencil icon (upper right).  Then on 2)  blog post.  3)  Give it a title, 4) type what you'd like and click on 5)) Publish.

1)      2)

3)

4)5)

Meanwhile, just keep reading and learning.  That's how we all began.  Have heart!

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