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Give and get support around quitting

TW517
Member

I'm a whiner, but...

I’m a whiner.  When a cold or flu goes thru our household, I am the biggest complainer, even if my symptoms were less and lasted for a shorter period than my wife and kids.  If the boss makes everyone stay late to complete a project, my inconvenience far outweighs everyone else’s.  I know this about myself, and I’ve been working on improving this bad trait for years. 

 

When I was 30, 40, 50, even 60 days into my quit, I was struggling and complaining about it even though it seemed like most of the people who quit around the same time as me were feeling great.  I attributed this to my typical whiney nature.  But after reading Doug’s blog /blogs/dwwms-blog/2017/11/28/250-days-and-yet  and Dale’s response,

Doug, I've never pinpointed the connection from when people quit using nicotine long term as to how it relates to no mans land. There's just no way I can get any data. That being said....perhaps it has a relation to how your feeling if you've only been off nicotine for 45 days.That being said, give it some more time. It'll pass.

 

As a Cold Turkey quitter, now I’m wondering if maybe my struggles were a bit more real than just perceived.  Obviously, someone on a 21mg patch who is also taking 4mg of gum or lozenges occasionally to get thru those “rough patches”, is not feeling anything like a cold turkey quitter at that same point in time.  So now I’m wondering how many of those who seemed to be doing so much better than me, were on NRTs and what dosage.

 

It seems the most common question for Newbies is, “Is what I’m feeling now normal?”  But if a Cold Turkey quitter is comparing themselves to an NRT quitter who posts a similar “DOF” tagline, they are doing themselves a disservice.  I kind of wish there were 2 Quit Dates in the “My Quit Plan” section of our website.  One for the day you quit smoking cigarettes (well worth celebrating regardless if you are still using NRTs) and another for the day you quit using any kind of nicotine.  Thoughts?  Other than, "Oh Tom, quit your whining!"

74 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

"Oh, Tom, quit your whining!"  (there always has to be ONE in the crowd!!!)

Really, though........since there are two parts to this addiction, the physical and psychological, there are also two parts to how a person feels.  I'm not sure a person on NRT's has any reduction in the psychological triggers.  If you go the Smart Turkey route, the nicotine is out of your system in a short time, but there is still the body's adjustment to life without it, and the NRT people hopefully reduce the dosage over time and thus might have an easier physical transition from it.  I might agree with you on that ------

But  - after all is said and done, why would you want to compare your experience time-wise to another's?  Are you really trying to prove to yourself (or others) that you DID have it tougher?

In the larger scheme of things, it doesn't matter.  You quit!  You DID it!  And you have a lot for which to be proud!  Enjoy your freedom!    Don't sweat the small stuff!

TW517
Member

Excellent points!  I suspect there was some trying to prove to myself that I had it tougher.

Jennifer-Quit
Member

I used the patch for 6 weeks and still managed to complain -   I really think that it has to do with personalities. When I first started there was a member who was a couple of months ahead of me.  She was here everyday handing out advise and encouragement to everyone.  There were no signs of her struggling until she had "just one".  She never really got her momentum going again and eventually left the site.  I guess what I am trying to say is that if someone isn't complaining, it does not mean that they are not having any struggles.  BTW - I don't recall you being a  whiner!

TW517
Member

Ah yes, you are quite right.  I too complained on previous quits that I used NRTs on.  I guess my typical whines are about seeking sympathy.  But I think my smoking withdrawal rants were more "misery seeking company" or trying to feel some camaraderie.  And everyone is struggling with something, so I guess we all are in this together

Roller831
Member

Quit your whining!    So...I did not use NRT.  I did use Chantix but stopped that after 1 week into my quit (so I used it a total of 3 weeks) because the side effects were so bad.  I honestly have had a pretty easy time generally speaking with my 160 DOF.  We are all different.  Our experiences are different.  No quit is alike even if you have the same DOF.  Whether or not NRT's are used or not, the experience for each of us is unique since we are unique individuals.  THAT is something to celebrate.  Does it mater whose quit is worse?  It is in the eye of the quitter, right?

At the end of the day, you quit!  THAT is the celebration!

Roller 

160 DOF from sickarettes AND nicotine

TW517
Member

Of course you are right!  I loved crazymama_Lori‌'s blog this morning.  I think we all (especially me) want to know that we are doing it right, that we are not out of the ordinary, that we are on schedule with our milestones, etc.  It's frustrating when you can't fix something as easily or neatly as you have other problems all your life.  But a lot of us have never fought an addiction before.  Breaking that is something new and totally different than we've ever done.

OK, I'm done whining.  For now.  Until the next one.

Anya
Member

I agree, I also have this need for reassurance that my quit is OK. And it's really common (maybe human nature?) to compare ourselves to others. So if I'm miserable, it helps to know that I'm not abnormal or a lost cause! 

I use the patch (I cut the 21 mg patch into quarters, and when I go down to 14 mg, I'll cut those into quarters, and so on). I would be interested in a 2nd "quit date" also, that reflects going 100% nicotine free. Going totally nic free is a scary prospect, as I've never been successful on earlier quits. I sure love reading about how others have been able to get 100% clean from this addiction.

Anya

day 10 

TW517
Member

"So if I'm miserable, it helps to know that I'm not abnormal or a lost cause!" Exactly!  As much fun as I've had with this topic, I really wasn't looking to say anyone's experience was better or worse than another's.  It's just natural, "Am I doing OK?" thinking.

Did you see Dale's post about cutting the patch? https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/thread/16932-cutting-the-patch 

I don't want to talk you into doing anything dangerous, but if you do continue your patch cutting plan, I'm very interested in how you think that worked for you.  When I tried the patch the first time, I got light-headed and nauseous.  I asked my doc if I could cut them in half and he said no.  I didn't ask why.  I just stupidly got mad, and thought, well then I'll just continue smoking.

joyeuxencore
Member

Thing is it's all normal because everybody has their own quit. Sometimes there are similarities like never being able to sleep (that was my big complaint) etc., etc. but since you are trying to get over your proclivity to whining you are comparing yourself to others hoping that will help??!!  I am quit for 5 years now and still whine when I need too!!!!!!!!!!!! xo