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Give and get support around quitting

Roller831
Member

NML Weekly Check In – 12/13/2017

We have this discussion every Wednesday to offer encouragement and camaraderie to those in NML, basically months 2-3-4 of a quit.  Regardless of how long you’ve been quit, anyone who likes the conversation and wants to offer support is welcome to participate!

 

We are happy if you just stop by to say hi and let us know you are still with us!  Feel free to offer up ideas on topic question and I will include them in next week’s post!  Stop by daily or as often as you like!  Don’t forget to post to the Daily Pledge! 

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This week’s topic: Are you in NML?

Are you about a month into your quit? Are you feeling a little down, a little lost? Don’t fret – you’re entering No Man’s Land, the 100 days that start about the time your first month ends.

The first month of a quit is emotional and exhausting, you’re living in the moment and focusing all of your energy on your brand new quit. Around the one-month mark, things start to change, and you spend the next 100 days or so in a place called “No Man’s Land.”

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If you're in NML, give a shout!  Tell us how long you've been quit and how you're feeling! 


ENJOY the journey through NML! 

 

In No Man’s Land, you’ve come a long way, but still have a long way to go. The routine cravings are gone but the surprise cravings can knock you to your knees. Your family and friends think you should be “over it” while you still feel quite fragile sometimes. Your relationships with smoking friends/family may be feeling strained. Your inner junkie is still around, still whispering to you, and the temptation to give in can be every bit as strong as it was in your first few days.

But here’s the good news. In these same 100 days, for most people, your circulation has improved substantially, walking has become easier, and your overall lung function has increased noticeably. Sinus congestion, fatigue, and shortness of breath have decreased. Your body's overall energy has increased. The roller coaster is smoothing out, and you are feeling calmer and stronger overall. Good things are happening! (Courtesy of @sarahP)

 

                                

Click here to read Dale’s helpful blog about No Man’s Land:https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-days-30-to130-appr... 

Click here to read what to expect in the first four months: /blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months  

 

Checking in here will help you get through NML and on your way to the first year where you can celebrate being in the 6% Club and graduate to eventually become an Elder!

 

Please let me know if you are interested in posting the NML Weekly Check In.  I am happy to continue it, share it, or pass it to the nEXt EXer in NML who is ready, willing, and able.

Tags (2)
17 Replies
gottastop2
Member

Thanks for posting this! I have one month and one day. I feel pretty good about it most of the time, but every once in a while a craving hits me out of no where. I drink a lot of water and that has helped get rid of the cravings when they come. I appreciate the information and encouragement in this community!!

Roller831
Member

gottastop2‌ I encourage you to read the two links in the post which explains NML.  Please be vigilant and don't get caught by NML.  Larry, the Caravan Master, OldBones-Larry‌, would lead people through the NML desert and tell them to be wary of Desolation Point and Relapse Rocks.  His blogs are also informative.  I found the weekly check in helpful so I could reach out for assistance and let others know I was doing ok.  I had an ok time in NML, but some don't fare so well.  We are here if/when you need us.  You can do this!

YoungAtHeart
Member

Stay vigilant, fellow  travelers!  I had probably the worst, most difficult day of my quit around Day 106.  I had an intense crave that just wouldn't seem to let up - and I started to think this whole quit thing was just TOO hard.  I felt as though I was NEVER going to get to that wonderful place all of the elders described.  Luckily, I reached out here for help.  A member gave me their phone number and they became my lifeline.  They talked me down - and here I am 5+ years later, enjoying every minute of being in that wonderful place we elders still describe.

Be sure to ask for help BEFORE you smoke if you get in a difficult place.  Somebody will be here  to talk you down off that ledge.

You are almost THERE - keep going!

Nancy

elvan
Member

I had a crying jag around day 60 and it lasted for three days, I could not stop and I could not explain it.  Dale told me that it was okay, I was just watering my cheeks.  It made me laugh and while I never did figure out what was going on...I accepted the fact that it was part of the journey.  The attention and the support I got from this site, from OldBones-Larry‌ in particular every Wednesday...helped me along the way and I have never regretted a step that I took.  NML is challenging but it also gives you a great deal of strength...you get stronger every day you are on this journey.

TurboRose
Member

I graduated from NML. I'll continue to come back and check-in until I make the smooth transition to the In-Between thread.  It's a matter of me getting use to a new routine.  Leaving this thread just because I met a specific threshold was too abrupt. This thread became my safety net and I haven't gotten into the rhythm of the Monday check-in yet. Until then, I'll be around. 

Michele 166 DOF

Roller831
Member

I feel the same, TurboRose which is why I think two threads are necessary.  Anyone is welcome to either thread!  there is no magic wand that says "poof" on Day 131 you are out of NML and automatically in the in-between stage.  It happens at a different time for everyone.  You are welcome anywhere you choose or both!

Gma_Bernie
Member

Thanks for posting this and for having this forum for newbies. I am only 10 days quit. But I have quit many times. I have smoked for 48 years and have COPD, emphysema. The Cravings are not too bad now because I'm on the patch, but I do feel, but I do feel like I'm entering no man's land. My husband seems to think that I should be over it by now but I'm far from it. I feel very fragile. To help me be accountable to myself I have been posting Facebook videos and have gotten a lot of encouragement from family and friends. Some even say they look forward to my videos. I have been very truthful on them and started posting them before I actually quit. Documenting digging butts out of the garbage just for a few puffs. I think that they appreciate my honesty. I really need a site like this to check in and I hope that this is the one. How do I make sure I get new posts from this site? Is there a follow button? I will look. Thank you. Bernie.

Roller831
Member

Welcome, Gma_Bernie‌ Bernie!  I found this site on the first day of my quit.  

Welcome!  I know when I first found this site, many Elders told me to read read read….and I did.  Elders are those with one or more years of being quit.  If you like what someone has to say, then you may want to read their blogs.  I have some listed below.

 

A list of our Elders  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2017/06/18/elders-list-ao-december-7-2016 

 

So here's the thing.....and you may not like what I am about to say....and that's ok.  I get it.  You need to accept that this is an addiction.  Before you do that, it will be much more difficult to quit and stay quit. 

 

Read read read.  Do the steps to PREPARE yourself to quit.  Do the steps so you are PREPARED on quit day and for the days AFTER quit day.  

 

Some of the things I read in my first few days that helped me:

JonesCarpeDiem Dale’s Welcome to New Members My Welcome To New Members (10 Years Of Watching) His blog is amazing, too!

 

YoungAtHeart Nancy’s Blog /blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke 

 

/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months 

 

Visit https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex?sr=search&searchId=5a26eeed-b44f-4d23-b6c5-f483...

And read what has been posted there.

If you go to https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/community-help?sr=search&searchId=4632d00c-7035-4b4c-94...‌, you will find information on how to get email notifications and how to follow threads and people.  Then, you will see it pop up in your inbox on the site or your email address.

I highly recommend reading Alan's Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking book.  I received the recommendation to read it from this site.  I opted to listen to the book on CD and had it on repeat in my car for the first two weeks into my quit.  That book along with this site were the most helpful in my quit.

Roller 176 DOF (Days of Freedom)

 

 

Anya
Member

Hi! I'm new to NML and excited to have gotten this far. I'm still dealing with low energy at times, and just not feeling "right" (in other words, feeling unsettled, uncomfortable, blah, sad or anxious). Geesh! But over-all, I'm feeling healthy and calmer.

I've lost quits during NML in the past, so I need to be vigilant. Plus, I appreciate the support:)

Anya

day 31

"Breathe deeply and smile"